Pure Morning

14

Jenna exhaled deeply as she slipped her shirt over her head. She was going back to school after a week of not doing so. Everything had struck her to an immense proportion. A proportion she had not even examined until she realized she would have to come in daily contact with her parents. Really, she only had one parent; her lying Mother. Rick was nothing to her. He had never really meant anything to her so she actually felt liberated from him in a way. Though Josie would often act as a second Mother with her overprotective demeanour. During the last few days, Jenna avoided as much contact as she could afford to with Rick and her Mom. She hadn't spoken to either of them since the ordeal. All she wanted was to block everything and everyone from her mind. Up to this point, she was actually doing a decent job, but reality never failed to set in.

Jenna would momentarily find herself wondering who her biological Father could have been. Then she would immediately go back to blocking her thoughts, always searching for her fantasy world where drugs were a very prominent presence. Two days before, Jenna managed to score some ketamine and marijuana from Billy. She'd basically spent her whole paycheck just to make sure she wouldn't risk running out any time soon. The heroine had been used up as a last resort and she now actually found herself to be slightly dope sick. wiL would have gotten furious if he knew what she was up to. In a way, it was actually a good thing he hadn't been around to see how fucked up Jenna was. But then again, if he wouldn't have broken contact with Jenna in the first place, she wouldn't have been forced to take drastic measures. She hated her life now more than ever. Everything just went downhill after the concert, it seemed. She let out a strained sigh as she slipped her leg through her pant leg.

"What the Hell?" she muttered and slipped her leg back out.

A scattered rash had formed around the area where she had injected the ketamine. She hovered closer towards her calf to get a better look. A sharp stinging sensation arose as she tentatively rubbed over the rash with her index finger.

"How the Hell did I get this rash?" she whispered and continued looking closely towards the multiple humps, all of which displayed a bright red, irritated hue.

The rash surrounded a disturbingly dark central scab which seemed to slightly ooze pus. She let out a low gasp and felt tempted to pick and scratch at it, but instead carefully put her leg back in her pant leg. She hadn't taken notice of the rash until that moment, but judging the advanced state it represented, she assumed it had to have been there a few days already. A rash of that grandeur couldn't have possibly appeared overnight. The fact it was as large as it was suddenly gave her a feeling of preoccupation. What if it happened to worsen within the coming days? She had never gotten a rash from drug use before so she didn't really know ho to approach taking care of it. Perhaps consulting someone with adequate experience would help. A doctor maybe? She gave a few pats to the surface of her jeans and sighed as she stood up straight. She felt a sudden wave of dizziness as soon as she straightened her posture, causing her to sit back on the corner of her bed.

"I need to stop getting up so fast," she muttered and gave a few hard swallows.

Lately she simply had not been feeling the same. She was usually more energetic and had an outgoing personality. But recently, Jenna had been feeling weak and irritable most of the time. Her eating habits had also undergone changes within the past weeks. One minute she would crave an odd combination of food, and then the next, the thought of food simply disgusted her. She figured it had to have been the heavy drug intake. Every aspect of Jenna's life was currently in disorder. Really, there was nothing else that could have happened to her to worsen the situation. Even her period was delayed. Jenna needed to find a way of calming down and regaining order in her life. Her return to school would be the first start.

A distant pat against her shoulder caused Jenna to give off a jerking spasm and sit upright, a small trail of drool lingering on the corner of her lips. She had fallen asleep yet again in the middle of her teacher, Mrs. López's lecture. A great way to initiate her return to the class.

"What do you want, Stacey?" she irritably whispered and wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

"The teacher has been giving you looks the past ten minutes. Can you please try to stay awake instead of attracting attention like always?" Stacey said and tried to act like she was paying attention to the lecture.

"Unwanted attention. Sorry, I could hardly sleep last night," Jenna muttered and made slight contact with Mrs. López, what seemed like a worried expression in her teacher's eyes.

Jenna quickly looked down and focused on not putting her head back down on the desk.

"Why couldn't you sleep last night?"

"I don't know, just--"

"Girls! You've been very rude during the entire lecture. Anything I should know about?" Mrs. López interjected and sternly put her arms over her chest.

"No we're fine. Sorry," Jenna said and looked the other way, seeing that the whole class' eyes were glued to her.

"What? Could you all stop staring at me? What am I, the main show?" she sarcastically said.

"More like a freak show," she heard Alice, the girl who always seemed to hate her, mutter.

"Why don't you shut the Hell up and mind your own damn business for once, Alice?" Jenna shot out and rolled her blood-shot eyes.

"Jenna! Calm down and Alice, leave Jenna alone. Please refrain from using that kind of language in my classroom and pay attention to the remainder of the lecture. The bell's about to ring soon anyway, so control yourselves," Mrs. López said, still looking towards Jenna in a distraught way.

"Fine," Jenna grumbled and shot Alice a look of warning.

They never got along and would never be able to. Jenna remained upright, attempting to focus until the bell rang. She then clumsily got up and waited for the tumult to clear up before walking behind Stacey towards the door.

"Hold on a minute, Ms. Mason," Mrs. López said and walked towards Jenna.

"Jenna. Just call me Jenna. Don't ever refer to me by my last name," she muttered in response, again thinking about the lies of her 'parents.'

"Sorry, I'll always call you by your first name if that's what you prefer. I apologize."

"Yeah sure. So what is it you want to talk to me about?" Jenna said and looked at Stacey, motioning for her to wait.

"It's about your prolonged absence. Is everything alright?" she asked with apparent concern.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"Well you just sort of disappeared with no explanation. Some students were asking about you."

"Yeah well I had some family issues to take care of that wouldn't permit me to show up to school."

"I hope everything is alright with your family. But other than your absence, your appearance and beahaviour is also worrisome. Are you sure you're alright?" she asked and looked at Jenna's trembling hands.

Jenna reacted by immediately putting her hands in her pockets and looked down.

"I've just had a lot going on. Don't worry about it, I'm fine. And regarding my behaviour today, sorry about my lack of focus and moody attitude. I promise I'll try to control myself from now on."

"Alright, well just take care of yourself. I really do hope you're doing fine. You're a very bright student and I just don't want to see any of your potential go to waste."

"Yeah sure. See you later," Jenna said and headed towards the door.

"One more thing," Mrs. López said, stopping her.

"Hm?"

"I don't want to see that protruding bruise on your vein ever again. Whatever it is you're doing to yourself, it needs to stop. Or I'll be forced to report it, got it?" she angrily said, eyes on Jenna's arm.

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Not like it's any of your business anyway. But okay..." she trailed off and walked out.

"All of my students concern me and are my business," she heard Mrs. López call out from behind.

She disregarded her teacher and kept urging Stacey to walk faster.

"Okay jeeze, I'm going. You can stop pushing me now," Stacey said once they were outside the building.

"Sorry, just started feeling claustrophobic around all those annoying people."

"Whatever, so why couldn't you sleep last night?" she asked as they walked to the student parking lot.

"I don't know. I just felt weird. Like that cold sweat kind of feeling. Kept tossing back and forth."

"Yeah, you look really tired. You really should lay off the drugs. I mean it Jenna, you're not looking good at all," she said and nodded.

"Speaking of drugs, I have something I want to show you," Jenna said and got in Stacey's car.

"If you think you are going to get me into drugs, think again because--"

"No, I am not planning on doing anything of the sort so calm down and let me finish," she said and began rolling her pant leg up.

"Jenna, what the Hell is that on your leg?!" Stacey shot out as her eyes widened.

"Yeah disgusting, isn't it? It's a rash," she said and winced in pain.

"A rash from what?!"

"Ketamine, what else? I guess I got a bad reaction from injecting repeatedly."

"Repeatedly? Jeeze Jenna, that looks terrible," she sighed and took a closer look.

"Yeah, I know. I was thinking, if you're not busy, is it possible that you can take me to see a doctor for this?" Jenna asked in stifled pain.

"Yeah sure, I'll take you. You're lucky I don't have work or anything planned today. But even then, I'd still take you because it looks like that thing is taking over your entire leg. Plus I'm 18 so we're good to go. Though wouldn't you want to go with a family member instead?"

"Are you crazy? No, of course not! I frankly don't trust any of them. Besides, this rash is from drug use, you think I want them to know about it?!"

"Okay, gotcha. This should definitely serve as an indication that you should really get off drugs," Stacey said and put the car in drive.

"Alright, definitely doesn't look good," the doctor said as he examined Jenna's leg.

"I know, itches like crazy."

"Well, my suggestion is we get some blood work done on you. Just to be more certain of the cause. As well as urine samples. We have a lab in the clinic so you will know the results today," he said as he wrote on a clipboard.

Jenna instantly felt alarmed. They would find out about her drug use with the blood and urine samples. Then what?

"So, are you ready to get your blood work done, Jenna?" the doctor asked, drifting her from her thoughts.

"Hm, what was that?"

"The blood work and the urine samples, Jenna. Are you ready?" he reiterated.

"Uh... sure. Let's go ahead," Jenna said and reluctantly followed the doctor to the lab.

"Alright, we're just going to need you to urinate in this cup. The bathroom's right over there," the nurse said, a hypocritical smile pasted on her face.

"Sure, whatever," Jenna dryly responded and closed the door.

Once she handed the nurse the urine-filled cup, they immediately led her to get the blood work done.

"I'm going to need your arm," the lady said as she dabbed a cotton ball in alcohol.

"No! This arm is better," she said, concealing her bruised arm.

The nurse gave her a weird look and gave a slight nod before wiping Jenna's vein off with the cotton ball. She then tied a band around Jenna's upper arm.

"Please give a few tight squeezes to this ball for me," she instructed as she prepared a syringe.

Jenna's eyes widened as she saw her vein protrude to a bright green from under her skin; a sight she was no stranger to.

Then nurse rapidly extracted four tubes of blood and pressed another cotton ball. Once putting a band-aid over the vein, the nurse led Jenna back to the lobby.

"Just wait out here. Doctor Phillips will call you back to his office in a few minutes to review the results."

"Yeah, fine," Jenna muttered and took a seat next to Stacey.

"So, what did he say about your leg?"

"I'm pretty sure he knows it's a drug-induced rash but he had me get some blood work done and piss in a cup just to have more certainty."

"Did he tell you anything regarding the drugs?" Stacey curiously questioned.

"No, but I know he's not stupid so he must suspect. I look like a fucking junkie, don't I?" she scoffed.

"Don't say that about yourself. You're a beautiful girl. You just haven't made the best decisions lately," Stacey reassured and tapped Jenna's shoulder.

The minutes passed by and only felt more tedious with their unsteady progression. It soon felt like hours had passed by. Jenna began to feel anxious for the doctor to call her back, a slight clammy feeling coming over her palms.

"Relax, it's alright. He'll--"

"Jenna Mason?" the nurse suddenly called out as she entered the lobby.

"Results ready?"

"Yes, follow me."

Jenna felt a lump form at the base of her throat as she waited for the doctor. She was positive he would confront her about the drugs. At this point, she simply could not fathom a life without drugs. She would go insane without them. Footsteps approaching the office interrupted her angst.

"Well, I read over the results and I'll say one thing. You--"

"Yeah I know, drugs. And I also know what else you're gonna tell me. You're gonna tell me I'm harming myself and that I'm too young to be doing this. And that I need to lay off. I know. I know exactly what you're going to say," Jenna irritably said.

"Yes, exactly. Laying off would be the most appropriate thing to do right now," the doctor responded, a serious look on his face.

"But why? If it has to do with my health, I could care less. Drugs are the only thing I have going for me. I'm completely alone..."

"Actually, you're not alone. Jenna, you're pregnant."