Sequel: Saving Sloane Winters
Status: COMPLETE! Check out the sequel 'Saving Sloane Winters'.

Finding Sloane Winters Crazy

E L E V E N

www.swintersjourneyhome.blogspot.com

I know they don't think I'm stupid.

I'm not, I know they talk about him... Kay hates him, it's so obvious, Bess doesn't mind him, as long as he doesn't acknowledge her and he's still friends with Riley she'll be a-okay with him, Sarah giggles whenever a remotely cute boy is around.

But he's not cute at all.

He's so much more, but there are no words to describe him.

I sound like a love sick idiot, that's what sickens me, I'm not in love with him, I'm sure of that, in fact, I hate him. I hate him for doing this to me, for getting into my mind and becoming a permanent visitor to my thoughts, he'll never leave. I hate him for being so sarcastic, for that knowing flash of expression, for always having an answer to my quick questions, for that smirk, for making me think I won, when he always had the upper hand.

I wish I never met him, I wish I never sat at that table that day, I wish I didn't open my mouth, I wish I could stop talking to him.

And yet, I wish I could kiss him.

That's why I hate him so much, he's the only thing I think about now, it sickens me, makes me feel pathetic and vulnerable.

Weak.

I'm not weak at all, I am better than this.

But I'm going to talk to him still, I need to, because if I don't, I'll surely go crazy, but I'm already losing my sanity, he does it on purpose, his eyes... you're intoxicated, you'll never get out, not once you're already drowned in the grey abyss.

Dr Rowan doesn't mind me making this private anymore, as long as she knows that I'm getting all of this out, releasing feelings and thoughts for just a short while, until they come back again, like a wave.

A grey wave.

Like his eyes.

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I COULD USE ANOTHER CIGARETTE