Close Your Tired Eyes
1/1
Life is like one big challenge. This past year, however, seems like I just got tested for the biggest final exam ever. Sure my life’s not easy. People always think that because I’m Joe Jonas I get things in life handed to me in a crystal bucket. No. It doesn’t work that way. My brothers and I work non-stop, we’re always traveling, there are very few times when we get to just… rest. But right now, I was on a break.
Jules was sick. Julianne Andrews has been my girlfriend for the past year. I met her when we were on tour at a café in New York. When I first met her… she told me I shouldn’t fall in love with her. The reason? She was dying. That didn’t stop me.
I’m sitting in the hospital watching her sleep. She’s so fragile… pale. I’m scared. She told me she’s scared too and that I should go on and leave her. No way in hell would I do that. We’re going to face our fears together. I can tell she’s in pain because she has morphine dripping into her body. I stand up so silently so as not to wake her parents who were sleeping in the other chairs across the room. I climbed into the bed next to Jules and just… held her. She felt so cold and her breathing was shallow. The oxygen tube connected to her nose gave her the air she couldn’t get on her own. Leaning down I kissed her eyelids before falling asleep next to her.
A week later and she was in a coma. That just about sent me over the edge. I had to get out of the room but I didn’t want to leave her alone. Finally I came to the state of mind to be able to leave and I went and sat in the chapel. I just sat with my elbows resting on my knees, head in my hands. My mind started to wander into thoughts of what could have been.
If something had gone differently… maybe if I had met Jules sooner, something could have been done to help her. I don’t know what much could have been done but… her family didn’t have enough money to help her when she was younger. Maybe… just maybe… we could have paid for medical expenses like we are now. My parents agreed that I could pay for Jules to stay in the hospital and be kept comfortable.
But things didn’t happen like that. She is in the hospital and she is going to die. She’s going to die soon. This thought just weighed so heavy on my mind. I couldn’t imagine living without her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me; even better than living the dream with my brothers and becoming famous.
I heard the door open and footsteps falling. Turning to look, I noticed Nick walking in quickly. I stood up and rushed over to him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“They’re losing her, Joe.” He whispered.
I grabbed his arms and moved him to the side, rushing past him and out the doors. I passed Rob and flew down the hallway. My mind raced with all of the good times I spent with her and tears started to prick at my eyes. Skidding to a halt I turned into her room where her parents and doctor were standing over her.
The beeping of the monitor was like a pounding in my ear. It startled me to see her eyes open. Her hand limply moved when she saw me and I dashed to the bed.
“I thought she was in a coma.” I said to the doctor.
“She was. She woke up so recently and her heart rate started to drop. Since she has signed a DNR we’re just… waiting.”
“Oh God.” I whispered as I squeezed her hand gently. The tears streamed down my face. Slowly she shook her head from side to side, asking me not to cry for her.
I climbed into the bed again. One last time and I held her as she breathed. I could feel her heart slowly beating and it was killing me inside. Killing me to see her like this and the tears just kept on coming. I placed soft and gently kisses on her cheek, her forehead, one last kiss on her lips.
“It won’t be much longer.” The doctor whispered and I heard her mother sob.
“Go ahead,” I whispered, choking on my words. “Close your tired eyes.”
The monitor stopped and held a steady beep as Jules’ eyes slid closed. The doctor reached over and shut the monitor off. My body shook as I held her one last time.
****
3 weeks later
I woke up to the sunlight streaming in my window. Downstairs I could hear the hustle and bustle of everyone getting ready. I showered and put my clothes on, readying myself for the interviews we had today. I picked up the photograph I had of Jules that I kept on my night stand and kissed it like I did every morning.
*********************************************************
Goodnight my love
I feel you drifting, baby
Goodbye my best friend
This ain’t no kind of living
Goodnight my love
At least I held you one last time
Before tomorrow
Jules was sick. Julianne Andrews has been my girlfriend for the past year. I met her when we were on tour at a café in New York. When I first met her… she told me I shouldn’t fall in love with her. The reason? She was dying. That didn’t stop me.
I’m sitting in the hospital watching her sleep. She’s so fragile… pale. I’m scared. She told me she’s scared too and that I should go on and leave her. No way in hell would I do that. We’re going to face our fears together. I can tell she’s in pain because she has morphine dripping into her body. I stand up so silently so as not to wake her parents who were sleeping in the other chairs across the room. I climbed into the bed next to Jules and just… held her. She felt so cold and her breathing was shallow. The oxygen tube connected to her nose gave her the air she couldn’t get on her own. Leaning down I kissed her eyelids before falling asleep next to her.
A week later and she was in a coma. That just about sent me over the edge. I had to get out of the room but I didn’t want to leave her alone. Finally I came to the state of mind to be able to leave and I went and sat in the chapel. I just sat with my elbows resting on my knees, head in my hands. My mind started to wander into thoughts of what could have been.
If something had gone differently… maybe if I had met Jules sooner, something could have been done to help her. I don’t know what much could have been done but… her family didn’t have enough money to help her when she was younger. Maybe… just maybe… we could have paid for medical expenses like we are now. My parents agreed that I could pay for Jules to stay in the hospital and be kept comfortable.
But things didn’t happen like that. She is in the hospital and she is going to die. She’s going to die soon. This thought just weighed so heavy on my mind. I couldn’t imagine living without her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me; even better than living the dream with my brothers and becoming famous.
I heard the door open and footsteps falling. Turning to look, I noticed Nick walking in quickly. I stood up and rushed over to him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“They’re losing her, Joe.” He whispered.
I grabbed his arms and moved him to the side, rushing past him and out the doors. I passed Rob and flew down the hallway. My mind raced with all of the good times I spent with her and tears started to prick at my eyes. Skidding to a halt I turned into her room where her parents and doctor were standing over her.
The beeping of the monitor was like a pounding in my ear. It startled me to see her eyes open. Her hand limply moved when she saw me and I dashed to the bed.
“I thought she was in a coma.” I said to the doctor.
“She was. She woke up so recently and her heart rate started to drop. Since she has signed a DNR we’re just… waiting.”
“Oh God.” I whispered as I squeezed her hand gently. The tears streamed down my face. Slowly she shook her head from side to side, asking me not to cry for her.
I climbed into the bed again. One last time and I held her as she breathed. I could feel her heart slowly beating and it was killing me inside. Killing me to see her like this and the tears just kept on coming. I placed soft and gently kisses on her cheek, her forehead, one last kiss on her lips.
“It won’t be much longer.” The doctor whispered and I heard her mother sob.
“Go ahead,” I whispered, choking on my words. “Close your tired eyes.”
The monitor stopped and held a steady beep as Jules’ eyes slid closed. The doctor reached over and shut the monitor off. My body shook as I held her one last time.
****
3 weeks later
I woke up to the sunlight streaming in my window. Downstairs I could hear the hustle and bustle of everyone getting ready. I showered and put my clothes on, readying myself for the interviews we had today. I picked up the photograph I had of Jules that I kept on my night stand and kissed it like I did every morning.
*********************************************************
Goodnight my love
I feel you drifting, baby
Goodbye my best friend
This ain’t no kind of living
Goodnight my love
At least I held you one last time
Before tomorrow
♠ ♠ ♠
It wasn't until I was listening to the song on repeat and read the lyrics from a website that I realized how truly SAD this song is =[Hope you all like it.
Thoughts?
~Steph <3