Immersion

That was one of the many moments that I fell in love with her. Anyone who tries to tell you that there is a highest level to adore a single person would be very, very wrong, for I found that every time there occurred one of those many instances, the same euphoric emotion would come over me with the same intensity as before. Never weaker, and never a stop in velocity.

If anything, it only became stronger; the epiphany of discovering love hit me continuously.
One day, she would laugh, and I fell in love. The next day, she was grinning because she got the part of Nidria, and the exact realization from the day before hit me with the same strength. I reached the level of love multiple times over the same girl. I don't know how to explain it in any more comprehension.

I wanted to go through the auditorium doors so badly, especially since thinking about her so deeply when she was that close was like hovering a steak over a dog's head. I wanted to enter, stand towards the back to attain invisibility, and watch her.
Possibly pull my Kodak out and keep some mementos.

I had just bought film yesterday.

I had my hand on the handle of the auditorium doors when a car horn echoed nearby. I jumped from its loud volume, and turned around only to see my brother, Oli. At the distance I was standing -which actually was not very far- he could have been waiting there for an eternity, appearing completely collected and calm. His left hand tapped rhythmically in beat with an elusive song, and he was mouthing the words.

I could have pretended like I didn't even hear him, using the excuse from before about how my ears are nothing compared to my eyes, and just open the door and watch the rehearsal.
Oli owed me that much. But at the last second, when I was turning around, our gazes had intersected. He waved me over, so I figured that I would just comply.

I hoisted my book bag higher onto my shoulder and began walking. As I was mere feet away, the passenger door emitted a CLICK signaling the lock. I looked up at Oli with an annoyed expression clouding over me, while he smirked softly and unlocked it once again.
We never did have the same sense of humor.

Opening the door, 'Theatre' filled my eardrums, and I stared at him oddly; I had one foot in the car and one outside of it.

"I didn't know you listen to Gatsby's American Dream."

He shrugged and turned it down enough to talk to me.

"I didn't know you listened to Hellogoodbye til I heard you singing 'Dear Jamie' in your room the other day."

"You must too since you knew the name of the song." I countered snidely.

Oli had that smirk again and said,
"Touche."

Conversation had hit a dead end at that point, that is until I remembered what I was going to ask him. He hadn't made an effort to even move the car, and he was tapping his fingers to the different melody of 'Pompeii'.

"What are you doing here?"

He raised a brow at me, but I didn't mean for the question to come out so offensive.
"I'm here to pick you up, duh."

"Well I could have walked home, you know. That was my plan to begin with." I defended.

I hated when Oli held his title of 'big brother' above me. If it wasn't picking on me at home, it was picking me up from school after my first fucking detention. It was like living the novel 1984.
I wanted to be alone and wallow in my shame. Only the trees, or at best, a fast passing driver would see me miserable. Oli seeing it would only bring me down to a stoop that was unknown and unwanted to me. It seemed as though he always took some sort of weird, personal interest in my life. I don't know if it could be considered strange since he was, in fact, my brother. But He was always badgering me about my social life, or lack of one, and school.

Or picking me up from everywhere.
Why couldn't he just leave me alone and bang his girlfriend?
And as if my thoughts had a voice of their own, I blurted:
"Don't you have stuff to do? I'm sure this isn't fun..." I trailed off.

He smiled.
"Dude, it's just getting you from school after detention. Just being generous, thought you'd appreciate it."

Well you thought wrong.

"'Eh, Tom, you alri-"

He got cut off by his phone vibrating on the dashboard, right above the radio he was jamming out to only minutes ago. By the look on his face, it seemed as though his party was over. His lip was squeezed between his teeth, and he had that expression like he was in trouble or he didn't want to deal with any shit today.
A nice medium.

"Fuck me, it's the boss."

He took in a large gulp of air before flipping open his phone and putting it to his ear.
Immediately following was the screech of a girl's voice, so loud that I could hear it from across the console that separated him and I.
That has to be Jenni.

"Well hello to you too." Oli mumbled, resonate enough to be heard over her.
"What'd you expect doll when you're squakin' in my ear like that?...no, I didn't...uh huh...uh huh- WHAT?!"

His eyes bulged as he held the electronic closer to his ear now sporting a determined face.
I tried not to eavesdrop, but that's such a hard thing to achieve when it comes to Oli talking to Jenni and being in the same car, where everything is bound to be heard.

I peered out the window instead; seeing nothing but an empty schoolyard and a few finches flying past briskly. Trying to stay interested in something so mundane is a task in itself, but I really didn't want Oli getting on my ass for listening in on him. The double doors to the auditorium opened up, and out escaped the drama students, one of the first being Adeline.
The scenery just became more interesting.

"Stacy Mcgee is a slut! I wouldn't lay a hand on her if you paid me too...No it's not true, Fin's ass is mine...how could I be out with her if I was shootin' hoops with Curtis? I would never-Jen?...SHE HUNG UP!" He yelled in outrage.

The loud echo of metal colliding with the windshield made me jump and distracted me enough to look away from Adeline. But trust me, it only lasted half a second.
Where the fuck is my camera?

"Can you believe her? She doesn't give a shit to listen to anything I have to say and instead, she just yap yap yaps. She makes me wanna slam my head against a brick wall, I tell ya."

I didn't notice how quiet it had gotten until Oli was right over my shoulder, his gaze matching mine.
Towards her.
I faked it like I wasn't gawking at her, but it was already too late.

"Is this the lass that you're all bent up about?" He cooed wittingly.

I rolled my eyes and fell back into my seat; really not wanting to engage into this conversation with him of all people. I stayed quiet as he continued to tease me about it.

"Eh, I don' blame you, she's sex on a stick, mate."

I darted my dirtiest glare at him, totally shocked that he would say that.
"Shut up Oli, and don't talk about her like that." I growled.

He looked at me like I was insane.
Which would be true for that moment.

"Chill dude, just playin' around," He defended casually.
"Is she the reason you got detention?"

I wondered if I should answer the question truthfully, but then realized that he wouldn't believe me if I told him that I got in a fight or tagged the cafeteria, or anything else along those lines.
I sighed, then nodded. He whistled like saying 'wow'.

He didn't respond, just turned back around in the correct position of the driver's seat and put the keys in the ignition, making them chime like another song. The engine roared to life, and he began to drive down the pick up/drop off lane for my school.
The true extent of my compulsion for Adeline was back as I instantaneously shimmied around in my seat to watch her fade into a speck as we left campus.

"Tom." Oli said.

I rotated back to see him, with my eyes bearing into the right side of his face.
He chuckled heartily and shook his head.
"You've got it bad."

He said it as though he had gone through the exact same stage as I was currently suffering from.
Although I didn't consider it as suffering, and that's when you know you're in deep: When you don't even mind being entangled in something so mysterious, and possibly, dangerous.
Oh, he had no idea.