She's With The Band

Later that night, once the band had been informed of Mae’s death, Imelda sat outside in the cool southern air, her head in Jack’s lap as he stroked it softly. Clair de Lune, Mae’s favorite song, played quietly from her iPod and not a tear was shed.
J
ack was not as peaceful as Imelda- he shifted uncomfortably under her, thinking about the night’s events. The only reason he was comforting Imelda was because she was desperate for a constant. Her illness was slowly destroying her, tearing her away from the hopes of someday providing herself with a family and ripping her all-important relationship with Jack to shreds. And now her best friend was murdered?

Of course he had loved Imelda, she was so much more to him than just a girlfriend, a summer fling. She was, naturally, the person he wanted to spend his life with until they were shriveled and wrinkly, the dye out of his hair, the makeup off her eyes. But in the last half hour, that had all changed. He consciously knew that Imelda loved him desperately and refused to marry him out of sheer care for his future. But he couldn’t keep himself from thinking about how horribly he felt about her now. He didn’t love her- but he cared enough to stay while she gathered her feelings.

Imelda still hadn’t let a tear drop from her solemn brown eyes- she was all dried up from her argument with Jack. But now that she was lying in his lap again, it seemed as though everything was back to normal. Or, as normal as it was without Mae’s influence. Had Jack really forgotten all that he had said earlier? That they really couldn’t be together if they weren’t getting married? It seemed as though he had decided that Imelda needed him more than ever now and he had intended to forget his anger and stay with her.

“Jack, I love you,” Imelda croaked. Jack clenched his jaw and took a deep breath.
“Yeah.”

Alex sat inside the Paramore bus, Hayley’s head in his lap just as Imelda’s was in Jack’s a few yards away. He was staring out at them, just sitting there. Even from that far away, he could tell Jack was uncomfortable and Imelda was still stunned into dysfunction.

“How the fuck did this all happen?” Alex sighed, stroking Hayley’s red tresses. Hayley just shook her head without a word.

Back in the All Time Low van, Rian was whispering quietly to Kara on the phone about the night’s events and recruiting her for a back up merch girl when Imelda inevitably left. Whether or not the band would stay at all was the big question now. Would Jack leave with Imelda? Would they end up getting married after all? No one had any answers and there were way too many questions.

Zack was nervously fiddling with the strings hanging off his shorts. The tension made him anxious. He had grown exceptionally close to Imelda through their shared love of baseball and had become accustomed to spending lazy afternoon hours together leaning close to the radio and hollering at each other over a foul ball. He, like everyone else on Tour, knew about the incident and knew that the clock was ticking until Imelda’s so-far-unannounced departure took place.

Back outside, Imelda was finally letting herself cry, and Jack was still thoroughly ill at ease.

“I should leave soon. Mae needs me,” Imelda whispered, sniffling and pulling herself off his lap.

Jack rolled his eyes irritably. “Yeah. Ok. Pack your stuff, I’ll get you a train or something,” he replied indifferently. As he began to walk away, Imelda grabbed his wrist and kissed him roughly. Jack’s lips moved against Imelda’s without passion or heart as her hands slid into his hair. He placed his hands delicately on her waist and pulled away.

“Not now, Mel.”

“Why?” she giggled, pulling him back into her. He dragged himself away again.

“Because it’s not the time, Imelda. Your best friend just died. You don’t want this. You told me so twenty minutes ago!” he screamed.

Imelda’s face crumpled in disappointment and fear. “Wh-what?”

“Imelda,” he mumbled, feeling sorry for yelling at her, “this isn’t possible. I cannot do this if you don’t want this as bad as I do. And if you don’t want to marry me, then you clearly don’t care enough!” he whined.

“Jack, how can you even say that? You know I care about you! God, I can’t marry you because you have to marry someone who isn’t terminal! Who can provide you with cute little Bara-babies! Who can grow old with you! Who ca-“ Imelda cut herself off with a sob and fell back against the van.

Jack groaned. “Come on, Mel. Why can’t you let me give that up for you? We don’t need all that! We have years and years until we have to start worrying! I just want this to last as long as it can. Why do we have to cut it off now?”

“Because I don’t want to make you worry at all! That’s not fair to you! God, I should’ve never let this happen. I promised myself at the beginning of this Tour that I wouldn’t get overly involved. And now, look at this! I’ve destroyed you!” she cried, tears flowing freely in familiar patterns down her wet cheeks.

Jack was silent, shaking his head in disappointment. “I’ll get you a cab to the train station,” he finally muttered.

“I’ll drive her!” Alex offered as he walked from around the corner with Hayley hanging off his waist.

Jack chuckled bitterly. “Why are you always right there?”

Alex shrugged. “Someone’s gotta keep you two from ripping each other limb from limb. Hayley, Cass and I will take her. Go pack, Mel.”

Imelda gathered her things quietly, deep in thought. Were they broken up? On a break? Just a big fight? Did he hate her? Should she just marry him instead?

“You ready?” Hayley breathed as she sat next to Imelda on the curb with all her stuff.
Imelda nodded and hugged each band member goodbye, leaving the best for last. She glanced around the area for Jack but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Really? He’s gone? Not even gonna say goodbye? Fuck, that’s mature!” Imelda croaked, fighting back even more waterworks. Alex looked at her with soft eyes and put a hand on her delicate, sore shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Imelda. You deserve so much more. But I know he loves you. He’s just- never been good with goodbyes. Especially with people he’d jump in front of a semi for in half a heartbeat.”

Imelda began to cry (again!) as she lifted her trunk and bags into the back of the borrowed Jeep and slid into the backseat.

Alex and Hayley knew better than to say anything, but Cassadee began to talk Imelda’s ear off about God knows what. Imelda wasn’t paying any attention, simply watching as the busses and vans loaded up for the night and commenced their travels to the next stop of tour. Alex had mentioned that he, Cassadee and Hayley would catch up after they dropped her off.

Once the tickets had been bought at the station and the train had been located, Imelda stood, staring at Alex, who was fighting hard against his tears.

“Honey, you… well, we had a fun run, huh? Those first few days? But then Jack stepped in…
oh well. But I never would’ve… gotten the balls… to talk to her again,” he glanced at Hayley, who stood away, pretending not to watch, “You helped me find her, and God, I know this is horrible timing, but we’re engaged and Hayley wants you to be a bridesmaid and I’m sorry I had to bring that up now, but I did and God, Imelda, I don’t even know what to say right now. No one’s ever treated Jack like you did, and you can’t blame him for wanted more of you.
But I understand you. You just want to let him forget you. But that’s not possible! H-he’s insane about you. But you don’t want to hear that, I know. Just know that you can always call me, day, night, in between somewhere and Hayls will call you about the wedding and the train is moving so I have to get off now but I love you!” Alex called, the tears leaking at the end and he sprinted off the train and leapt onto the platform.

Once the three waving, crying, sobbing kids were out of Imelda’s sight, she sunk into her seat and pursed her lips. Mae’s funeral was the next morning. Darla would need her to be strong for that. Imelda had completely avoided Gabe, even though he had been begging to see her since earlier that night. But she couldn’t face him now that she was running away. She was scared that he would yell at her for doing the same thing he did.

Like father like daughter.

But the thing that struck Imelda the hardest was the fact that she wanted nothing more than to run back, find Jack and share that cliché moment where she agreed to marry him, ended up having a dozen kids, living on a farm until they were ninety-eight and dying peacefully in each other’s arms.

But that was not an option. It was never an option.