Guilt

Julianne opened her eyes and made the conscious realization that she was dreaming. She knew that she had been walking before she opened her eyes, as though this was a movie that she’d turned on right in the middle of the scene. She drifted down a white hospital hallway, moving gently but steadily in the odd, patient stride of a dreamer. She recognized the setting—she would be dreaming, once again, about seeing Kelly die in the hospital. Except something was different this time: Matt walked along with her, their hands linked between them.

Neither of them spoke as they turned into Kelly’s hospital room. The doctor and nurse were there like always, but something was different about them, too. They were frozen in place, like their parts in the show had been paused. The doctor stood contemplating Kelly with his pencil pressed to the clipboard; the nurse stood facing away from Kelly pushing a button on one of the machines hooked up to his dying body.

Kelly suddenly snapped upright in his bed. His eyes popped open and his jaw dropped. Julianne was reminded strongly of a marionette pulled upright by its strings. Shapeless fog poured out of Kelly’s mouth, pooling into his lap before shaping itself into a halfway translucent replica of Kelly. Julianne knew without question that it was Kelly’s spirit. Kelly’s empty shell of a body fell back against the bed, and for some strange reason, the frozen doctor and nurse both fell to the ground, clattering against the floor as though they were made of wood. Julianne wondered if they were all marionettes in this dream.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” Kelly cackled in Matt’s direction, drawing himself into a crouching position, looking ready to spring. Neither Matt nor Julianne responded. They were marionettes, Julianne realized with horror, and the only one with free will was Kelly. “I’ve beendying to meet you!”

Kelly cackled again. He sprang from the bed. For a moment, Julianne thought he would simply collide with Matt’s broad chest and crumple to the ground. Instead, his spirit absorbed into Matt’s body. Matt’s body rejected his own spirit in favor of Kelly’s, and the fog of Matt’s spirit seeped across the floor like a slowly inching worm before finally soaking into Kelly’s dead body.

Julianne suddenly regained control of her body again. In the same instant, Matt-Kelly’s hand closed even harder around her hand so that she couldn’t escape. She struggled hopelessly against its strong hold, but it only laughed. It had Kelly’s laugh.

“Let’s go home, honey!” it exclaimed. It spoke with Kelly’s voice. But it was Matt’s body. Julianne struggled harder against its hold, knowing that Kelly’s spirit in Matt’s body was bitter and very upset with Julianne. Julianne couldn’t even imagine the horrors Kelly had planned for her beyond this room. She’d been expecting something like this—she’d asked for it ever since she’d developed a crush on Matt, had demanded it when she kissed him, and now she’d sealed her fate by having sex with Matt.

It dragged Julianne from the room, and suddenly all she could see was darkness.

Julianne hadn’t even opened her eyes before she rolled out from underneath Matt’s arm and slipped from the bed. She couldn’t do this anymore. She would go home and face Kelly’s wrath alone, as she was meant to. Afterwards, she would cut all ties from Matt. She would go to great lengths to get him to leave her alone—she’d change her phone number, get a different job, install a security system so if he tried to break in, someone would notice.

Julianne frantically pulled on her undergarments and began to hunt down Matt’s clothes that she had been wearing. Kelly wouldn’t be very happy when she came home wearing Matt’s clothes, but she didn’t have any time to go grab her own clothes. She needed to leave before Matt woke up.

“You’re running again.”

Julianne ignored him. She wondered why her vision was blurring, and then realized that she was crying. She straightened instantly, swiping the back of her hands across her eyes to swipe away the tears.

“Why are you running, Julianne?”

“I’m not,” Julianne snapped, panicking when she couldn’t find her clothes. Fine then, she would drive home in her underwear. It didn’t matter. No one would be out at this time to see her anyway.

“You are,” Matt insisted.

“No, I am fucking not,” Julianne snarled, whirling around to glare at Matt. He’d sat up in the bed, and the sheets had formed a puddle in his lap. Julianne took a step back when she imagined that the sheets were Matt’s soul pooling in his lap. She blinked, and the illusion was gone. Matt’s bare torso gleamed in the waning moonlight, as bare as something else Julianne couldn’t see—Julianne quickly slammed that window of her mind shut. She couldn’t think about the way Matt made her feel just a couple of hours ago, or she’d never leave his house.

“Okay, so maybe this whole thing was a mistake. Maybe it’s the right thing to do. Either way, we’re in it together, Julianne. You can’t run from everything. You can’t run from life. Please, Julianne, just stay. Be brave and stay with me. Otherwise, you’re running to nowhere,” Matt said logically. Julianne looked down hopelessly and scowled upon seeing her black t-shirt right at her feet. She was actually standing on it. But she felt no need or want to reach down and pick it up. It was the irresistible tug of Kelly’s will forcing itself upon her. Kelly was making her feel this way. She didn’t know why. She didn’t question it.

Maybe if Matt had been less...well, if Matt hadn’t been so adept at satisfying Julianne, she would find it easier to fight against Kelly’s will. Julianne knew no one had ever made her feel as good as Matt did—even Kelly. She decided to save herself from a complex and blamed it on the fact that she hadn’t had sex for a very long time.

“There’s still night left. C’mon,” Matt said gently, patting the side of the bed that Julianne had recently vacated.

Julianne stepped forward and slipped underneath the covers. She didn’t hesitate in pressing her body against Matt’s and resting her head on his chest. He rubbed her back, and within minutes, she’d fallen back to sleep.