Hate Me

I climbed into Ryan’s car before he pulled out of the school parking lot. “Do you mind if we stop by the clinic so I can get my results from my test back?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” he said. “Good thing it’s conveniently located just down the road.”

I chuckled at that.

“Have you heard of Little Big Planet?” He asked.

“You mean the game that has nothing but machines shaped like penises and recreations of Mario levels?” I asked.

“It’s-”

“And Mario penises?”

He laughed before pulling into the clinic parking lot. “Yeah, that, so do you want to play it?”

I shrugged before looking at him. His brown hair hung in neat bangs that fell just short of his dark, coal eyes. “I suppose I’ll play it.”

His face lit up in delight before he said, “Great! Amy never wants to play it with me when she comes over.”

I rolled my eyes at him playfully before opening the car door to get out. Ryan joined me outside of the car and walked into the clinic with me.

Suddenly, I felt his fingertips ghost over my palm. I looked up at him in surprise and question. His face was slightly red from blushing as he kept his stare straight ahead, biting his lip.

I sighed before saying, “I suppose I’ll humor you… for now,” I said, letting my hand wrap around his, our fingers intertwining and our palms touching. Though, his was a bit sweaty, making mine, in turn, sweaty. I knew I was blushing too, though. We tried to conceal our linked hands from the public by letting the sleeves of my oversized hoodie fall over them.

When I looked up at the secretary’s desk, there was a girl I recognized from school. For a second, I thought we had let the secret out. Not that we were officially dating but just that we were fraternizing like this. She was a bit overweight but had a pretty face, actually. Narrow and with light blue eyes. I wanted to say her name was Hannah. I think we had a class together last year, actually.

Her lips pulled together into a smile. “You’re here for Dr. Cohen right?” She asked. Her voice was shockingly small and shy. As if she were a puppy that had been kicked repeatedly.

“Yeah, I’m Norman” I said.

“Oh, you can go in now if you want,” she said.

I looked back at Ryan, our hands disconnected. “Can he come too?”

“I don’t think he’d have a problem with it,” she said quietly.

I motioned for Ryan to follow me back to the office where Dr. Cohen was. I opened the door to his office and looked in a bit, spotting the psychiatrist at his desk.

“Norman! Just the man I wanted to talk to,” he greeted warmly. He saw Ryan and welcomed him in as well.

“I assume the results are back,” I said, giving a small smile.

“Yes… they were… how should I put this… different than what I expected. Take a look for yourself,” he said as he handed me the envelope.

I bit my lip, nervous about the results now. What if I was really stupid? If I was, then I really don’t want to open this in front of Ryan.

Just as I thought that, Ryan’s fingertips gently brushed over my hands before coming back to rest on his lap. It was like he was saying that he wouldn’t change his opinion of me just because I had a lower IQ that some people

At that, I decided to just open it. I pulled out the piece of paper.

“One-forty-three?” I asked, staring blankly at the paper.

“You’re incredibly intelligent, Norman. I’m surprised you aren’t in more advanced classes,” he told me. Then he looked at the clock. “I had a 3:00 appointment and since I didn’t intend for this to be an entire session, we’ll discuss this further next Tuesday, alright?”

“I, uh… yeah, that’s fine,” I said as I stood up, Ryan mimicking me.

*~*~*~*

I stared at my test results as we drove back to Ryan’s house. “You’re gonna burn a hole in that, if you keep staring at it.”

He pulled into the driveway and then got out and pulled me out of the passenger’s side. “Come on, let’s play Little Big Planet.”

I kicked off my shoes up in his room and laid on my stomach at the foot of his bed, facing his TV as he popped the game into his PlayStation 3.

Since earlier today, I was a little nervous being alone with him but not a bad nervous, just more like… I don’t know if I want him to kiss me or something like that or if I don’t.

He handed me a controller and laid the same way I laid on his bed. Some kind of urge to kiss him came over me but I ignored it to play the game. Perhaps it was the close proximity.

A level or two into the game, he turned to me. Our eyes just kind of searched the others’. “Um…” I mumbled before carefully and slowly leaning over to gently press my lips to his, trying to savor the feeling.

When I pulled away, Ryan blinked. “I wanted to talk about this…”

I bit my lip, suddenly embarrassed by my spontaneity.

“Should we… go out?” He asked, his eyes shying away from mine and his cheeks filling with pink.

“I… I don’t know,” I said, trying to answer as honestly as I could. I really didn’t know about actually dating him. I know I like kissing him, I know I like being around him. Didn’t I say I wanted a relationship with him?

“You don’t have to tell anyone at school or even our friends,” he told me as we both sat up. He wrapped his fingers of both hands around my arms above the elbows. Just a light touch, as if to comfort me.

“Then what’s the point of dating?”

He looked down for a second and then back at me before saying, “I want to… be able to call you mine.”

My teeth automatically went to gnaw at my bottom lip. “I… okay… I think I’d like that…”

A split second later, he’d pulled me into his arms and into a hug before his lips found mine. Our lips moved together, trying to communicate our feelings that can’t otherwise be expressed in words.

But I’m happy with this, with him.