Keep the Pain Away. . .

My gaze flickered from the Blue raspberry to the cherry and back again. Hot hands were around my waist and soon I was off the ground. I smile cracked it’s way to my lips and I gave a fake squeal.

“First off, you are such a faker,” Jacob laughed, “and second you should totally get a large blue raspberry slushy.”

Jacob set me down and I got myself a extra large glass and filled it to the rim. The freezing taste of blue raspberries filled my mouth and I smiled. I missed slushies. Jake laughed at me as I focused my eyes on my slushy and slowly sipped it. I didn’t realize that he paid for it until we got into the vehicle.

I was so lost in the delicious taste of my slushy. “You paid for my slushy!” I accused him.

He gave a half hearted smile. I guess it was because there wasn’t much emotion in my features but then he started laughing. “You look so funny with blue lips! Ha-ha!”

Suddenly my slushy was taken out of my hand. Jake was taking a swallow. “Don’t touch my slushy, bitch.” I lunged towards my cup but he stuck it out the window.

I reached over Jake towards my slushy but it was pointless. His reach was longer than mine. I thought about putting a pout on but I didn’t want to look like a retard so I just sat back and glared out the window. I hate not remembering how to do stupid things like pouting and stuff.

“I’m sorry.” Jake caused me to look at him.

He handed me my slushy back but I just stared at it. “What are you sorry for?”

“Taking your slushy. What else?”

“Well, no need to apologize because I’m not mad. I’m just frustrated with myself.”

“Oh, I couldn’t really tell if you were mad or just frustrated because you only let a hint of emotion in your expressions. Usually you’re so composed…” He trailed off as he took his car out of park and started to drive towards my new…home.

I twinge of guilt closed off my voice…okay, I felt entirely guilty! Don’t judge me; I’m not used to such strong emotion flooding my mind like that. I started to hate not missing the old me. Suddenly the memory of Ryan’s body with blood pooled around it flooded my mind. It changed to my sister with the multiple knife wounds and the butcher knife sticking out of her skull. They were so graphic that I suppressed the scream that was building up in my throat.

The next picture was off my mother and how I could hardly see any of her features. Her body was bruised and cut up from nails with strips of clothing torn around her. My father had fallen onto her. Only part of his skull was left and the shotgun had laid beside him, bloodied.

My hands clenched into tight fists and my whole body was rigid as my jaw strained with pain from me clenching my teeth for so long and hard. The terrified screaming was only inches away from breaking through my pursed lips. The tears were on the verge of welling up my eyes and spilling over.

I tried to clear the thoughts from my head but they stayed; the memories burning even hotter in my mind. I knew I was going to have nightmares about it. They just wouldn’t go AWAY! I shut my eyes but the horrific scene played behind my eyelids and I swear I could hear the screaming and the sound of the firing guns.

“ZEEVA!” Jake shook me.

“My gave shifted to him but I couldn’t keep the terror out of my blue eyes. He gave me a concerned look. “We’re here.” He stated quietly.