Destined to Die

I remember when I was a child; my Father would tell me that I wasn't supposed to exist. I didn't understand what he meant, but now that I've grown, I understand. I was something my father didn't want. I was a mistake, a mistake he wish he had not made more than anything. That was the only line he would say to me. He took care of me though, but he did not save me from the people who treated me so badly. I lived out in the country, my neighbors hated me, I never really understood why.

I remember walking off to somewhere, and getting rocks thrown at me by children my age. They called me a monster, a beast, freak, they told me to go die, all the time. I was six years old...

I cried every single time... No one ever saved me. The pain was so unbearable. I remember when this one boy was throwing rocks at me, and other things as well. His Mother was coming to pick him up, from our day care. She came outside, she saw what he was doing to me, yet she didn't stop him. She only said a few words, "Kill the beast later, we need to go meet your Father."

My eyes went so wide when she said that. I couldn't believe how cruel I was being treated. Could anyone ever understand how much pain I was feeling?

....

My Mother killed herself on my twelfth birthday. She couldn't take the pain of seeing her child get treated this way.

I hated her...

Could she not see that I was in so much more pain than her?

Now she left me all alone.

My brother blamed me for it, and he beat me.

Some twelfth birthday, right?

They call me a monster because my hair is silver and my eyes are red. They said no human has red eyes, but if I'm not a human, then why does my heart beat?

When I was thirteen, my brother was killed, by my Father.

When I turned Fourteen my Father killed himself over the guilt of killing his own son.

I was forced to live with my Father's close friend, because the foster homes didn't want to take me.

Terrible right?

I remember standing there at the door with a man next to me asking them if they would take me, they took one look at me, and said no, then slammed the door in our face.

I snapped.

Once my Father's friend Philip left for work, I got up out of my bed, slowly. I took an hour long shower, I ate nothing for breakfast, I put myself in a dress, and I grabbed my Mother's favorite pair of earrings. For one simple reason...
I wanted to end everything.
I couldn't take it anymore.
It hurts too much.
It had been ten years now, the torture hasn't stopped.
I...
I'm ending my life.
I grabbed a knife, and ran out the door.

I ran through the tall grasses, I kept running and running.

I ran until I was out of breath, and I was in a place, no one else was in.

It was a sunny day, there was water in front of me, clear blue water, and the grass was as green as ever.

I began to shake with the knife in my hand, and the tears began to fall down my face.

I took the pair of earrings and threw them in the water, and watched them sink.

The one person that loved me, left me all by myself.
Without my Mother, there's no one who loves me..
No one who can. I had waited ten years, no one came. It's just me.

I took the knife, and had it glide down my arm, to the end of the palm of my hand.
I watched the blood come out, and drip down.
It hurt, well I thought it was hurting, but I couldn't feel its pain, because I've already been in pain, so much pain, for so long. I can't really feel it; I know it probably hurts though.

I wiped my arm across my dress, then I took the knife and cut my shoulder, all the way down to my elbow, my tears where still flowing, but I could no longer feel the wetness dropping off my face.

And that's when I met... her.

"Why are you covering yourself in your own blood, and staining such a pretty dress?"

I turned my head to see who had said that, and I pointed my knife in the direction as well, I guess you could say, I was desperate, I just wanted to die, and I was going to hurt anyone who stopped me. I knew no one would stop me, I just wished for it...

I dropped the knife when I saw the woman...
She was so beautiful...
She had long, thin, black hair, it looked so silky, and her skin was so pale, it's like looking at a dead person, a beautifully dead, yet seemingly alive.

"Well? Are you going to tell me or not?" she said.

"I've been suffering...For about ten years now. I can't do it anymore. My Mother killed herself, because she couldn't stand watching people treat me badly anymore. She left me all alone; no one loves me, only she did. No one treats me nicely, only she did. There's only been one kind person to me in all ten years. And she left me. If I died, it would make so many people happy. You don't even know. I don't want to suffer anymore. I don't want to be unloved anymore. I don't want to get more rocks thrown at me. I've been waiting all my life just for one person, to treat me like she did, no one has come. I'm tired of waiting. I want to end everything..." I said.

"Your Mother sounds like a selfish, cowardly woman."

My eyes widened.

"But she was also sweet, too soft. If you can't learn how to put your fists up when you need them up, you'll get knocked down all the time."

"Who are you?" I asked.

"My name is Rossetta, may I know yours too?" she said.

"My name...is Lunette." I said.

"Why would you want to die over something like that?" She asked.

"It hurts." I said.

"That shows that we're alive." said Rossetta.

"It hurts so much. Why would you ask me such a question? Isn't it obvious?" I asked.

"Yes but...you wish to be loved right?" I asked.

"Yeah...I wish the world would just love me and stop calling me names. I wish people would learn to accept things that are different." I said.

"Be the change you want to see in the world. Death is only a solution to a coward. Don't be a coward. Be brave, like you have been fourteen years. Also, learn to defend yourself, quit letting people knock you down, it's pathetic. Fight back." said Rossetta.

"...How?" I said.

"Show them, that you won’t just let them throw things at you and treat you with such disrespect. Show them what they'll get if they do. Smack them back, throw one back. Even if you get in trouble, they’re getting what they very well deserve. You see, it's like whatever they're throwing at you, you throw back. They throw rocks, you throw them back. They give you a hug, you give one back. Each is getting what they deserve." said Rossetta.

"I'm not a bad person...yet they call me all those names...just because I have silver hair and red eyes. I hate it. I hate them." I said.

I could see her eyes widen, she turned towards me, and came off the rock and looked into my eyes.

My eyes went wide, her eyes...they were light blue with red in them, but when she blinked they were completely red, I was shocked, but when she blinked again, they were light blue with red. It was like a pure ocean being tainted with someone's blood.

"What...are-?

"You?" She said finishing my sentence.

"I told you, my name is Rossetta. And my last name is Thorn." said Rossetta.

"Yes but..."

"What names do they call you?" asked Rossetta.

"Monster, beast, freak....they tell me to go die." I said.

"Hunters call me that...." she mumbled.

"Who are the hunters?" I asked.

"None of your business. Just people like you have calling me names, with weapons that could kill a human with one hit." she said sighing.

"But I've lived a life full of blood, violence, and such, it doesn't have what you have." she said.

"And what's that?" I asked not understand what she means.

"Blood." she said.

"Blood?" I asked.

"Yeah, how often have you seen it?" she asked.

"When I get a cut...when my brother beat me...when they hung themselves..." she said.

"You see, that's not as often as I've seen it, and when I see it, it's pouring out, but anyways..." she said.

My jaw dropped.

She blinked, "What?"

"Nothing, I give up." I said.

"You have a heartbeat, a heart that makes your blood warm... If you were cold blooded I'd understand better. Why aren't you a vampire like me? You couldn't possibly be a half vampire." she said.

"I'm just a monster...who's given up." I said, bending down to get the knife, she knocked it out of my hand, and grabbed my hand.

"If you want to die so badly, why don't you just let me suck every last drop of your blood?" she said.

My eyes were wide; she licked the blood from my cut, the one on my arm that's from the top to my palm.

I saw her teeth, as she opened her mouth widely, and then close it slightly, piercing her teeth into my skin on my wrist slightly.

The sharp pain startled me.

Her eyes looked at me, they were red.

"I think..I made a mistake." I said then hiccupped.

She sat back, and smiled.

"I shouldn't be making any mistakes..." I said.

"The person, who doesn't make mistakes, is unlikely to make anything big in life." said Rossetta.

"Maybe I should be following you in your path..." I said.

"Don't follow me, I'm lost too. Create your own path, I've created my own. I create more as I go, but I'm still a bit lost on which way I want to go next, which way is best for me. And honestly, I haven't ended up anywhere great." said Rossetta.

"I'm nice...yet they still hate me." I said.

"Lunette, Don't let the facts get in the way of the truth. That's something you'll hopefully learn when you fall in love with someone who might not be, someone that people approve of. Just giving you some random future advice" said Rossetta.

"What makes you keep going in life?" I asked looking up at her.

"Lunette, when you feel like giving up remember why you held on for so long in the first place. That's what I do. Oh, and also the fact that I live forever, makes me realize what a pain it is. But...there will be another time when you'll feel like shit, and you will want to give up on life and everything else. When that day arrives, like it did today, save yourself some trouble and don't do a thing, just take a nap." she said.

"A nap..?" I said blinking.

"Yeah, sometimes it helps a lot more then picking up a knife and slicing your skin." she said.

"Do you do that?" I asked.

"No, I just close my eyes and think or drift. I can't fall asleep like you can. Because I'm a vampire, I live forever...and well, yeah." she said.

"That sounds painful...living forever, If you don't have someone to spend it with." I said.

"Would I be that beautiful, like you, I if I was one too?" I asked.

"You are beautiful, but if you mean have dead skin like me, I guess so then, do you want to be one too?" asked Rossetta.

"No. Even if I got to be as beautiful as you, the idea of living forever sounds just too painful. I already have no one, having no one forever, having nothing good forever, nothing that lasts with me forever... I don't want to be a vampire. Beauty doesn't make the suffering any better." I said.

Rossetta smiled.

"I like you Lunette. You’re a smart girl." said Rossetta.

I blinked.

"Of course when I say I like you, I mean in a non lesbian way of course." Said Rossetta.

"What's a lesbian?" I asked.

"Oh my god. You have much to learn. I'd think you'd know by now, I found out when I was eight." said Rossetta.

"Tell me?" I asked.

"No." she said.

"Now, go home, and get cleaned, up, and cover up those deep cuts. Make sure to wash all the blood off." said Rossetta.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you’re making me very hungry. All that blood dripping off you is making me want to slam my teeth into your neck to suck out every drop of that delicious blood coming out." said Rossetta.

"You’re scaring me!" I said.

"Well GOOD, it's about DAMN time. I stuck my damn teeth into your stupid skin and you still didn't run!" she said.

I looked at her.

She began to laugh.

'Why are you laughing?" I asked.

"You look terrified." said Rossetta and she started laughing more.

I smiled, then laughed too.

"I think you’re what I've been waiting for." I said.

"hm?"

"A good friend. You are nice, honest...and I hope we can be friends forever." I said.

"Forever is a long time Lunette, and also you don't live forever, only a mere hundred years. Which feel so short to me, but I will be your good friend for those short years. I have to leave home now. I don't live here in the country." said Rossetta standing up.

"Will I get to see you again? My friend Rossetta Thorn?" I asked.

She smiled.

"Just call me Rossetta. I hope I see you again someday. Good bye Lunette. I love that name by the way..." said Rossetta, then she turned and ran. She was gone from my sight in seconds.

"I love your gentle voice." I said.
-------------------------------------------------

Now I'm twenty-three, and I'm driving out of the country, and to a place I hope I can find her.
My amazing, best friend Rossetta…

She taught me a lot of things that time, and a lot of valuable lessons.
I miss her so much.

"Rossetta, your best friend Lunette misses you." I said while driving. I turned on some music and let my mind wander.

I hope she’s doing well.