Amped Up: Why Is My Name Jason?

November faded into December and I found that I was getting better at playing Lovebug. I could almost play the entire thing perfectly. Of course, that wasn’t enough. My father needed to be convinced to play Lovebug yet as I could not be the one to play it and keep the link my mother had to us going strong; that honor belonged to my father. The unfortunate thing was that I had less than a month to convince him. Dad and I haven’t had the best relationship and my siblings were proof of that; only they had a relationship with Dad, despite the fact that I’m the one interested in pursuing music just as he and everyone else in my family did before me. Why would Dad listen to me? Mom, Aunt Lizz, and my father’s brothers were comfort, but it wasn’t enough. I needed my father to listen to what I had to say. I needed him to understand that playing Lovebug was important for him…and for us.

Dad, of course, was rarely around me. He must have known that I would try and convince him to play the song for Mom. So, there wasn’t really much for me to do, but wait for Christmas to come. Christmas was the one time that I was sure my father would be around and cause me to be given the opportunity to convince Paul Kevin Jonas II to play Lovebug. I sighed as I walked into Uncle Joe’s to continue practicing. Though I may be able to nearly play it to where my father did at the moment, there were still parts of the song that I needed to perfect before playing it along with my uncle. So, I needed to go to Uncle’s Joe’s and practice.

“Ready?” Uncle Joe asked.

“I think so,” I replied.

“Good, then I think we should start,” he said.

“Um, before we do, could you tell me when we’re going to try the banana thing?” I asked. Knowing that we didn’t have very much time, I knew I had to ask this and figure out when to do this. Bananas could rot and we needed them fresh to bug my father. There would be a banana in his face every moment that he refused to play Lovebug for my mother.

“Ask Lizard. She has an idea that could work,” he replied.

“What?” I asked.

Uncle Joe laughed. “Just go ask your aunt. She didn’t tell me. Most unlike her if you ask me, but then again, she and your mother always did think that I was a bigmouth, even bigger than her. But, anyway, we need to practice the song. You’ll understand why once you talk to your aunt. That’s all I know about what Lizard has planned so I would suggest not even bothering to ask me about anything else. I wouldn’t know anything more about it.”

“Okay,” I shrugged.

With that conversation over, Uncle Joe and I continued going over the song. By the time we were finished, Uncle Joe was smiling. “Well, I think the next time you play this would have to be in front of your father. He needs to hear this. It could convince him to play Lovebug for your mother. I’m sure that Panda would love to hear you play her favorite song.”

“Yeah, maybe it will actually convince my father that he needs to play Lovebug again,” I said with a heavy sigh. “Mom really wants him to play it, but his refusal is constant. Plus, from what I’ve heard, basically everyone knows why…everyone except my siblings.”

Uncle Joe shrugged. “Garrett and Madison just don’t understand. As you’ve said in the past, they’re too self-absorbed to care about Panda. That may be why you were the one to possess her ability; you inherited her traits such as those hazel eyes as well as her personality. The musical ability you possess was the one thing that you inherited from your father other than his physical appearance, despite the fact that both your mother and father had deep brown hair and hazel eyes.”

“Huh?” I asked.

“Despite both your mother and father had the same hair and eye color, it was your mother’s eyes that you inherited, your mother’s ability, and your mother’s personality. Everything else about you reflects the spitting image of your father,” my uncle explained to me.

“Oh,” I replied. “How can you tell?”

“Because your mother always had a tell, a way of telling us that she was lying. Her eyes became forest green when it was something good that she lied about, but when it was something terrible that got lied about, her eyes turned as chocolate brown as mine are right now,” Uncle Joe told me. “It’s why you were always caught in a lie whereas your brother and sister could get away with just about anything they wanted. Whereas you inherited your mother’s hazel eyes, Garrett’s were more brown and Madison’s were more green.”

“Ass,” I murmured.

“JJ, I wouldn’t call your father that if I were you,” my uncle replied. “Though he may be acting like one, you shouldn’t be referring to your father as such. Just let it go for right now.”

“I can’t. My father has just bugged me far too much over the past seventeen years. Mom’s death is something that neither one of us can get over; my father lost her the day I was born and I barely got to spend any time with her after realizing the ability I possessed. If my father doesn’t play Lovebug again, everything will go terribly wrong. Aunt Lizz will lose her ability to speak with Mom after spending seventeen years doing so between her and her mother. The whole thing just doesn’t seem right. He should be playing the song for my mother not hiding from it. Lovebug is her favorite song and my father is being a complete ass about all of this. Just because he’s playing a mandolin in the song doesn’t give him the right to just forget about it the moment she died. My father’s refusal to play the song has caused me to come into possession of the mandolin my father once gave her.” I sighed. “It was her most prized possession and my father won’t even go near it.”

Uncle Joe rolled his eyes. “We know, JJ. Your father, despite having given the mandolin to your mother, won’t go anywhere near it. That mandolin is a constant reminder, much like you, as to the fact that Panda is no longer alive; her ghost watches over you guys and speaks to you and Lizard. I suppose I shouldn’t have suggested that as a gift.”

“You suggested it?” I asked uncertainly.

He nodded. “I did. Of course, I regret doing so now. My older brother has completely refused to play Lovebug and give himself the opportunity to speak with his wife’s ghost. Nick and I never should have called her a musical instrument. Otherwise, this never would have happened. I know I’ve said this before, but sorry about that, Panda. If it weren’t for us doing that, Kevin never would have become this morose about your death.”

Remembering what my aunt told me about how my parents met and that my mother couldn’t exactly speak to Uncle Joe, I reminded my uncle of what he did. “Uncle Joe, if you didn’t call my mother that during the live chat, my parents never would have met and I wouldn’t have been born. Doing that was what brought my parents together in the first place.

“True, but your father became extremely protective of Panda. Each time a parent of theirs died, Kevin was always there to protect and comfort her. When that happened, Panda knew from the moment she got pregnant that your father could never know what happened because he’d only want to protect her. She kept that secret up until we got back from filming Camp Rock 2 when your father learned of the pregnancy and began protecting her again. Kevin swore he was going to do the same when you three were born, but things changed when Panda died; her death caused your father to go back on that and only spend time with Garrett and Madison. I don’t even think he’s ever gone back to her grave since the day she was buried,” Uncle Joe said. “Nick, Lizard, and I have gone to her burial site, but never your father. He wouldn’t even let us take you or siblings over there.”

“But that’s stupid!” I exclaimed.

“I know,” he said.

“Well, I’m going to go,” I said sullenly. “I think I need to go talk to Aunt Lizz about what’s going on. With it getting close to Christmas and New Year’s, that just means that Mom’s link to the two of us is slowly disappearing. Lovebug must be played in order for Aunt Lizz and I to continue communicating with her. And, if there was any way for you and Uncle Nick to see my mother, I’d pursue it. Unfortunately, there is no way.” Upon saying this, I put my mother’s mandolin and my guitar in the closet and left my uncle’s place.

Aunt Lizz was the first to greet me when I got back. “Jason, you and your uncles have something to do on Christmas Eve. This is a way for you guys to convince your father to play Lovebug for your mother. It might be one of the only ways to convince him.”

“We’re playing it, aren’t we?” I asked. This had to be what Uncle Joe was telling me about. Aunt Lizz wanted me and my uncle to play Lovebug for the world and prove to my father that he would have to play it for Mom. Lovebug was her song and she needed to hear it. Uncle Joe, Uncle Nick, Aunt Lizz, and I would not stand for my father doing all of this.

“Of course,” she replied.

“Good,” I said. “Just make sure that my father and siblings are watching. I want them to be made aware of what I’m doing. Particularly my father; he’s being a complete ass.”

“We’re all coming with you guys so that shouldn’t be a problem,” Aunt Lizz said. “Your father and siblings will be there to hear you and your uncles play Lovebug for all the Jonas Brothers fans out there. Though it might be you rather than your father playing the song, I’m sure that the fans will be thrilled to hear Lovebug again. Then, once New Year’s Eve comes, it will be your father’s turn to play the song your mother loved so much. He’ll be forced to play it when you announce that he will. If he refuses, the banana will be shoved in his face by either you or Nick. Kevin, whether he likes it or not, is going to play Lovebug; even if we have to force him. So, why don’t you go upstairs and start getting ready for when we leave for that performance you and your uncles have to give?”

“Okay. So, when does my father learn about this?” I asked.

“Soon. Very soon.”

“Good,” I replied. “He needs to know.”

As I went up to begin packing, my mother’s ghost appeared. She smiled weakly and followed me into my room. “Jason, this may be the last time I’m able to contact you. My link to you and Betsy is becoming weak and fading because it’s so close to the end of the year and your father still hasn’t played Lovebug for me,” she said quietly. “I don’t exactly know whether or not I’ll be able to speak with you or my sister any further than I have.”

I sighed. “Don’t worry, Mom. I am going to make sure that Dad play Lovebug again for you. Then you’ll be able to remain in contact with me, Aunt Lizz, and Dad after the New Year.” I was going to keep this promise; there was absolutely no way in hell that I was about to let my father do this to me and Aunt Lizz merely out of spite. That wasn’t right.