I Almost Told You That I Loved You

"Nate, you know I left because I wanted to go out into the world and make something of myself. Not because I didn't love you" I said. "Yeah? Well, either way it hurt like hell" he spat. "Nate, I never meant for that to happen like that" I said. "Well, it did"he said. I didn't even know why in the hell I was the one apologizing. He was the one that left me by myself and broke my heart. "I'm" I trailed off, and just looked back up at him, trying to find the words to say. He slowly started leaning in to kiss me, but my hand collided with his cheek.
My eyes got wide, realizing what I had just down and smiled evily to myself. "What?" he asked. "Nate, I have a boyfriend" I said. He looked taken aback. "Who would that be?" he asked. "His name is Trent. He's a tattoo artist in downtown Toronto" I said. But did I think that my relationship with Trent was going anywhere? No, I didn't. "Oh, great" he said sarcastically. "I had to move on. Its not like I was going to sit and wait for you to come up here and find me. Or leave all of this behind just to find you. Plus, after you just knd of up-and-left I didn't really want to see you anyway" I said. "Oh, so I didn't mean that much to you?" he asked. "It's not that, Nate, its just that you hurt me too much" I said. "Look, I'm sorry I even brought it up" he said. "Well, I'm sorry that I ever fell in love with you" I spat.
I stood up and walked to my room, slamming the door behind me. I sat on my bed as I heard Nate approach the door. "Get back out here" he said. "No" I replied. "Get back out here" he repeated, this time more assertively. "Who are you, my mother?" I asked. "No, but I just want to talk about this. It's been six years, Olivia, you could at least act a little bit more mature about it" he said. "No, Nate. Just go to bed. There's a blanket and a pillow on the couch. See you in the morning" I said. He then opened the door and pushed me down on the bed, straddling me. "I just want to talk, alright?" he asked. I rolled my eyes. "Really? Because by the way you're positioned it seems as though you want to make a porn-o" I said. "I'm sorry, but we need to talk about this eventually, Olivia" he said. "Fine, but pleast get off of me" I said.
He lifted one of his legs over and then plopped down next to me on my bed. "Can I sleep in here tonight?" he asked. "Whatever" I said. I mean, it wasn't like I hadn't shared a bed with him before. We dated on and off for four years. "I'm going to go change and then I think I'm going to go to sleep" I said. "All right" he said. I grabbed some pajamas out of my dresser and and went into the bathroom and changed. When I came back out, the ceiling light in my room had been turned off and my beside lamp had been turned on instead. "Hey" said Nate. "Hi. Jeez, way to make things awkward between us Nate. You were always good at that" I said. "Let's just forget it ever happened" he said. "Agreed. Goodnight, Nate" I said. "Night" he replied.

I didn't sleep well that night.