Inclined to Recline

I pulled a face as I glanced out of the record store window at the pounding rain outside. It was thunder and lightning to match, which was my favourite type of weather.

I gasped as the sky lit up brightly with the lightning, and then grinned as the thunder followed, “TOBY!” I screamed, “That was amazing!” He strolled out of the back room, rolling his eyes, and carrying a cardboard box with him. I hoisted myself up on the empty surface by the cash register, turning my back to the window, and watched Toby as he worked.

“I’m fine, Emma, I don’t need your help. But thanks for offering,” He said sarcastically, glancing at me through a gap in his fringe as he sat on his knees on the floor, placing CD’s into the racks.

I smirked and rolled my eyes, “Toby, have you seen the weather out there?” Pause for dramatic effect, “No one is going to leave the safety of their houses to come and buy a CD, bud, hate to break it to you,”

He threw me a playful glare and I giggled, “Are you actually here for a reason, or just to irritate me?”

I shrugged, swinging my legs and grinning, “Probably sixty percent to irritate you, and forty perfect for a reason.” I frowned, “Are you going to shut the shop or not? Otherwise I’m going to call Nick to-”

He laughed, but it wasn’t an amused laugh, it was more of an I-knew-it laugh, “So that’s what this is about,” I exhaled deeply and caught his eye. His eyes were hard and it cut right through me. I gulped, “You’re back with him right?” I bit my lip and he sighed and shook his head.

“Toby, I’m sorry,” I said, “I just-”

He interrupted, “Whatever,” He snapped, “I don’t care.”

I jumped down off of the counter and stared at him, wide-eyed, “Hey! Stop being such a dick. You don’t get to talk to me that way just because I didn’t choose you, okay?” I snapped. I cringed at the hurt that was evident in my voice; I didn’t want him to know he was getting to me, but it was plainly obvious in the tone I was using. “Do you want to know something?” He froze what he was doing, putting the CD’s he was holding back into the box before standing up and facing me, a hard glare on his features, “I love you, okay? I do. I love you so much that it hurts, but it’s in a totally different way to how I love Nick. And I’m sorry about that, I really, truly am. I wanted there to be something between us, I did, because I love you so much, and I trust you with my life, and you make me laugh until my sides hurt, and I can be myself around you, and because you were there for me when nobody else was when I first moved here,” I paused for breath, noticing his glare softening. “I want to be in love with you, but I’m not. I can’t control my feelings, T...they just are.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, and I bit my lip awkwardly, clasping my hands behind my back. Finally I sighed and took a step closer to him, feeling like I’d just been punched in the gut when he took a step away. I closed my eyes briefly, long enough to stop tears forming, and then looked back at him. He was turning back to his cardboard box.

“Toby,”

“Whatever,” He shrugged, “I’ll call you later,”

**

My good mood soon disappeared after my talk with Toby. I was in Starbucks enjoying a hot chocolate and a good sulk when Julia found me.

I glanced up as the chair was pulled out in front of me, but I didn’t speak. She sat down and placed her coffee in front of her. It had some sort of fancy name but I never bothered to learn it. We stayed in silence for a while, and I sipped at my drink awkwardly.

I groaned, annoyed, “You know, when a girl disappears without telling anyone where she is going, it generally means she doesn’t want to talk to anyone,”

She smirked, “It could mean that, but I tend to think that it is a cry for help,”

“It wasn’t,”

She shrugged and I sighed, knowing that she wasn’t leaving until she’d finished her drink and I was following behind her. May as well do this the easy way, “I’m guessing you spoke to Toby,” I didn’t respond and she sighed, “And I’m guessing it didn’t go to well. What did you expect? The guy is in love with you and you just told him that you’re back with your ex; he isn’t going to be jumping for joy over that Emma. No matter how much he loves you, and wants you to be happy, it’s gotta hurt.” She paused. I wasn’t sure if she was just taking a breather, or waiting for me to reply, or something else. Either way I didn’t make a sound so she continued, “He does want you to be happy Em, of course he does. He’s just embarrassed, and upset, but he’ll get over it.”

“Maybe,”

She exhaled deeply, “Okay I tried being nice, I gave you my words of wisdom, and now you’re irritating me. So stop feeling sorry for yourself! I have something I want to ask you,” I pulled my eyebrows together in confusion and glanced up at her, stopping stirring my drink, she was smirking and it instantly had me intrigued, “Smile,” She demanded and I gave her the quickest and fakest smile ever, gaining myself a rolling of her eyes in return, “Wow, I am blown away by your excitement,”

“Shut up and tell me!” I rolled my eyes and she stuck her tongue out, “Gosh, you’re so immature. You’re twenty one, Julia!”

She giggled, “I don’t know how you dare; you’re just as bad! Plus, you’ve seen my boyfriend. I’m practically an old woman compared to him.”

I picked up a packet of sugar off of the table and launched it at her. She blinked a few times after it hit her square in the forehead. I giggled, “Tell me what’s going on,”

She nodded, and then started her babbling; Nick and Joe were finished the tour now, but of course I knew that. They were going to want to go home soon after being away for so long. So she had an idea... “Why don’t we go with them?” I raised my eyebrows, but she rushed on before I could reply, “I’m being serious! Look, I’m twenty one, and you’re nineteen...come on it will be awesome! We could let them go first, and then we could fly down the next day and surprise them!” I opened my mouth again, and again she rushed in before I could get any sound out, “You know what don’t decide just yet. Think about it, talk to your Mom about it, and get back to me, okay?”

I opened my mouth slowly this time, watching her warily, and when she didn’t interrupt I nodded, “Okay,” I agreed, and then chuckled, “Are you ready to go? I want to go and see my boyfriend,” I grinned at the way that word sounded so comfortable on my lips. I could tell Julia noticed it too, because she smiled at me, and then linked my arm and walked me out to my car.

**

Nick came to pick me up that evening to take me out on our first official date of our second run. He had calmed down his curls into a slightly Elvis Presley-esque style. It suited him, but I always did have a love for his free bouncing girls. He was wearing a pair of type blue jeans with a white checked shirt tucked in.

He looked divine.

I had changed into a cute pink dress that came to half way down my thighs, with a white cardigan and a pair of white heels. My hair was straight, with my full fringe actually down for once. He smiled at me when I opened the door, and I swooned at the sight of him leaning against my door frame.

“You look beautiful,” He said in way of hello, and then leaned in towards me. He placed a hand on my elbow and pressed his lips to mine. I smiled into the kiss, “Are you ready to go?”

“Yep,” I smiled, and then stepped out of the door, pulling it closed behind me. He led me to his rental car, and then opened the door and helped me in, before going round to his own side. Once we were both settled in, he drove us to the restaurant.

It was a restaurant I had never been to before, but it was still nice, and the meal was delicious. I was expecting him to drive me home afterwards, but instead he drove me to a park close by, again one which I had never been to before, or even known that it existed, if I was being honest.

It was empty, which was surprising for New York on a nice night; the fact that it was even a nice night was also surprising considering the extreme weather of earlier in the day, but I wasn’t complaining. I took off my heels and carried them over towards the swings, and then tested that it was dry before I sat down on it and began swinging slowly. Nick took the one next to me.

“Thank you for tonight,” I smiled, leaning my head on the metal that was attaching the seat to the rest of it. He stretched his head through the gap and pressed another soft kiss to my lips and I giggled.

“It was my absolute pleasure,” He smiled, but it only lasted a second, before he reached out and tucked a strand of my hair that was blowing in the breeze behind my ear. His face turned serious as he looked at me, and I frowned, “I’m going home tomorrow,”

Wow; two punches to the gut in one day. Aren’t I lucky?

“Tomorrow?” I repeated, and he nodded solemnly, “I- I didn’t expect it to be so soon,”

He licked his lips and sighed, “Me neither, but you know my Mom and Dad want to get home, they’ve been away for so long, and Frankie misses his friend. Kevin and Danielle are trying to sort out moving into their own place too. Joe is pretty bummed as well, but why don’t you come with us? You and Julia!”

I looked into his eyes, searching for a sign that he was kidding, but I didn’t find one, “Nick I can’t just go home and tell my Mom that I’m leaving tomorrow. It’s not that simple.” I sighed, “I need time to pack and get sorted, find somewhere to stay-”

“You’d stay with us!” He stood up from the swing and came around to stand in front of me. Then he crouched down in front of my swing and placed his hands on either side of my hips, “Come on, please?”

I exhaled deeply and then shook my head, “You need to go home and get settled in first, it’s not fair on your family...but I’ll come down as soon as I can, I promise you,” I forced a smile onto my face as disappointment flashed across his. He nodded though; I knew he understood even if he wasn’t happy with it.

After that he drove me home, and stayed the night, much to Chris’ disgust; apparently he wasn’t used to boy-girl sleepovers, but my Mom had been allowing it for long enough that she no longer had a problem with it.

Nick’s Mom called the next morning at nine AM to tell him he could meet them at the airport if he wanted, and that she would finish his packing. He thanked her and then went for a shower. I let myself into Julia’s room and found some of Joe’s belongs strewn across the floor; obviously they had had the same idea as us last night.

I searched through her drawers until I found some of Joe’s clothes that he often left here, and then I took them through to my room and laid them out on the bed for Nick to change into. I changed into a pair of jeans and a My Chemical Romance shirt and then left my room.

I found Joe and Julia sat at the breakfast counter eating toast.

“Morning,” Joe smiled when I entered, and I crossed the room to where he was sat, hugging him from behind. He chuckled and spun around on the seat to pull me into a real hug, “Hey, are you okay?”

I smiled, “I’m fine, I just miss my big brother and he’s leaving me again today!” I smirked, “I hate you,” I added, quickly turning my smile into a frown. He chuckled and pulled me in for another hug.

“So I’m guessing by the fact that my baby brother is upstairs naked in your shower cubicle,” He winked, “That you have something to tell me?”

I grinned, “And I’m guessing by the fact that you know all of that, that you know what exactly what that something is,”

He shrugged, “I can assume, but I would prefer for you to tell me,”

“Hmm,” I smiled, “Well I might just keep you guessing,” I joked, turning to the fridge to pull out the orange juice, “You want some Jools?” I shook her head; mouth still filled with toast, and lifted her half full glass of a juice. I gave her thumbs up in response and found two clean glasses to fill up for me and Nick.

When Nick emerged from upstairs I pulled down a box of lucky charms and poured two bowls of the delicious cereal. He thanked me, and then we carried them into the living room and switched the TV on. I received a groan from him as I switched it to an old episode of One Tree Hill.

“Emma, even I have seen this episode about five thousand times, so God knows how many times you have seen it!” He sighed, reaching over me to grab the remote. I swatted his hand away and he tried again.

“Stop it! Mind the cereal!” I yelled, and then giggled and cuddled into his side, sitting on the remote and eating my cereal, “Besides, it’s my favourite episode!”

He rolled his eyes but settled in to watch it, and I could just tell that he was enjoying it. He waited another ten minutes after the episode had finished before he said reluctantly, “I need to get going,”

I didn’t say anything, just took his bowl and glass and carried them to the kitchen and placed them in the sink. He’d followed me, I realised, when I heard him announce to Joe that they needed to leave.

“We’ll come,” I said, spinning around to face him, “Julia can take Joe in her car, and I’ll go with you in your rental, okay?” He grinned and that and nodded, and then disappeared to put his shoes on. I slipped into a pair of my pumps that were by the back door, and then followed him out to the drive way. We talked on the way to the airport, but not about anything interesting. It was all just to stop silence closing in.

He dropped his car off at the rental depot and then we located his family inside. Joe and Julia weren’t far behind us, and thankfully they still had half an hour before they had to check in, so we went to the coffee shop just inside the doors.

“I hope you girls are booking a holiday to Texas soon!” Denise smiled, leaning over to rub both mine and Julia’s hands.

Julia glanced at me and then back at Denise, “Of course! As soon as we can,” She promised and I nodded in agreement. Denise smiled and then turned back to talking to her youngest son.

Time seemed to go by far too fast until they had to go and check in. Julia and I stayed with them in the queue, and when the bags were gone, Denise, Paul, Kevin, Danielle and Frankie hugged us both goodbye and moved through security.

I glanced over at Joe who had Julia in a tight hug; I couldn’t help but feel envious of them. They might be saying goodbye just the same, but Julia had spent the entire of their tour with him. Nick and I had only just gotten back together, and we were already being separated.

“Hey,” Nick said, “I’ll see you soon, I promise. If you can’t come to Texas, then I will be back here as quick as I can,”

I managed a sad smile, “I know, it’s just...I’m just bummed. We’ve not even had time to enjoy being together again,”

He nodded, “I know, it sucks, but absence makes the heart grow stronger!” I glanced up at him and he chuckled. I couldn’t help the giggle that flew out of my mouth, “I love you,”

“I love you too,” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist. I smiled as I felt his lips plant a kiss on the top of my head, “Call me as soon as you land!”

“I will,” He said. We turned as Joe called to him that they had to go. “Bye,”

He bent down and pressed his lips to mine. He didn’t pull away immediately like he usually did; the kiss was deep, urgent and sad. As if he missed me already and he hadn’t even gone yet, but I understood. I felt the same way. When he finally pulled away it felt as if a part of me way going with him, even though I knew I would see him again.

I guess I forgot how hard this whole long distance relationship thing was. It was sort of easier to not have him at all, than to know he was mine but I couldn’t have him.

Julia nudged me as they headed over to security and through it, and then they both turned and waved on the other side. We waved back, and Julia linked arms with me. Once we couldn’t see them anymore she led me out of the airport and back to the car.

The ride home was a quiet one, only the sound of the radio kept the silence away. I noticed Toby’s car on the street and I groaned. He was sat in the living room when I stormed through the door. He jumped up off of the couch and faced me, his face the picture of innocence.

“If you’re here to yell at me, then save it. I’m really not in the mood,” I sighed; I was aware that I sounded defeated.

“I’m not,” He promised, “I’m here to apologise. I want you to be happy Emma, and if being with Nick makes you happy then I can accept it. I can embrace it, in fact, because I want to be your best friend if I can’t be anything else,”

I felt tears spilling over, “Good,” I said, “Because I need a best friend hug right about now!” I managed to get out before heaves of tears broke out. He rushed over to me and pulled me into his arms, and true to his word, he stayed like until I calmed down; just like my best friend.