Baby All I Want for Christmas Is You
The Letter
24.12.2007
“Dear G,
I guess the first thought that will cross your mind when you get this letter, will be why? Why am I writing? A very good question indeed, since it is a mystery to even myself. Maybe I’m writing to tell you that you’re still the one who keeps me awake at night. To let you know that your spot is still empty next to me, as it also is in my heart. As time passed, I realized that your parents were just trying to do what was best for you. They really thought that Lyndsey was the one you needed at that time. And you accepted. I understand that, but you must also understand, and allow me the anger and bitterness I felt after I heard about your choice. Think about it reversed. What if I would’ve come home to you one night just to tell you that I’m leaving you, and marrying someone else? If you cared about me at least a little bit, you would be angry and hurt. Trust me on this one, since I happen to be the one with firsthand experience of that. I’m rambling, yes, but this isn’t that easy. We haven’t talked in more than two years. I still remember the last time that I heard from you, and that was through a wedding invitation. Don’t you think that that is a bit harsh? Did you honestly think I’d come? I might sound bitter, but no, I’m not anymore. I’ve forgiven you, and therefore thought that maybe it would be time for me to ask for forgiveness as well. I know I said some really horrible things that night, but try to understand it. Try to think of things from my point of view, and maybe you will. I want you to know, that one day, if you can forgive me, you can come back. Honestly, I do wish you and Lyndsey the best of luck, I want you to be happy. But if for some reason, you aren’t, I just wanted you to know that you’ve still got a choice. I’ll leave the light on for you, so that you’ll find me if you want to. If you’re happy, like I sincerely hope you are, then just ignore this letter, and forget me. I think that’s the best for both of us since we both know that we couldn’t be just friend.
Yours always,
Frankie “
I lay the weathered and already a bit torn pieces of paper on the bench beside me. Almost a year had passed since I received the letter. No matter how much I would’ve wanted to, I hadn’t been able to answer. My parents had really wanted me and Lyndsey to work out, and I had promised them to try. I wasn’t the one to give up too easily. Though I had. I had given up on the best thing that ever had existed in my life. But now I was here to try to get that back. Frank had promised to wait for me. But would he still be waiting? After all this time? I glanced up at the small house across the street. It’s wooden wall planks had been painted green, but a lot of time had passed since. Even in the blackness of the night you could see how old the house was. The door was bright red though, probably recently painted, with a small silver plate nailed onto it. From this far I couldn’t read the text that was carved on it. Was this even Frank’s house? What if he had got tired of waiting for me, and left to leave the memories behind?
The small golden star that twinkled in the window gave me hope though. Hadn’t Frank promised to leave a light for me? I knew I had to go closer, I had to make sure. Gathering my courage I stood up and slowly crossed the street. As I crept closer to the house a light switched on on the yard. It made me jump until I noticed it was one of those automatic ones which turn on when you come close enough. It was sad to realize how nervous I was about meeting Frank. That wasn’t an emotion that I could’ve linked to him before. Being with his was like being with a family member, but just better. I had always been able to be myself, when I had been around him. The time had made Frank almost a stranger to me.
My lips curled into an unconscious smile as the words on the door plate caught my eye. “Welcome home”, someone, most probably Frankie, had carved on it. That already made me feel so much better. Thanks to those two words I raised my hand and lightly knocked on the door. If Frank hadn’t changed too much, he would still be awake, even though the moon was already bright in the sky.
Soon enough, I heard someone’s footsteps and the handle turned. The butterflies in my stomach went wild. Now the time was here. Finally.
“Yes?” an unfamiliar voice interrupted my dreaming. The smile fell off my face as I realized the truth. This was the wrong house.
“I’m sorry”, I stuttered, “I was looking for Frank. Iero. I must’ve accidentally knocked on the wrong door. I’m so, so sorry”, I rambled, with my gaze on the ground.
“No it’s the right place”, the guy said and opened the door wider. Was this Frank’s new boyfriend? The relief of his words didn’t last long as this new, unsettling thought reached my mind.
I didn’t have much time to worry though, since the strange man was already bellowing for Frank.
“There’s someone here for you”, he shouted as he let me in.
“It’s okay, I can come back later if you guys are busy”, I said quickly. I was beyond scared now.
“Nah you didn’t interrupt. We’re just hanging out”, the boy said with a lazy smile. “I’m Brendon, by the way”, he said and stretched out his hand.
“I’m Gerard Way”, I said and shook it. The look on his face wasn’t exactly one to console my nerves.
“Are you serious?” he gaped at me with his eyes wide. “I’ve heard so much about you. Ooh Frank will be pleased”, he giggled and winked at me. I was starting to like this guy. By now I was quiet sure that he wasn’t Frank’s boyfriend. But who knew? And where was Frank?
“Who is it?” Frank’s familiar voice made me jump again. He finally reached the front hall and was about to come closer when he saw me, and stopped.
“Gee?” he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. I couldn’t read his eyes. Was he relieved? Angry? Happy? All I wanted was to run towards him and get him back into my arms where he belonged, but I didn’t dare. It seemed right that the first move would be from his side. Looking a little dazed, Frank took a few steps towards me.
“It’s me”, I said softly. There was only a few meters separating us now, and Frank crossed those in a second.
“I can’t believe it”, he cried as I felt his arms around me. A smile spread on my face and I threw my around him as well.
“I can’t believe you’re here”, he repeated, and this time it was certain that his eyes were full of only happiness.
“I can’t believe it either”, I said, still smiling. We both just stared into each others eyes for a while, unable to turn away. Frank broke the silence first.
“Why did you come?”
“Didn’t you want me to?” I asked, worry creeping back into my voice.
“I did. I really, really did. I just wanted to know if… well if you came to be my friend?” his voice sounded shy.
“Didn’t you say that would be impossible?” I answered, my eyes twinkling.
“Oh Gee!” Frank shrieked happily, and hugged me tighter. I leaned closer, and carefully, brushed his lips with mine.
“I am so happy you came”, Frank mumbled into my ear.
“I had to. I love you”, I whispered back.
“After all this time? It’d be hard to believe unless I knew that I also still love you.” The moment was perfect, better than I had imagined. Neither of us even noticed Brendon sneaking out of the door.
Later that night, as we were cuddling on his couch, Frank voiced something that seemed to have bothered him for a long time already.
“So, you and Lyndsey… Are you guys- ?” He asked quietly.
“It’s over”, I confirmed. A relieved smile spread over his face.
“Of course it’s wrong to be happy about that, but I can’t help it”, he admitted.
“Don’t feel bad about it. I’m relieved too. We were never meant to be together”, I said.
“But we were”, Frank grinned and kissed me again.
“I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
Just as I was falling asleep a gust of warm air into my ear shook me awake.
“You’re the best Christmas present that anyone could’ve brought me.” My tired eyes saw the time on the clock on the wall. 00:01. Christmas had crept unto us. I hadn’t noticed but apparently Frank had.
“You too darling, you too.” When I fell asleep in his arms I knew I had made the right choice.
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is you…”
“Dear G,
I guess the first thought that will cross your mind when you get this letter, will be why? Why am I writing? A very good question indeed, since it is a mystery to even myself. Maybe I’m writing to tell you that you’re still the one who keeps me awake at night. To let you know that your spot is still empty next to me, as it also is in my heart. As time passed, I realized that your parents were just trying to do what was best for you. They really thought that Lyndsey was the one you needed at that time. And you accepted. I understand that, but you must also understand, and allow me the anger and bitterness I felt after I heard about your choice. Think about it reversed. What if I would’ve come home to you one night just to tell you that I’m leaving you, and marrying someone else? If you cared about me at least a little bit, you would be angry and hurt. Trust me on this one, since I happen to be the one with firsthand experience of that. I’m rambling, yes, but this isn’t that easy. We haven’t talked in more than two years. I still remember the last time that I heard from you, and that was through a wedding invitation. Don’t you think that that is a bit harsh? Did you honestly think I’d come? I might sound bitter, but no, I’m not anymore. I’ve forgiven you, and therefore thought that maybe it would be time for me to ask for forgiveness as well. I know I said some really horrible things that night, but try to understand it. Try to think of things from my point of view, and maybe you will. I want you to know, that one day, if you can forgive me, you can come back. Honestly, I do wish you and Lyndsey the best of luck, I want you to be happy. But if for some reason, you aren’t, I just wanted you to know that you’ve still got a choice. I’ll leave the light on for you, so that you’ll find me if you want to. If you’re happy, like I sincerely hope you are, then just ignore this letter, and forget me. I think that’s the best for both of us since we both know that we couldn’t be just friend.
Yours always,
Frankie “
I lay the weathered and already a bit torn pieces of paper on the bench beside me. Almost a year had passed since I received the letter. No matter how much I would’ve wanted to, I hadn’t been able to answer. My parents had really wanted me and Lyndsey to work out, and I had promised them to try. I wasn’t the one to give up too easily. Though I had. I had given up on the best thing that ever had existed in my life. But now I was here to try to get that back. Frank had promised to wait for me. But would he still be waiting? After all this time? I glanced up at the small house across the street. It’s wooden wall planks had been painted green, but a lot of time had passed since. Even in the blackness of the night you could see how old the house was. The door was bright red though, probably recently painted, with a small silver plate nailed onto it. From this far I couldn’t read the text that was carved on it. Was this even Frank’s house? What if he had got tired of waiting for me, and left to leave the memories behind?
The small golden star that twinkled in the window gave me hope though. Hadn’t Frank promised to leave a light for me? I knew I had to go closer, I had to make sure. Gathering my courage I stood up and slowly crossed the street. As I crept closer to the house a light switched on on the yard. It made me jump until I noticed it was one of those automatic ones which turn on when you come close enough. It was sad to realize how nervous I was about meeting Frank. That wasn’t an emotion that I could’ve linked to him before. Being with his was like being with a family member, but just better. I had always been able to be myself, when I had been around him. The time had made Frank almost a stranger to me.
My lips curled into an unconscious smile as the words on the door plate caught my eye. “Welcome home”, someone, most probably Frankie, had carved on it. That already made me feel so much better. Thanks to those two words I raised my hand and lightly knocked on the door. If Frank hadn’t changed too much, he would still be awake, even though the moon was already bright in the sky.
Soon enough, I heard someone’s footsteps and the handle turned. The butterflies in my stomach went wild. Now the time was here. Finally.
“Yes?” an unfamiliar voice interrupted my dreaming. The smile fell off my face as I realized the truth. This was the wrong house.
“I’m sorry”, I stuttered, “I was looking for Frank. Iero. I must’ve accidentally knocked on the wrong door. I’m so, so sorry”, I rambled, with my gaze on the ground.
“No it’s the right place”, the guy said and opened the door wider. Was this Frank’s new boyfriend? The relief of his words didn’t last long as this new, unsettling thought reached my mind.
I didn’t have much time to worry though, since the strange man was already bellowing for Frank.
“There’s someone here for you”, he shouted as he let me in.
“It’s okay, I can come back later if you guys are busy”, I said quickly. I was beyond scared now.
“Nah you didn’t interrupt. We’re just hanging out”, the boy said with a lazy smile. “I’m Brendon, by the way”, he said and stretched out his hand.
“I’m Gerard Way”, I said and shook it. The look on his face wasn’t exactly one to console my nerves.
“Are you serious?” he gaped at me with his eyes wide. “I’ve heard so much about you. Ooh Frank will be pleased”, he giggled and winked at me. I was starting to like this guy. By now I was quiet sure that he wasn’t Frank’s boyfriend. But who knew? And where was Frank?
“Who is it?” Frank’s familiar voice made me jump again. He finally reached the front hall and was about to come closer when he saw me, and stopped.
“Gee?” he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. I couldn’t read his eyes. Was he relieved? Angry? Happy? All I wanted was to run towards him and get him back into my arms where he belonged, but I didn’t dare. It seemed right that the first move would be from his side. Looking a little dazed, Frank took a few steps towards me.
“It’s me”, I said softly. There was only a few meters separating us now, and Frank crossed those in a second.
“I can’t believe it”, he cried as I felt his arms around me. A smile spread on my face and I threw my around him as well.
“I can’t believe you’re here”, he repeated, and this time it was certain that his eyes were full of only happiness.
“I can’t believe it either”, I said, still smiling. We both just stared into each others eyes for a while, unable to turn away. Frank broke the silence first.
“Why did you come?”
“Didn’t you want me to?” I asked, worry creeping back into my voice.
“I did. I really, really did. I just wanted to know if… well if you came to be my friend?” his voice sounded shy.
“Didn’t you say that would be impossible?” I answered, my eyes twinkling.
“Oh Gee!” Frank shrieked happily, and hugged me tighter. I leaned closer, and carefully, brushed his lips with mine.
“I am so happy you came”, Frank mumbled into my ear.
“I had to. I love you”, I whispered back.
“After all this time? It’d be hard to believe unless I knew that I also still love you.” The moment was perfect, better than I had imagined. Neither of us even noticed Brendon sneaking out of the door.
Later that night, as we were cuddling on his couch, Frank voiced something that seemed to have bothered him for a long time already.
“So, you and Lyndsey… Are you guys- ?” He asked quietly.
“It’s over”, I confirmed. A relieved smile spread over his face.
“Of course it’s wrong to be happy about that, but I can’t help it”, he admitted.
“Don’t feel bad about it. I’m relieved too. We were never meant to be together”, I said.
“But we were”, Frank grinned and kissed me again.
“I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
Just as I was falling asleep a gust of warm air into my ear shook me awake.
“You’re the best Christmas present that anyone could’ve brought me.” My tired eyes saw the time on the clock on the wall. 00:01. Christmas had crept unto us. I hadn’t noticed but apparently Frank had.
“You too darling, you too.” When I fell asleep in his arms I knew I had made the right choice.
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is you…”
♠ ♠ ♠
Just a quick oneshot. I haven´t written in a very long time, so it might not be that great. But i enjoyed writing it anyhow. Please comment if you read it. :)