Methods of Misery
He killled me...
I hear the gas jet being switched on into the dimly lighted room. I do not fear anything. My mother's last words were "It'll all be over one day".
I know that they are sure to do it time and time again.Someone walks into the room; I pretend to be asleep for the fear of what happened to my mother still remained. She had to die an awful death, chained to the chair, nothing but skin and bone. The almost never fed her. She had been given that same medicine out of that green bottle everyday. Ghostly pale and delusional,she died with her arms chained to her side, her nerves locked in pain, her face reflecting the ghost of her agony.
The man, who was just as pallid, sweating and dressed in white, hunched closer and took a look at me.To tell you the truth I wasn't any different from my mother, smaller than a wishbone, skin dry and flaky. Still, I had been bred especially for this, and this was what I was meant to be. I cannot fight destiny. I cannot fight the metal wires surrounding me. I have resigned myself to this fate before I was even born and by the time I was aware and ready to change, it was too late.
I felt my blood rush, jangling my already on edge nerves. I could feel the cold magnified ten fold. Yet, I felt no more. I cared of nothing. I relied on my adrenaline to pull me through my last few minutes. Was this the day I would die and finally be put out of my misery? Suddenly the fear struck me,out of nowhere.It was here,colder than ice,and harder than stone. There was no turning back. This is my end. The feeling in me, I cannot describe. Have you ever felt everything rush through you in those last moments? My past whirled around my mind in Technicolour. The glass, the drugs. Everything. My mother. The scientists. Oh god. Soon, I could not tell where one memory ended and one memory began. It was just a blur of colours and sounds.
I opened my eyes a slit,and the blurred image I saw was made even more indistinguishable by my tears. I heard the chink of metal,and something had set on my left arm,I felt the blade slice through my flesh. There were more tears. I heard the sound of glass on glass and at that moment I knew. Then that searing pain went through me. I screamed as the acid burned my skin and all exposed flesh.That foul liquid,more violent than a hurricane, lethal and slow.
The scientist was perhaps startled,for he yelled a string of words I couldn't hear.I pulled at the leather straps,they cut into my skin but somehow it made the pain more bearable. That physical pull stopped me from letting my mind latch onto the feeling of acid dissolving organs. I wanted my arm to be off right then. At least that pain was bearable.
It was seconds, maybe hours. I can't remember. Too long. And then it ended. Just like that, I could feel nothing, hear nothing and I welcomed that numbness with open arms. I saw mother. She was staring, a small smile gracing her features. She looked healthier. I storde purposefully into her open arms. At that moment when I finally felt her arms close around me, I knew.
I was free.
I know that they are sure to do it time and time again.Someone walks into the room; I pretend to be asleep for the fear of what happened to my mother still remained. She had to die an awful death, chained to the chair, nothing but skin and bone. The almost never fed her. She had been given that same medicine out of that green bottle everyday. Ghostly pale and delusional,she died with her arms chained to her side, her nerves locked in pain, her face reflecting the ghost of her agony.
The man, who was just as pallid, sweating and dressed in white, hunched closer and took a look at me.To tell you the truth I wasn't any different from my mother, smaller than a wishbone, skin dry and flaky. Still, I had been bred especially for this, and this was what I was meant to be. I cannot fight destiny. I cannot fight the metal wires surrounding me. I have resigned myself to this fate before I was even born and by the time I was aware and ready to change, it was too late.
I felt my blood rush, jangling my already on edge nerves. I could feel the cold magnified ten fold. Yet, I felt no more. I cared of nothing. I relied on my adrenaline to pull me through my last few minutes. Was this the day I would die and finally be put out of my misery? Suddenly the fear struck me,out of nowhere.It was here,colder than ice,and harder than stone. There was no turning back. This is my end. The feeling in me, I cannot describe. Have you ever felt everything rush through you in those last moments? My past whirled around my mind in Technicolour. The glass, the drugs. Everything. My mother. The scientists. Oh god. Soon, I could not tell where one memory ended and one memory began. It was just a blur of colours and sounds.
I opened my eyes a slit,and the blurred image I saw was made even more indistinguishable by my tears. I heard the chink of metal,and something had set on my left arm,I felt the blade slice through my flesh. There were more tears. I heard the sound of glass on glass and at that moment I knew. Then that searing pain went through me. I screamed as the acid burned my skin and all exposed flesh.That foul liquid,more violent than a hurricane, lethal and slow.
The scientist was perhaps startled,for he yelled a string of words I couldn't hear.I pulled at the leather straps,they cut into my skin but somehow it made the pain more bearable. That physical pull stopped me from letting my mind latch onto the feeling of acid dissolving organs. I wanted my arm to be off right then. At least that pain was bearable.
It was seconds, maybe hours. I can't remember. Too long. And then it ended. Just like that, I could feel nothing, hear nothing and I welcomed that numbness with open arms. I saw mother. She was staring, a small smile gracing her features. She looked healthier. I storde purposefully into her open arms. At that moment when I finally felt her arms close around me, I knew.
I was free.