Wind and Waves

The road stretched out far ahead of her, empty fields of grass surrounded her on all sides as she continued to drive back to the place her heart told her she needed to be. The hum of her Mustang assured her that she'd make it there, and hopefully by tomorrow night. Her pulse thundered in her veins making her slightly jittery from the monarch butterfly that nipped at her stomach lining, her own body's reaction to the memories that played in her mind. It felt as if she was in a movie theater, the same reel repeating itself as she waited for the film to burn into dust, as most memories did over time. The wear and tear making the clear images dissolve into blurry images we couldn't read anymore, a part of her was hoping the film would disintegrate. It would slide into the fragile pieces that lay scattered through her memories so the pain expanding in her heart would simply disappear.

Grace's hand found his through the dim moonlight, his strong fingers entwining around her unsteady hand. Her eyes focusing on the way his hair tumbled over his collar in an untamed mess, her eyes taking in every tendril. She breathed in the shadows that fell over his adolescent face, his cheek bones high. The slight pudge that clung to his face but not in an unattractive way, but more in a healthy way. Her lips forming into a smile at his own lopsided grin, her heart melting. Her eyes drifted from his to look back at the purple sky and the diamonds that streaked across it, shining in their own brilliant gleam.

Grace closed her eyes soaking in the soft murmur of the crickets blanketing them in a silence that was comfortable. Grass tickled her bare legs and arms, the earth their bed for that night. Their last night together. Her eyes danced back to Dane's face and watched his chest rise and fall with a steady, relaxed rhythm putting her anxiety at ease. She let her eyes close for a moment before gently releasing her grip upon his hand, her fingers gently brushing the hair from his forehead letting her lips meet his warm flesh before picking herself up to leave.
Taking one hand off the wheel she rubbed at her tired eyes, it was a long drive back to Summerville. The sun was coming up over the horizon painting the skies with a multitude of colors. Her own heart stumbling in her chest as a particular memory played in her mind. Her chocolate eyes filling with tears as a hard lump formed in her throat, preventing her from saying the words she wanted to say out loud, despite the fact she was alone. Her own heart knowing once the words were released the weight of world pushing down on her would release itself as well. The words she wished she could have even said back then.

"Grace, what are you doing?" His voice ending with nervous laughter as her hands held his, guiding him upon the dirt covered path. Her eyes speaking volumes about what her heart wished to say, her hands griping his tighter. "Step up," She whispered and watched as his foot lifted in hesitation. "Put it down," She said with a laugh watching as he fumbled getting up the steps. Her hands pulled him across the wood paneled floor of the abandoned Victorian house. Her hands reached up behind him to pull the black tie from around his eyes watching as he took in his surroundings. Candles lit up the room and a two blankets dusted the floor.

His lips pressed into hers before she could speak, the words she wanted to say swallowed hard as desire ignited inside of her body. Frenzied hands and uncontrollable needs took over now, her own body reacting to his; the chemistry between them almost bound to blow up the place. Her heart pounded against her ribs as her breathing became labored but as she looked at the man in front of her, his own breathing was labored and his was heart beating fast against the palm of her hand. This was the night she'd remember all her life, all of the guards so safely placed around her heart shedding it's armor. All the innocence she had left was being shattered within a blink of an eye, and as their passionate dance ended and she lay curled up against him, her heart still couldn't spill the words she had been meaning to say all along.

His lips brushed over the top of her head making her only want to confess the love she possessed for him. But she could only clutch to him tighter hoping that'd they make this last. That this could last forever. Her eyes watched as shadowed light peaked through the cracks over the wood covered windows. She pulled on his shirt before walking to the window of the abandoned house to look at the beautiful painting the sky had created.

"It's beautiful," Grace whispered softly to herself not knowing Dane had awoken. "But, not as beautiful as you. I love you, Gracie." Her body stiffened knowing she couldn't say the words he had said. She turned to face Dane who stood only a few feet away, a smile lighting up his face before there lips found each others once more drinking in the need and desire they produced together. For now, the words she swallowed and hadn't said back had gone unnoticed.

As Grace climbed back into her car after stopping for sleep and food she knew that by tonight she'd finally be where she needed to be. She had made too many wrong turns in her life time, too many mistakes that she'd regret. She regretted leaving Summerville, she regretted moving so far away from her friends and family. Grace regretted not saying goodbye to Dane, the one man who stole her heart, soul, eyes, and everything else in-between. They had been so young, they had been so in love. And yet, she turned her back on something purely magic to pursue something her heart wasn't even set on.

Her fingers gripped the black leather steering wheel, her own heart knowing this was the last thing she had to do. Without mistakes we'd never learn to make anything right, and she knew that if she didn't try, it'd be another what if to add to the list. She could feel the anxiety starting to get to her but she continued telling herself to be strong. She'd make it through this, alive, preferably. A girl could only take so much heart ache before eventually she becomes a cat lady, her lips pressing into a thin line at the thought of becoming such. With a simple shake of her head she dismissed the thought letting it slip past as she tried to focus on another memory.


"So you're just going to leave?"

"What else am I suppose to do, Dane? I refuse to waste my life here in Summerville. Nothing is here for me. A dead end job? God, I feel so trapped in this town. I need to live my life for once, I need to personally spread my wings and fly from the coop. You're life might be here but I don't have one here."

"There's nothing here for you?"

Her own words registering in her mind as she watched the hurt register over his face, her words coming out more blatantly than she had expected. Her hand reached for his arm when his body jerked away, his back towards her. It was silent, and for once it was the most uncomfortable she had ever felt. Her arms cupped her elbows as she stared at the red shirt he wore, "If that's how you feel, then go Grace." She watched as he walked towards the thresh hold of the door, then his face turned to look at her. Only then did she realize the tears that stung his eyes, "When you come home, I'll be waiting."

"I'm not coming back," Grace whispered as he left, the room suddenly feeling twenty degrees colder. She let herself sink to the floor trying to find the solution, a compromise. But, Dane's life was here. He ran the apple orchid and she wanted to go off to college in New York, she wanted to finally find herself. She couldn't compromise finding herself for picking apples all of her life, wondering what it would have been like to live in the Big Apple.

As Grace climbed out of her mustang and ran towards the last spot she had seen Dane, hesitation settled over her. It felt liberating to be back home running towards the one person she needed to feel complete. It felt as if she finally flying the way she had dreamed of flying when she left for college, the wind was finally there to lift her up. Her bare feet pounded against the the soft summer's grass, her own heart clogging her throat as she stopped in the middle of the field. His back was to her as her breath came in uneven gasps. How many nights had he sat out here wondering if she'd come? Her own brain tried to wrap around it as she walked forward slowly and sat next to him.

"I came back," Grace said softly running a hand through her messy curls, his eyes turning to briefly look at her, "So I see." Her eyes turned to analyze him, the pudge that clung to his face seemed to have vanished as sharp angles now consumed his face. His cheek bones high and defined while his nose lay crooked upon his face. His lips lay pursed as he continued looking at the sky above them, her own heart urging her to say something, anything. But the words seemed to be stuck in her throat, "How was the drive?"

"Long," Grace's brows furrowed together at the random question. Without another word he stood up, towering above her. She scurried up now only coming to his shoulder, the height of the man now standing in front of her throwing her slightly off balance. "Well, goodbye." She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out as he turned to walk. Her own heart screaming at her to say something, anything to him.

"Dane," She hollered and watched as he turned around, question written all over his face. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?" He simply shrugged, "No clue what you're talking about Gracie."

"Damn it, Dane. I love you." She screamed as tears came to her eyes, finally the words she had been meaning to say all along flowing from her mouth. She watched as his lopsided grin came upon his face, "Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?" She laughed as tears continued to fall down her face, his strides were slow making her nervous. Then his hand slide to cup the back of her neck as his lips found hers only to pull back and whisper three words.

"Welcome home, Grace."

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Just fall into place and you’ll fall into me, we’ll make it out you’ll see. I’ve only got forever and forever is fine, just take your time. We’ll stop the clock together and know that the timing was right.