The Ties That Bind

I woke up kicking and thrashing on the bed. I screamed at the top of my lungs when three nurses held me and strapped me down to my bed. I wanted to die. What the hell happened?

"Sweetie calm down you're okay." One of them attempted to sooth me.

"NO! NO I'M NOT! I'M SUPOSE TO BE DEAD!" I screamed

The nurse held my arm flat across the bed while another proceeded to inject sedatives into me so that I would finally relax. She let go and brought the covers up to my shoulders. She had to be a mother. She gave one of those sighs only mothers can give. That sigh that says "you-will-get-through-this". It reminded me of my Mom.

The next immediate thing that popped into my head was the letter. It would be painfully obvious who I wrote it for. I made sure it was since Martin had no clue when he read my first draft. I layed my head back and thought of some possible things I can say or do that would force them to leave me in the hospital while they go on tour. Anything to get me out and away from that bus.

"Hello Lesley." A tall man walked into the room wearing a white coat. Who I would guess would be my doctor. "You had some night last night. Your brother and friends had quite a scare."

I avoided eye contact and turned to my side.

"I already told your brother the steps to take so that you will have a speedy recovery. I recomended you see a therapist and that you take anti-depressants which I've already perscribed."

"Give a pill popper drugs. I'll be having fun." I scoffed.

"They will hold on to the drugs and make sure you can't abuse them. I wish you luck." He stepped out of the room without another word.

"Why couldn't you let me go!?" I screamed and started to cry. "I wanted to go!"

"Maybe because we love you?" Martin's voice caught me off gaurd. "Maybe because Bryan didn't want to loose his sister? Because you know it will just add on to the pain he is still feels when his dad passed away. Maybe it's because John will miss your witty comments? Maybe because Paul--"

"Stop." I croaked

"You scared me Lesley! If I wouldn't have gone into the cabinet...Bryan or any of the other guys would have tried to wake you up and realize that you were gone. Not to mention that stunt you pulled on Paul."

"I wanted to go! Don't you get it?! I don't want to be here!" I cried

"Well you are just going to have to get over it because you are stuck here until you are old and wrinkled. With me and the rest of the guys."

Martin sat down in the chair besides me with a face of pure anguish.