Tears I Can't Deny

Maybe it was the memories coming back to him, maybe it was those late nights lying under the stars singing this particular song to the skies, and maybe it was just him being too emotional and sentimental over something that everyone got over easily - everyone except for him.

Whatever it was, it flooded his eyes with tears, though not a single droplet cascaded down his pale cheeks, and caused his throat to constrict - to close up. A single word was broken, but everything else was perfectly fine, everything else except him and that single word. He didn't want the crowd to see him breaking down now, he had come so far without so much as a teardrop or a scream of frustration, he didn't want to break that either.

He continued singing - the show must go on - the crowd was singing along so beautifully and he didn't want to ruin that for Ian, Dallon, and Spencer. He doesn't want to make this anybody else's problem.

He just wants to have those arms around him again, to have those people accompany him in that cramped up bus, to see those faces surround his on the pages of a magazine or on the webpages of sites and forums. He just wants to have what he used to have back, he wants his friends back, he wants the old Panic! back; before the break up, before the coke, before the split, before the problems, before the cheating, before Keltie, before the fights, and, most definitely, before all the growing up.

But maybe he doesn't know what he wants. Maybe he just wants to know what his heart wants. There are too many 'maybe's in his head that he's completely forgetting about the crowd and the lights and the music. He shakes his head slightly and urges the crowd to sing the last few lines with him, and he immediately regrets it - almost.

"I wanna hear you sing it!"

Hey moon, please forget to fall down.
Hey moon, don't you go down.
You are at the top of my lungs
drawn to the ones who never yawn.

The ones who never yawn.