Amped Up: Why Is My Name Jason?

Thanksgiving came and the note was still in my possession. I hadn’t yet gotten the chance to give it to my father. When the time came for dinner, I looked over at my aunt and knew what I needed to do. Just before my father sat down, I snuck over and slid the note underneath his plate. The moment my father removes his plate, he’ll see the note and read it. Hopefully, the note will help my father realize that playing Lovebug is the right thing for him to do. I don’t know what I’d do if my father’s stubbornness caused me to lose the connection I have to my mother. She, for seventeen long years, was only able to speak with her sister. Then, when I played the Lovebug CD, she appeared before me to help me deal with the fact that my father ignored me because of her. Now, there was a chance of me losing that link at the end of the year because my father refused to play Lovebug for her.

As I waited for my father to find the note, I glanced over at my mother’s ghost who was standing just behind my father with her hands on his shoulders. Dad wouldn’t notice though; his stubborn attitude wouldn’t let him become aware of the fact that Mom was back there. “Mom, I really hope this works. I don’t want to lose the link I have to you.”

“I know, Jason. It’s just that it all depends on your father. Kevin must play Lovebug in order for me to stick around. Of course, as everyone except Garrett and Madison know, your father will never play that song…not so long as it reminds him of what happened on his twenty-second birthday. There’s a little over a month until I lose the connection to you and Betsy if Kevin doesn’t play Lovebug. Of course, if he does agree to play Lovebug for me, I’ll be able to remain here for quite awhile talking to you, Betsy, and Kevin. I wish I could talk to Nick and Joe as well, but that isn’t going to happen; I can only speak with you, your father, and my younger sister,” my mother said quietly.

I nodded. “I know.”

Once everyone was seated and grace was said, I purposely removed my father’s plate so that he would see the note. He did and pulled it off the table. “Betsy, what is this?”

My aunt glanced over at me. “Just read it, Kevin.”

He opened it and, after taking a few minutes to read the letter, stood up suddenly. “Betsy! Jason! Other room, now!” my father yelled angrily. “You two have a lot of explaining to do.” He went into the other room and waited for me and my aunt to go in there.

We went into the other room where my father was sitting. Aunt Lizz was the first to speak. “Kevin, don’t even start. We all know what the note said. And the fact is that it’s true. My sister can speak to you. Of course, since you’ve refused to play Lovebug for my sister, there’s a chance that I can lose the connection I’ve had to my sister from the moment she died. Would you really take that away from me when I helped you raise your kids?”

My father rolled his eyes. “Betsy, I can’t bring myself to play Lovebug ever again…even if it is for your sister. Lovebug was the one song that I played a mandolin in and, as I’m sure you remember since you were the one to write that during the live chat, it was my nickname for your sister. Since Nick and Joe always joked about the fact that I was in love with a musical instrument, mandolin became her nickname. When she died, I couldn’t bring myself to play the song because of the nickname I had for her. I was the one person allowed to call her that and, the moment she died, I lost that. Playing Lovebug will just remind me of that.” He glared at me. “And as for you, Jason, you were never supposed to hear that song. Your aunt and uncles were never supposed to let you hear Lovebug.”

“Dad!” I yelled angrily. “Were you even paying attention to what I wrote in the letter? You shouldn’t be hiding from the song or keeping me, Garrett, and Maddie from hearing it. Neither Garrett nor Madison is aware of the song. The only thing they care about is their social lives. As for me, to quote one of your own songs I just want to Play my music.” Maybe quoting my father’s song would help him to realize that I was the only one like him and his brother; I deserved to hear my father’s song just like my mother obviously did.

“I’m not playing it, Jason. I won’t play Lovebug,” my father said.

“No!” I heard Mom yell.

“Kevin!” my aunt yelled. “You have no idea what you’re doing. You need to play Lovebug for my sister. If you read the note, you’d understand just how much Amanda needs to hear that song. She loses the connection to us if you don’t play it by the time the New Year occurs.”

“Not caring right now. Maybe then you’ll understand how I felt for the past seventeen years,” my father retorted. “Betsy, you spent all that time talking to Mandolin without caring that I couldn’t do the same. How do you think that made me feel, knowing that my wife’s sister could speak to her, but I couldn’t? I hated it. And now, the one son she named, the one that constantly reminds me of what Mandolin did, can speak to her when I can’t. That isn’t right. I only got to spend a few months with her because of filming Camp Rock 2 while she was in the middle of the pregnancy. So, I think you should know what it’s like to not be able to speak with her for awhile. Then you’ll understand.”

“But, Kevin,” my aunt objected. “If you do that to us, you’ll never be able to speak with her ever. The moment midnight passes on New Year’s without you playing Lovebug, Amanda crosses over to be with our parents. She’ll never be able to come back.”

“I need to hear it from Mandolin. Oh, wait…I can’t. My son caused her to die and, for seventeen long years, I’ve been unable to see the love of my life. I hate that. So, I’m not playing the song. I won’t ever play Lovebug for her,” my father yelled. “The last time it was played, my mother had to force me to play it. Well, that isn’t going to happen again.”

I groaned. No luck, Mom.

Within moments, I felt my mother’s hands on my shoulders. She began whispering in my ear, telling me what to say to my father to convince him to play the song. I nodded. “Paul Kevin Jonas II!” I yelled angrily. “You are playing the song for Mom. No matter what you may say, I am not about to let you just let Mom disappear out of our lives because you don’t want to be reminded of the fact that your wife died on your twenty-second birthday. The fact is that playing Lovebug will give you the opportunity to speak with her. You’ll finally be able to see her after seventeen long years.” Mom had whispered all of this to me, hoping that I would repeat it. I did and put particular emphasis on Lovebug and what would happen if he did what we asked of him. He needed to understand that and let me continue communicating with my mother; I wasn’t about to let my father do something like this. He was doing this to spite us because he couldn’t see her for seventeen long years. Well it wasn’t like he couldn’t; he could. He just refused to do what was asked of him in order for him to acquire the ability to speak with Mom’s ghost.

“Jason!” my father yelled once he heard what I said to him. “Don’t you ever call me by my full name! That right is reserved for your uncles, Betsy, and your mother. Which, by the way…Mandolin, you’re not going to be able to convince me to play Lovebug by communicating to me through our son. It won’t work. I refuse to play the song, no matter what; even if you want me to, I won’t, not after what you put me through for seventeen long years. I’m sorry, Mandolin, but I won’t play Lovebug for you. I just won’t.”

“Dad! You idiot!” I screamed.

Before I could finish screaming at my father, he walked out of the room. Aunt Lizz groaned. “Kevin is being a complete idiot. Even after reading the note, he won’t play the song.”

“The good thing,” my mother said, “is that Kevin has no clue as to the fact that Jason is learning how to play the song. So long as Kevin remains blissfully unaware of that, we might still have a chance at doing this within the next month. That might be our last shot at ensuring that Kevin does what we want him to do and Lovebug is played by the end of the year. I don’t want to disappear from your lives, especially yours, Jason. You got to spend the least amount of time with me. Of course, the moment you played that Lovebug CD, you ensured that you would be able to speak with me for however short a time.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged.

“Trust me, Jason. This will work,” my mother said. “I’ve done everything in my power to ensure that your father will play Lovebug for me. Unfortunately, you must now take over and there’s really no way to know for sure as to whether or not you will succeed as I can do nothing more to help you and Betsy ensure that I remain around for a very long time.”

“I know, Mom,” I said.

Aunt Lizz took one look at my mother before turning to me. “Jason, we should probably go back to dinner. Your father, I think, is getting bugged by the fact that we’re in here talking about this. He is fully aware of the fact that you were the one Amanda’s gift was passed to and Kevin hates it. Despite the fact that he now knows that he can communicate with my sister, Kevin still won’t do it because of the seventeen years in which he couldn’t speak with her. Kevin just doesn’t seem to understand how unprovoked his disdain for Amanda’s favorite song really is; it’s just like my irrational fear of spiders.”

“You have an irrational fear of spiders?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yeah, it’s actually how I met Teddy. For my sweet sixteen, Joe’s gift to me was gaining the opportunity to meet Teddy. It was done in a way that I would get over my feelings for Joe. Of course, I definitely didn’t see it that way because he was dressed up as a spider and holding an apple pie: two of my least favorite things. What Joe and my sister did for me eventually led to me becoming Mrs. John Theodore (Teddy) Geiger II just as my sister became Mrs. Paul Kevin Jonas II on Valentine’s Day of 2009,” my aunt explained. She sighed. “That might be why your father never married again. Valentine’s Day was their wedding day and, as Valentine’s Day was always considered to be the most romantic day of the year—something of which your father is known for—Kevin could never bring himself to get over her death or love anyone other than your mother.”

“Did my father ever have any irrational fears?” I asked.

Aunt Lizz smiled. “Fruit. Your father has always claimed to be allergic to fruit…particularly bananas. He can’t stand the smell of bananas. That may give us the chance we need. If you and I are to ensure that your father plays Lovebug for Amanda, all we may need is a banana. Kevin won’t know that you know this; he’d never suspect me to tell you of this.”

I sighed and remembered something. There was one thing that my aunt didn’t exactly remember. “Aunt Lizz, there aren’t any bananas in the house. If Dad doesn’t like the smell of bananas, there won’t be any in the house; he wouldn’t let you bring any. So, how are we supposed to get bananas around him if he’ll know when they’re in the house?”

“I’ll ask your uncle,” she replied.

“Joe?” I asked.

“Of course,” she replied. “As I’ve told you before, the feelings we have for each other never really disappeared. He’ll do anything to help me. Plus, since this has to do with getting Kevin to play Lovebug again, there is absolutely no way in hell that Joe would ever refuse to help me with this. He knows that getting Kevin to play Lovebug is far too important for him to refuse. The fans deserve to hear Amanda’s favorite song again.”

“I know.”

Aunt Lizz walked out to the dining room and motioned for me to follow. “Come on. Your father’s growing impatient and, if we keep him waiting any longer, there’s telling what he’ll end up doing. Amanda’s death affected him far too much and his love for her has kept him from thinking as clearly as he should. Everyone but Garrett, Madison and all of your cousins know that. In fact, it has become so evident that even the fans know.”

“Well,” I said as we sat down, “I will make sure that things change. I won’t let this continue to occur. I won’t.” I looked over at my father and knew that I could never let this continue.