Pure Morning

15

Jenna's eyes largely widened as her ears processed what the doctor had just said. Her heart began to rapidly pound to the point she started feeling breathless and nauseated all at once. She must have heard incorrectly. What he said couldn't have been right. She regained her breath and slightly composed herself.

"W-what did you just say? I'm what?" she stammered and began fidgeting uncontrollably.

"Pregnant, Jenna. You're pregnant," he repeated and sternly looked at her.

"No, that can't be. You're probably just lying to give me a 'reason' to quit drugs. Good one. But jeeze, doc. Where's your professionalism? Making up such a serious thing could get your license taken away," she scoffed and gave a nervous laugh.

"You think I'm making this up? Jenna, the results are right in front of me. You can take a look at them if you'd like. Though you probably wouldn't understand them thoroughly enough."

"Oh, so now you're calling me stupid?" she said in disbelief.

"No Jenna, of course not. Here, take a look at the results. See all the way down here? All of your levels are indicative of pregnancy. Not to mention a reasonable level of the hormone, Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, or hCG in your urine. You also seem to be slightly anemic right now so you really need to take care of yourself now more than ever. Your urine also contained traces of THC, and heroine. How long have you been on these drugs? Any past drugs I should know about?"

"I've been smoking weed for over a year now. And the heroine is recent. I have also been doing ketamine, hence the rash. The actual reason I even showed up here," Jenna replied, now somewhat blank.

"Well, it would be in both your best interest and the baby's to--"

"What baby?! Can you please stop saying that?! There is no way I am pregnant. My boyfriend and I haven't even--"

Jenna paused and she remembered what happened with Brian at the concert. It hit her like a blow in the face.

"Are you sure?" she suddenly shot out.

"Sure that you're pregnant? Yes, positive. What is the dilemma, Jenna?"

"I have to go," she mumbled and stood up.

"Whoa, Jenna, hold on. We aren't done assessing your situation. Jenna!" he called out and held on to her arm as she fell forward.

Brian

London

3:32 A.M.

"So how long are you going to be gone?" Brian asked as he watched Steve pack.

"Around four weeks or so. You know, enough time to catch up with the family and see everyone," Steve replied as he stuffed what started out as crease-less shirts in a large suitcase.

"That should be fun," he blankly responded.

Brian's head always seemed to be somewhere else as of recent. He would physically be at a location, yet his thoughts were always somewhere distant. Since getting off drugs, his life actually seemed to disintegrate. Perhaps all the pieces had already been falling apart long ago but how could he have noticed? He was always under the influence to even take notice of those around him. But at least he felt happy when under the influence; breaking away from his introverted outer shell and letting the wild being inside him emerge. He never cared for anything that didn't involve drugs, alcohol, sex, or music. Until Alex was born. As soon as he had found out about Cristi's pregnancy, he vowed to clean himself up. But by then it was already too late; Cristi had already lost faith in him. And time had only proven her right with Brian's multiple relapse during the course of Alex's short life. Really, he couldn't blame her for believing him incompetent to care for their son. After all, he always managed to find a way to ruin everything for her. When he thought about it, the only 'good' thing he had given Cristi was Alex. Other than that, there was nothing.

"Are you alright? You just went all dazed on me," Steve said and paused, staring at Brian in curiosity.

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

Steve remained staring at Brian, as if wanting to say something.

"What?"

"Uh, I was wondering, would you like to come with me to California? It could serve as a good opportunity to distance yourself from things and I don't know, have time to think," he shyly suggested.

Brian looked at him in disbelief.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you out of your damn mind? I just basically got here! And you already expect me to leave? You do realise my son is here and I have to work on my relationship with him. His insane Mother wants to completely take him from me or have you already forgotten about that?" he roughly questioned and began pacing.

"Well it was just a friendly suggestion. You don't have to get all angry."

"Look, you're going to have a great time in California with your family and friends. Just focus on them and stop worrying about me, okay?" Brian said and sighed.

"Fine, you're just an easy person to worry about. But yeah, I look forward to spending some time back home."

"Yep..."

"So... how are you doing?" Steve suddenly asked.

"Well I'm not going to lie, I could be better. You know, the whole Cristi/Alex situation really has my nerves on edge. It's pretty much all I think about, but I am confident it will all get resolved. I just have to remain here. Can't afford to go anywhere else as you'd like me to," he sarcastically said.

"Okay, wasn't planning on forcing you by any means so calm down," Steve said, now visibly frustrated.

Brian stood silent for a few moments, a million thoughts roaming through his mind.

"You know what? I think I should get going now. Again, I wish you a great few weeks back home with your family and friends. I'll see you when you get back," he suddenly said and began walking towards the door.

"Whoa, you practically just got here. I don't have to be at the airport until 9 in the morning. Why the rush?"

"Just have to take care of some things. Sorry I came here so late. Enjoy your stay at California," he said and rushed out of Steve's apartment.

There was nothing he really had to take care of, considering the hours of the morning. All he was truly feeling at the moment, was an intense craving; a craving he hadn't felt in close to two years. Two years sounded like a short period of time for the average individual, but for Brian it was an eternity. Upon entering his home, the first thing Brian did was search for the stashed baggie of marijuana he had kept since officially declaring himself 'sober.' He had decided to keep the weed around as a test of will; just to see if he could resist the temptation of having it so near. Up to this point he had done a decent job of resisting. But the craving was immense. He shakily rolled a joint and was about to light it when something white caught his eye; cocaine.

"Jenna, Jenna?"

"Here, hold it closer," a faded voice said as the odor became more pronounced.

"Ugh," Jenna uttered and winced as the ammonia flooded through her nostrils.

"There you are. Had us worried there for a second," the doctor said and motioned the nurse to leave.

"That smelled awful. What happened?"

"Well, you passed out a few minutes ago. And we were talking about--"

"Wait. Please tell me this is all a dream. One big, horrendous nightmare because I'm not pregnant," Jenna shot out and sat upright.

"Jenna, I'm sorry to inform you that you are. Well I really shouldn't be sorry because a pregnancy is a beautiful thing."

"Uh doc, you do realize I'm a fucking teenager, right? And obviously an addict. I'm in no position to have a child. Not like I would ever be, either. I can't stand kids. They're so disgusting and annoying," she said and groaned at the thought of dealing with a pregnancy.

"Well we already talked about the results. I'm going to give you a referral to a gynaecologist's office as well as the address so you can have a proper check-up done, okay?" he said as he wrote on a piece of paper.

"Jeeze..." Jenna said and felt a surge of goosebumps taker over her skin.

She couldn't believe this was actually happening to her. How could she have been so stupid?

"Also, you'll be able to get your first ultrasound done in a few weeks so you'll know with more certainty the state of your baby," he continued as he wrote.

"Here you go," he said and handed Jenna the papers.

"Uh, doc. I have a question," Jenna nervously began.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Exactly how far along am I?"

"Well, the level of hCG in your urine indicates right around four weeks."

"Four weeks? So about a month?"

"Yes, right about a month. Still quite early. Early enough to prevent many things and take precautions. That, or severely hurt your baby. I want you to consider something, Jenna."

"What?"

"With the traces of heroine found in your urine, well it worried me. It was a significant amount.You aren't addicted are you?"

"Oh please, no. That was all just experimentation. I won't ever do it again," she assured.

"Well just in case, I would suggest going with a weekly dosage of methadone, a synthetic narcotic that can be used as a substitute for heroine without the harmful effects. It won't harm the baby, however--"

"Look, I really have to go now. Thanks for uh... everything. I have to go digest all of this," Jenna nervously said and took off.

"Wait, you still have to pick up the ointment for the rash at--"

"Forget the stupid rash," she muttered and made her way out to the lobby, where an anxious Stacey awaited her return.

"Finally! What did they tell you about the results?" she eagerly questioned.

"Forget the results for now. Just take me home, now," Jenna replied and tugged Stacey towards the parking lot.

"Jenna, could you please tell me what the results said already? You've been silent the whole damn ride. I'm starting to get scared," Stacey said and pulled over by the curb.

"I'm pregnant, okay? There, now you know," she yelled and flung the car door open.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're what?"

"Pregnant! Now let go of me so I can walk to my house," Jenna said and roughly shrugged.

"No, we have to talk about this. I didn't know you and wiL were that serious. Does he know?"

"Uh, no you idiot. I just found out so how the Hell would he know?" she irritably said.

"Okay, sorry. Dumb question. But wow, Jenna..."

"Wow, what?"

"Just wow. I mean, you're so young and I don't know, it's just crazy," she said and nodded.

"In case you haven't noticed, teenage pregnancy is becoming more common every day, so what's so fucking crazy about it?"

"Just your situation. wiL better come back and own up to his responsibilities. When I see him, I swear I'm--"

"You're not going to do anything because he's not the father!" she yelled without thinking.

Stacey immediately froze, her jaw gaped.

"He's not? Holy shit then who is?! Wait... Matt?!"

"No, you're so stupid. I would never let that fucker touch me like that. Just leave me alone!" Jenna yelled and slammed the car door.

As soon as she walked inside the house, she immediately went upstairs to her room and locked the door.

"What the Hell am I gonna do?" she hissed and paced in circles around the room.

The news came over her like an avalanche. There was no way she would be able to deal with this situation. And worse than anything, she would never come in contact again with Brian. How would she even go about telling her family? She then stopped pacing and stood in front of the mirror, slightly lifting her shirt.

"Fuck, I'm going to look hideous," she whispered and grimaced as she pictured herself with a swollen abdomen. She roughly tugged her shirt back down and sat on her bed.

All she wanted to do was rewind everything that had happened within the past month. There were so many things she wanted to undo. But she had to face reality. Her horrible reality. Her phone suddenly vibrated from underneath her, causing her to give off a slight flinch. As she opened the text, her heart fluttered; it was wiL.

"Uh, hey. I know I've been missing and you probably don't want to talk to me. But... I miss you and I've been thinking. We need to catch up. Just let me know if you want to see me. Again, I miss you. And I love you. -wiL"

Jenna felt like her heart had just stopped. wiL had finally decided to contact her.

"Perfect timing," she muttered and threw the phone on the ground.

She lay back on the bed and tightly shut her eyes; hoping that everything would disappear by the morning.

Jenna was exhausted. No matter how hard she tried, she could hardly get any sleep during the night. Her thoughts simply wouldn't let her do so. She did manage to get what seemed like two hours of sleep. Before she knew it, her nausea acted as an alarm and jolted her awake before her actual alarm even had a chance to ring. She spent a considerable amount of time with her face hovered over the toilet bowl, gagging uncontrollably. Once the vomiting finally came to a stop, Jenna just sat against the corner of the bathroom, painfully rocking back and forth.

"I'm getting rid of this."