Guilt

Julianne stood next to the table in the kitchen. She leaned across it, one hand braced against it as the other, which held a sudsy washcloth, spun around and around in an endless circle against a spot on the table that she’d been scrubbing for the past ten minutes. It beat sitting on the couch next to Matt staring at a blank television screen that neither of them felt like switching on. At least this way, she felt like she was doing something productive, even though she’d already spent the entire day cleaning the house from top to bottom with Matt’s help. That man was coming more and more in handy as time wore on. He had even carefully dusted the living room as she had asked, using one of those gray feather dusters stereotypically used by French maids. Julianne hadn’t made any wise cracks about French maids around him, however; it would do no good to antagonize the man who agreed to dust her living room without complaint.

Julianne was nervous. During her first full session with Dr. Monger, her shrink, she’d told him the whole story of her and Kelly. Instantly upon hearing that Julianne had cut herself off from all old friends, Dr. Monger interrupted and told Julianne it would help for her to get in touch with her old friends. It would be difficult after all this time, he agreed, but in the long run it would really help her recovery. Now, both she and Matt were waiting for her best friend from eternities ago, Margaret, to arrive.

Matt had been very helpful when Julianne needed to contact Margaret. Julianne had thrown her address book in along with all her photos of Kelly and her wedding ring into the shoe box hidden in her guest closet. Matt had dutifully gone up and retrieved the book for her. But once Julianne found Margaret’s number, she couldn’t seem to punch it into her phone. Matt once again took charge and put the number in for her, forcing her essentially to keep a conversation going with Margaret.

Julianne had expected anger from Margaret. She had abruptly and without warning cut off ties with her friends, never to be heard from again. Margaret must’ve been worried about Julianne. And once someone found out the object of their anxiety was alright, they generally responded with anger.

However, upon hearing that it was Julianne calling, Margaret was anything but mad. She was actually extremely relieved and excited to hear from her old friend again. When Julianne brought up Margaret coming to visit so they could catch up, Margaret didn’t even wait for Julianne to finish before saying yes. They set up a date and a time.

That date and time had arrived, and now Julianne was anxious. Would Margaret react differently now that she’d gotten a chance to think about what Julianne had done after Kelly’s death? Julianne didn’t expect her to be so enthusiastic upon meeting face-to-face again after all this time.

“You’ll wear a hole in that table,” Matt scolded gently, resting his hand over Julianne’s. She snapped upright, her hand sliding out from beneath his.

“I was scrubbing,” Julianne answered defensively, throwing the washcloth back into the sink.

“You scrubbed it earlier. I watched you. We haven’t used it since,” Matt pointed out.

“Let’s just call the whole thing off, okay?” Julianne asked, stepping around the table to stand directly in front of Matt. “We’ll call Margaret and tell her that I’ve caught a nasty cold and I’m bedridden and delusional. I can’t recognize her, I barely recognize you, and it’s highly contagious. You’re already showing signs of having caught it. Look how pale you are already!”

Matt smiled amusedly as Julianne rested her hand on his forehead.

“Oh, yeah, that’s a fever. 101 or 102, I’d say. You better leave before you get even sicker.”

“Julianne, relax,” Matt said soothingly, capturing both of Julianne’s hands. “I’m sure she’s just glad that you’ve finally called. She’ll be thrilled to see you.”

“Let’s not and say we did,” Julianne continued. “She’s not here yet...” Julianne trailed away and then groaned when she heard a vehicle pull into the driveway. “Oh, now we’ve gone and done it.” She shoved Matt towards the doorway. “Answer the door while I hide. Tell her I’ve caught some dangerous new disease. Highly contagious. My house has been quarantined. You’re the brave nurse caring for me and risking your own life.”

“Julianne!” Matt laughed, not budging as Julianne strained to shove him further into the living room. He turned, capturing her upper arms in both hands. He spun her around and marched her to the front door. “Answer the damn door already.”

A knock came at the door. Matt released Julianne and motioned encouragingly towards the doorknob as he backed away. She scowled at him before turning and pulling open the door.

Margaret stood on the other side. She hadn’t changed much since Julianne last saw her. She maybe wore her chestnut hair a little shorter, lost a little weight, changed up her style a bit. But essentially, she looked the same as when Julianne last saw her at Kelly’s funeral, before Julianne made the decision to become a reclusive, brutally honest grump workaholic being haunted by her deceased husband.

For several moments, the two of them just stood and stared at each other. Matt was just about to step forward and invite Margaret in when both women burst into tears and threw their arms around each other. Matt decided to hang back then, figuring it best to not get caught up in the hugging and tears going on on Julianne’s doorstep.

“Come in, come in,” Julianne said hastily, swiping the back of her hand sloppily across both eyes. She stepped back and allowed Margaret in before shutting the door behind her. “Margaret, this is Matt. Matt, this is Margaret.”

“Damn, girl, why can’t I attract men like you can?” Margaret asked as she shook Matt’s hand. She turned back to look sternly at Julianne, hands on her hips. “Kelly was gorgeous. And now Adonis over here in all his tattoo-bound glory! Even when you become a recluse workaholic you attract the cream of the crop!”

“It’s something about the red hair,” Julianne said with a smile, the first real smile Matt had ever seen on her face. “You’d probably like Brian better.”

“His name sounds sexy,” Margaret commented. “Details?”

“Tall, dark hair, dark eyes, muscular, funny...”

“He’s not single, though.”

“No. How could you tell?”

“Girl, men like that never stay single long. They’re like trailers in a trailer park being attacked by a raging tornado. They just don’t last,” Margaret said, sinking down onto the couch.

“I knew there was a reason I was your friend,” Julianne commented, seating herself next to Margaret.

“I’ll go buy pizza,” Matt announced before exiting the house. Margaret grinned at Julianne.

“He even feeds you. How darling. So, why the hell aren’t you in his pants?” Margaret demanded.

“About that...”

“You are?”

“Well...once,” Julianne said reluctantly.

“And? How was it? Or is he so Adonis-like it’s pretty much like making love to a marble statue?”

“I find no words that could give the experience any justice.”

“So it was good, then.”

“Yeah,” Julianne sighed. She quickly snapped out of it as Margaret giggled.

“You never even acted that way with Kelly. Speaking of Kelly...what the hell happened?”

Julianne took a deep breath and began to explain everything.