Immersion

A wish for automatic doors spun in my head as I pushed open the one for the shop entrance. This time the hatch didn't click, it banged with my temper. With my adrenaline-bloated hands, I made the entire place shake with the slamming of a door. My feet had never moved faster at any other point in my life, and my forehead had never felt hotter. If I told you that it was burning up at the sheer thought of Adeline, then it was fucking scorching at the worst imagery I've ever seen. Surrounded by my own forte, photography, she had conversed with some shameless guy who found it so easy to approach her. She was in the middle of my very heart and was now tainted by carbon monoxide. As they were 'mingling', I was clutching my chest to keep my organs from being puked up. There happened to be a ceiling light above them; serving as illumination for the two, while I watched in darkness.

He made her smile. Fucking smile.
It was the one thing I had always aimed for throughout the year I'd been given this disease, the only cure, and that bastard snatched it from me in an instant.
I left everyone -Adeline, that ruddy asshole, my brother, Jenni- everyone behind in my lava-induced rage. It was something so hot your skin would flair and curl under its gaze. It was something so blazing that it would give you instantaneous, bubbling blisters. If someone so much as fucked with me, they'd have flaming hell to pay.

"Jesus Tom, wait up! You're haulin' ass."

If he knew what was good for him, he'd keep a greedy distance.

I disregarded his request easily, for my mind was in overdrive, trying to salvage my Sunday. Attempting to keep my weekend on the road to a calm, satisfactory, good ending, but I couldn't get that picture out of my head. I came to develop film, and I got my fucking wish.

I didn't even want to think about what moves he was putting on her in there.
Was he making her laugh with his clever, well-grafted humor?
Was he feeding her a bowl of shit about what an amazing photographer he was?
Was she buying it?

I'd hoped not, very deeply denied it, for I loved her, and I wanted to think that I fell for a smart, insightful, aware girl. Not one that giggled over any asshole that came her way.

Oli's footsteps were growing undeniably louder, and at a lower decibel, I could pick up the clicks of Jenni's heels against the parking lot pavement. She had been left carelessly behind, and I would hear about it later, but to even try to give a shit about it at the moment would be an effort in vein.

"Oi, Tommy boy, slow down! Why you movin' so fast?"

Even after all the film I used on her.

"Tom!"

All the pictures of every facial expression ever contorted by her features.

"Hold up man!"

The numerous photo albums where they were stored.

"Tommy!"

Hours among hours spent studying a face that I had perfected for my dreams.

"Wait for u,s Tom!"

Were they all for nothing?

My feet had became heavier, bullying the Earth with every stomp.
I wanted to whip out the brightest flash for my Kodak and aim the bulls eye in my own fucking face. Have my shrill pupils squeeze shut and never see another heartbreak again. I wanted to take in a mouthful of the curb and have Oli jump on my skull. I wanted to leave.
A calloused grip was then around my arm, and it was only the said skull breaker. I stopped only in extremely limited generosity and let him catch a breath before walking again. I wanted to achieve that "greedy distance".

"What the fuck man, just chill out. What are ya so worked up over?"

It took me a long time to answer, either by my wildfire mood or physical speechless. Maybe both, which would be more logical, although I wasn't thinking straight for a whole three minutes.

I swallowed air and looked at him venomously as I spat, "Nothing."

"That's shit."

I rolled my eyes and tried to get away again, not wanting to do or say something regretable. I'd had enough servings of that plate already. My dip shit brother stood his ground though, and as I pulled, it looked like a dog trying to get away from the tree it was tied to. I bolted him with my piercing stare and narrowed my eyes. He only smirked, which only made me more angry.

"Let. Go."

He shook his head defiantly.
"Nope, tell me."

"Oli!"

This halted me, for the only voice that could control him was the caustic, ferocious one of Jenni.

"What'cha want now..."

His voice dragged out and didn't require a question mark anymore. He sounded so exhausted and impatient that it hit me on a similar chord. She was standing a great distance behind us with gum being compressed by her molars after every other pause of her slack jaw, accompanied by hands on her hips, tapping her manicured nails against her belt loops.

"Can we get ice-cream now? There's a Dairy Queen right over there," She spoke loudly as one of those planned, acrylic nails pointed to our right across the street.

Oli released a sigh,
"In a minute babe, I'm talking to Tom."

I glowered at his neck, for his head was in Jenni's direction.
If he thought he was getting anything out of me, he was wrong.
The hums of the cars still kept our ears busy, and I imagined being in the passenger's seat of one. Not in my brother's car, and in that instance, not even in Adeline's. I knew that soon her passenger's seat might be taken by "that sweet guy at the photoshop", or at least her phone with his number inside.
It always comes back to this, it seems.

Oli's strength around my bicep hadn't subsided since being interrupted by Jenni, and I had a numbing feeling that it wouldn't even after they were finished. From our distance apart, I could see a frown disease her lips.

"But Oli, just...ugh, just leave him alone already! Come on." she whined.

With only a view of half his profile, the emotion that swept across his face could best be named as irritability, just as mentioned previously. Now he was the one rolling his eyes.

"Jen, I know what I'm doing, can you just wait?"

Not even for another breath.

Her frown faded and was left impassive, the same for her eyes. Then coolly she said, "Fine."
And began to go off in the direction of the restaurant.

Bafflement swept across Oli's face. His brows furrowed down to the bridge of his nose and, just a little bit, loosened the lock around my arm.

"Fine? That's it? You're not gonna bitch or nothin'?"

Way to ruin something good.

I watched as Jenni shook her head.
"Not today. I'll just flirt with the cashier, and while I do, I'll remember how much my boyfriend 'digs me'."

Que another jaw becoming slack.
Only this time not from chewing gum, but from his words used against him. Ouch.

He slowly let go of me, blinking in confusion at her retreating figure. He was gaping, for she never was tamed or predictable. He thought that he had her when he was anticipating complaints, but alas, she duped him and shot back with a factitious remark from the warehouse of her mind that was never in short supply. These were the moments that I liked her, because she proved once again that she would always be one step ahead of Oli, ready with her ammunition. Like I've said before, she was the only one that possessed this ability.
Someone to finally render him speechless.

I took his frailty and saw an opportunity to yank my limb away. He got left behind.

While advancing, Oli's footsteps pattered in a run towards the opposite direction I was headed in with undying motivation towards the ice-cream shop.

Bros before hoes.