Spring Awakening

“I can't believe I'm looking at the same girl I met in seventh grade!” my best friend Anna exclaimed.

I smiled and fixed my eyeliner. She was right. I had changed a lot. I finally got the nose job I had always said I would, I changed the way I dressed, and I had finally reached the weight I wanted, so I now had more self-confidence.

Anna hadn't changed much since high school. She stopped wearing so many t-shirts and had gotten way more headstrong. That explained how she was in my dressing room on the opening night of Spring Awakening.

I put on some more lipstick and thought about how far I had come. Ten years ago, my family was poor, I was cast in small roles in my high school plays, and I had given up all hope of being in any type of theater production after graduation. But one night in the summer before junior year, that all changed. My dad had bought a lottery ticket on a whim and my family miraculously won.

Now, it wasn't anything special, definitely not the jackpot. But we did win enough to never have to worry about money again. I was able to start taking dance lessons, which helped me lose weight. I quickly reached a weight I was satisfied with. I gained self-confidence, which showed when I auditioned for plays. Soon, I was getting leads.

The best part, though, was that after I finished junior year, my mom said I could apply to Columbia, my dream school, in New York City. I did, and another miracle happened. I was accepted. Two years after I graduated, I went to an audition for the reopening of Spring Awakening on Broadway.

I was cast as Wendla Bergmann, the female lead, and eighteen months and about a million rehearsals later, it was opening night.

“Okay, Logan, I should go, I need to find my seat. Break a leg!”

“Thanks! I hope you enjoy it.”

I had a million butterflies in my stomach, but I ignored them and gave 110% on stage. When I went on stage, I wasn't Logan, I was Wendla. I wasn't on a stage in New York City; I was in a small town in Germany. There weren't thousands of people in the room; it was just Melchior and me.

During the curtain call, I was smiling more than I ever had before and we even got a standing ovation.

Anna was waiting in my dressing room with a huge smile on her face.

“That was amazing!” She gushed. “Way better than anything in high school.”

“I'm glad Columbia taught me something,” I said laughing.

When I changed back into street clothes, we left through the back door. There was a guy waiting outside, probably about four years older than Anna and I.

“Logan Brooks?” he asked with a slight German accent. I had changed my last name after high school.

“Yeah, that's me,” I said, smiling faintly.

“My brother and I made a bet. He said that I couldn't meet you and get your autograph. Do you mind helping me win fifty dollars?”

“No, I don't mind. What do you need me to do?”

“Just sign my program and take a picture.”

“Okay, you got a pen?”

He produced one out of his impossibly tight jeans and gave it to me.

I signed the program and posed for the picture. “There, now you're fifty bucks richer. Don't spend it all in one place,” I joked.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you? I understand if you're busy though.”
I turned to Anna and opened my eyes wide, giving her the look.

“Go ahead,” she said, comprehending what I was wordlessly trying to tell her. “I'll just text Andrei.” Andrei was the name of her hot Bulgarian boyfriend.

“Did you like the musical?” I asked the man.

“Yeah, I did. Have you been in Broadway plays before this? You seemed very natural.”
“No, Spring Awakening is my first. However, I’ve been in several plays and musicals in my high school and our auditorium was very large. Plus, I’ve performed at smaller theaters when I was in college. What was your favorite part of the show?”

“I liked when Georg fantasizes about his piano teacher. Probably because I have a friend named Georg who was sitting next to me and he’s fun to tease,” a smirk appeared on the man’s face.

The conversation progressed and touched on topics such as favorite music, favorite movies, and the like. We had a surprising amount of things in common.

After one very funny story about his friend Georg, I burst out laughing.

“Oh my God, I feel like I've known you for years and I still don't know your name!” I exclaimed.

“It's Bill. Bill Kaulitz.”

I pretty much creamed my pants right then and there. Metaphorically of course.

Bill Kaulitz was the name of the lead singer of Tokio Hotel, my favorite band since eighth grade. When I was 18, they suddenly called it quits. Bill told the press that the fame was too much, too overwhelming. They stopped playing concerts and only released a few songs a year via an underground music site. Three years ago, they stopped releasing music all together.

He looked the same, except for some differences. He had cut his hair shorter and toned down the makeup. He still wore black nail polish, tight jeans, and jewelry. I should've known he would've moved to New York City or Los Angeles. He was too famous in Europe to stay there and his favorite American cities were NYC and LA.

“You were a fan of Tokio Hotel,” he said laughing.

“What? How do you know that?”

“Your face said it all. I should go. My brother will be wondering where I've been. It's been nice talking to you though.”

He pulled out the pen I used to sign his program and turned to a center page. He scribbled something on it and then ripped out the page. He handed it to me with a smile. “Call me sometime if you want to finish this conversation or start a new one. Auf wiedersehen.” He melted into the crowd of New York City, leaving me dumbstruck.

“Wait...did that just happen?”

Anna burst out laughing. “C'mon Logan. You can think that one over in the car.”
I took her advice and thought about it the entire way to Anna's house in Connecticut.
“I'm gonna call him.” I said as I followed her inside.

“Now?” she asked, going into her kitchen and pulling out a mug and powdered cocoa. Anna had an obsession with hot chocolate in the winter.

“Why not?”

“You just saw him. Wait a few days.”

“What if, I don't know, Jon walker gave you his number? Wouldn't you want to call him right away?”

Anna laughed. “He's like 35 now. And I've ignored his existence since sophomore year in high school. I wouldn't care if I got his number.”

I glared at her.

“Okay, okay, if the object of my affection for 12 years gave me his number, I'd want to call him too. But you don't want to seem to eager or desperate. Wait two days minimum. Let him wonder if you still want to talk to him. Let him doubt himself. Call him in three or four days.”
I guess you're right. What do I do in the meantime?”

“Rehearse for Spring Awakening. Do not let him distract you from the show.”

Four days of pure, unadulterated agony passed by before I typed Bill Kaulitz's precious digits into my phone.

“Hallo?”

“Hello, Bill? This is Logan.”

“Logan, I was wondering when you'd call.”

“I was busy with Spring Awakening.”

“Ah. By any chance, are you free next week?”

“Hold on, let me check my schedule.” I really didn't need to check my schedule, I was just trying to play it cool so he didn't think I was desperate, like Anna said. “I'm free on Tuesday.”

“Would you like to meet me for a coffee? I know a quaint little coffee shop on Broadway, between Broome and Grand Street. It's called Starbucks.”

I laughed with him. “That sounds nice. What time?”

“Is three pm good?”

“Yeah, it's fine. I'll see you then.”

We didn't talk much in between that conversation and the date. Tuesday took forever to come, but when it did, the time past quickly.

As I walked in, I spotted Bill sitting at a table tucked away in the corner of the store. I ordered my usual, a white chocolate mocha, and joined him.

“Hey there,” I said, smiling.

“Hallo Logan,” he said, smiling in return.

“What have you been up to the past few days?”

“Not too much. I’ve been clubbing and writing.”

“Songs?”

“Yeah, I can’t stop, even though these songs will never see the light of day.”

“That’s a pity. Why did you stop? I mean, the real reason, not the story you told the media.”

“What I told the press wasn’t a story. It was the truth. Everyone wants to be famous when they’re little. And when you are famous, it’s awesome. But after a while, you just want to be yourself, without people dissecting your every move. I became claustrophobic. I couldn’t take the flashing lights, the screaming fans, the fame. I just shut down.”

Bill took a deep breath and continued. “Tom saw what was happening, and he said that if we didn’t call it quits, he would leave. I wouldn’t do play without him, so I said I would leave too. Georg said that they couldn’t carry on without us, half our fans only cared that Tom and I were hot.”

I laughed. “Probably more than half.”

He smiled and nodded. “Tom and I cut our hair. We moved to America where people wouldn't recognize us as easily. We’ve made enough money so that we don’t need to work, at least for a few more years. By then, it’ll be safe enough to move back to Germany and get a job. Maybe we could start a new band, on the side, not as a job.”

I nodded. “But until then…?”

“We’ll stay in New York. I like it here,” he said smiling.

“I can’t believe I actually got to meet you. It’s surreal.”

“I can’t believe I actually got to meet you. You’re pretty special yourself.”

Time seemed to move in slow motion as our heads moved closer. Our lips touched and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. My lips opened slowly and he took that as an invitation to start making out with me. Oh God, he still has his tongue piercing, oh God, it feels amazing.

And, too soon, he pulled away.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me!” he apologized. “You’re probably disgusted with me or think I’m a pig. I understand.”

I laughed. “No, no, it’s okay. I liked it.”

“Well, I just want you to know, I’m not usually one who does something like that. I hate one night stands and things of that nature. I believe in true love, a love that you only find once in a lifetime.”

I smiled and took his hand in mine. “Me too. Maybe, I could be that person. Maybe I’m not. But I’d like to try and find out.”

He grinned. “I’d like that too.”