Different
Chapter 43
CHAPTER 43
~Gerard~
I sat on the stairs, feverishly picking at the hem of my black jacket, stunned at Kayleigh’s sudden…well…I’m not quite sure what it was. What did I do wrong? I must have hurt her feelings again. But how? Wait…I hugged her…maybe she didn’t like it? Maybe she knows I like her? That is if I actually did like her. Which I don’t of course.
Shit I’m so bad at this kind of thing! I cursed, winding the spindly black threads from my jacket around and around my finger until it turned a sickening white colour. No wonder Kyo was freaked out. Who wants to hug a guy who likes to deprive his own fingers of blood? I thought dejectedly.
I rubbed the back of my neck numbly, and ran my fingers through my long hair, something I always found myself doing when I was stressed.
Well what should I do now? I’m in her house. I mean, how much frickin’ worse can it get?
Well I better make sure she’s okay.
And what are you gonna do if she isn’t? mocked a voice somewhere inside my head, hug her again?
Pushing the protesting voice out of my mind, I turned to the stairs and opened my mouth.
“Kayleigh?” I called out.
Oh my god. Is that what I sounded like? A needy squeak of a voice like that?
Come on Gerard, fucking pull your self together already!
“Kyo are you there?”
That’s more like it. What a stupid question though. I was in her house! Where else would she be but here?
There was no answer.
Damn.
What was it with me and people? I always had to pretend. Pretend to be the funny guy, the happy-go-lucky-guy. The guy who gets punched in the face and springs right back up, nothing other than perfectly fine.
Well I wasn’t perfectly fine!
I was fucking messing my life up, and sick of it!
Maybe I was just better off in my room, listening to rock music and writing lyrics that no one would ever hear.
I ought to go check if she’s okay though.
What if something really awful has happened to her and it’s all my fault?
Maybe she just needs help with something.
Yeah I could do that!
If I help her, she’ll like me, right?
Then things won’t be so weird between us!
Yes, I convinced myself, the right thing would be to go upstairs and see how she is. I trod softly up the stairs, stopping uncertainly at the door labelled with her name…
~Kyo~
I sighed and heaved myself up from my uncomfortable slump against the cold wooden door. I became suddenly aware, as I reached to switch on the light, fumbling around for it in the murky darkness, of Gerard calling my name, but pretended not to hear. I knew it was childish, but I couldn’t face him right now, not in this state at least.
I ran my fingers through my hair, something I always did when I was stressed, and tried to think logically about the situation I was in.
I should know by now that never fucking works!
I kicked over my chair in frustration, then froze. What if Gerard heard? The last thing I wanted was for him to come rushing up to find nothing but me in a foul mood.
The only bad thing about being creative, is that it means you are usually also very unorganised. I reached out to swig from the glass of water I kept on my bedside table, but managed to instead, knock it all over myself, soaking my tee shirt completely.
“Oh shit!” I muttered, grabbing the glass and placing it back on the table with such force, I almost dropped it again.
I was going to have to change my top obviously, though this wasn’t such a tragedy, given that I still had on yesterday’s clothes thanks to my lazy state last night.
Picking out my red and black striped tee, I placed it on the bed, ready to put on.
Just as I was pulling off my wet tee though, my whole body froze with horror as I heard the door creak open…
~Gerard~
I pushed open the door without thinking to knock, and peered round it.
At that moment, I almost had a heart attack, for there, right in front of me, was Kyo. This wouldn’t have been anything too unusual, if it hadn’t been that she was wearing nothing but a pair of drainpipes and a black bra.
In complete overload, I leapt back out of the room, and smashed into the parallel wall, slamming the door so fast behind me, that it sent a whoosh of cold air onto me. My heart pounding, I heard her shriek from inside her room.
“shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!!” I whispered hoarsely to myself, slumping down into what was meant to be a sitting position, but probably looked more like a drunken collapse.
Why the hell was my breath coming out so raggedly?
Why did I feel like my heart was in my fucking mouth?
Anyone would be like this Gerard! It would be the same if you saw anyone else with that few clothes on! You’re just a guy! A voice piped up, non-too convincingly in my head.
So why did I have that image playing over and over again in my head, like some kind of broken cassette player?
She was so beautiful, she just-
Oh shut up Gerard!
Just stop it right now!
I banged my head repeatedly on the wall in front of me, only to suddenly realise that it was the wall to Kyo’s room. I jumped back, therefore hitting my head on the opposite wall, in a way, which would have been quite comical if it were not me in this situation.
I resisted the urge to swear loudly.
~Gerard~
I sat on the stairs, feverishly picking at the hem of my black jacket, stunned at Kayleigh’s sudden…well…I’m not quite sure what it was. What did I do wrong? I must have hurt her feelings again. But how? Wait…I hugged her…maybe she didn’t like it? Maybe she knows I like her? That is if I actually did like her. Which I don’t of course.
Shit I’m so bad at this kind of thing! I cursed, winding the spindly black threads from my jacket around and around my finger until it turned a sickening white colour. No wonder Kyo was freaked out. Who wants to hug a guy who likes to deprive his own fingers of blood? I thought dejectedly.
I rubbed the back of my neck numbly, and ran my fingers through my long hair, something I always found myself doing when I was stressed.
Well what should I do now? I’m in her house. I mean, how much frickin’ worse can it get?
Well I better make sure she’s okay.
And what are you gonna do if she isn’t? mocked a voice somewhere inside my head, hug her again?
Pushing the protesting voice out of my mind, I turned to the stairs and opened my mouth.
“Kayleigh?” I called out.
Oh my god. Is that what I sounded like? A needy squeak of a voice like that?
Come on Gerard, fucking pull your self together already!
“Kyo are you there?”
That’s more like it. What a stupid question though. I was in her house! Where else would she be but here?
There was no answer.
Damn.
What was it with me and people? I always had to pretend. Pretend to be the funny guy, the happy-go-lucky-guy. The guy who gets punched in the face and springs right back up, nothing other than perfectly fine.
Well I wasn’t perfectly fine!
I was fucking messing my life up, and sick of it!
Maybe I was just better off in my room, listening to rock music and writing lyrics that no one would ever hear.
I ought to go check if she’s okay though.
What if something really awful has happened to her and it’s all my fault?
Maybe she just needs help with something.
Yeah I could do that!
If I help her, she’ll like me, right?
Then things won’t be so weird between us!
Yes, I convinced myself, the right thing would be to go upstairs and see how she is. I trod softly up the stairs, stopping uncertainly at the door labelled with her name…
~Kyo~
I sighed and heaved myself up from my uncomfortable slump against the cold wooden door. I became suddenly aware, as I reached to switch on the light, fumbling around for it in the murky darkness, of Gerard calling my name, but pretended not to hear. I knew it was childish, but I couldn’t face him right now, not in this state at least.
I ran my fingers through my hair, something I always did when I was stressed, and tried to think logically about the situation I was in.
I should know by now that never fucking works!
I kicked over my chair in frustration, then froze. What if Gerard heard? The last thing I wanted was for him to come rushing up to find nothing but me in a foul mood.
The only bad thing about being creative, is that it means you are usually also very unorganised. I reached out to swig from the glass of water I kept on my bedside table, but managed to instead, knock it all over myself, soaking my tee shirt completely.
“Oh shit!” I muttered, grabbing the glass and placing it back on the table with such force, I almost dropped it again.
I was going to have to change my top obviously, though this wasn’t such a tragedy, given that I still had on yesterday’s clothes thanks to my lazy state last night.
Picking out my red and black striped tee, I placed it on the bed, ready to put on.
Just as I was pulling off my wet tee though, my whole body froze with horror as I heard the door creak open…
~Gerard~
I pushed open the door without thinking to knock, and peered round it.
At that moment, I almost had a heart attack, for there, right in front of me, was Kyo. This wouldn’t have been anything too unusual, if it hadn’t been that she was wearing nothing but a pair of drainpipes and a black bra.
In complete overload, I leapt back out of the room, and smashed into the parallel wall, slamming the door so fast behind me, that it sent a whoosh of cold air onto me. My heart pounding, I heard her shriek from inside her room.
“shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!!” I whispered hoarsely to myself, slumping down into what was meant to be a sitting position, but probably looked more like a drunken collapse.
Why the hell was my breath coming out so raggedly?
Why did I feel like my heart was in my fucking mouth?
Anyone would be like this Gerard! It would be the same if you saw anyone else with that few clothes on! You’re just a guy! A voice piped up, non-too convincingly in my head.
So why did I have that image playing over and over again in my head, like some kind of broken cassette player?
She was so beautiful, she just-
Oh shut up Gerard!
Just stop it right now!
I banged my head repeatedly on the wall in front of me, only to suddenly realise that it was the wall to Kyo’s room. I jumped back, therefore hitting my head on the opposite wall, in a way, which would have been quite comical if it were not me in this situation.
I resisted the urge to swear loudly.