Pure Morning

19

Approximately another month had gone by, adding more baggage to Jenna's waist line. She now had a slight protruding bump on her abdomen. For someone who had always been considerably light-weight, it was now becoming quite obvious she had gained weight. Lately she had been wearing larger shirts that bagged around her torso, in order to conceal her bumpy abdomen. No one at home had noticed any abnormality in her behaviour so that reassured Jenna. Then again, they had never considered her behaviour 'normal' so that could have been the reason for their oblivion. The time had come for her to tell wiL about her pregnancy. She had decided she couldn't wait any longer. She was steadily growing and it would soon become obvious to everyone.

A few people at school had already been giving her wondering stares and she would see them mutter and snicker afterward. Maybe it was just her paranoia, but Jenna knew some people were aware she was pregnant. It would only be a matter of time before the news spread around the school and everyone would know, leading wiL or Josie to possibly hear it from someone else. Having this in mind, Jenna had bought a pregnancy test a few days earlier and hadn't even bothered opening it. As soon as she bought it, she rushed home and hid the small box under a stack of pillows on her bed. Her sole purpose for buying the pregnancy test was to make things more believable. That way there would not be any reason to doubt her. As she sat outside of the restaurant sipping a small coffee, she considered all of this. She swallowed a hard lump in her throat as she remembered she had slid the pregnancy test in her purse in the morning. She slightly grimaced at the thought of opening it and using it, tangibly reminding herself of her unfortunate state. She figured she would use the test after work, shortly before wiL would come to pick her up.

"Are you okay?" Stacey suddenly asked as she worriedly looked at Jenna.

"No. I mean, would you be if you were in my situation?" Jenna irritably responded, feeling slightly sick.

"No, I'm pretty sure I would shit my pants," she dryly said.

"Gee, thanks for your subtle reassurance."

"Not to make things sound worse, but you did bring this situation upon yourself. No one told you to go to that concert and fuck the lead singer back stage. Just sayin'," Stacey said and took a long sip from her iced tea.

"I was--"

"Yeah, yeah, I know exactly what you're going to say. You were drunk. Or how is it that you always put it, wasted?"

"You know, the last thing I need right now is you mocking me. You're only making me feel more like shit. Yeah I know, I fucked up majorly at the concert. And believe me, I'm really paying for it right now. But what choice do I have now? What's done is done."

"You can make up a huge, massive lie by telling wiL you're pregnant with his child, like I told you to do. Speaking of which, aren't you supposed to do that today? Because you're really starting to show," she said as she stared at Jenna's bump, slightly nodding.

"Quit staring at my belly like that. You're only making me more self conscious. And yeah, I'm going to tell wiL I'm pregnant tonight. As soon as he picks me up..." she trailed off, uncrossing her legs and switching sides.

"Hm, did you bring the pregnancy test?"

"Yep, it's in my purse. Gosh I'm so nervous, Stacey. I don't even know how I'm gonna go about telling him. Like, I have to do it in a certain way," she said and felt her lower lip give a slight tremble.

"Well how do you think he's going to react to the news?"

"To be honest, I have no idea. We've never really spoken about kids. So I don't know if he's fond of children or hates them."

"Like you do?" Stacey asked.

"Like I do, what?"

"Like you hate children. Because you hate them, don't you?"

Jenna sat silent for a brief moment, contemplating her feelings towards small children. It was true, she had never liked them and hated being around them. In all honesty, they actually repulsed her and the mere notion of having one currently growing inside of her made her wince. She knew she definitely wasn't motherly material, which was the sole reason she had wanted to go through with an abortion in the first place.

"Well I don't like them. I'll tell you that much."

"How come?"

"For obvious reasons. They just annoy the Hell out of me and bitch about everything. Plus, I'm simply too young to be a Mom," she muttered and rolled her eyes.

"Well then why did you decide to keep the baby and not go through with the abortion?" Stacey curiously questioned.

"Hey, I never said I was keeping it. That procedure just really intimidated me. I don't like kids, but the idea of coldly battering the fetus to death just seems cruel, don't you think?" Jenna said and felt a trail of goosebumps course through her skin.

"So you're not keeping it? What's the point of telling wiL then?" Stacey said in disbelief.

"Well, adoption is something that has been on my mind for some time now. I just want to talk to wiL about it first and see how he feels about it. Because let's face it, Stacey, do we really look like we would make good parents? In all probability, wiL will agree anyway and we can rid ourselves of the responsibility with adoption. Find a set of way better and more capable parents than we could ever be."

"I can't believe you, Jenna. You'd honestly rather give your kid away to complete strangers than take responsibility for it? That's just stupid," Stacey angrily retorted.

"Well then what do you want me to do? You want me to keep the damn kid and raise it horribly? I'm a shitty person and you know that," she said as tears welled in her blood-shot eyes.

She had not slept in days, her problematic situation always clouding her mind with preoccupation. Her physical state also made her feel uncomfortable with nausea always crawling up her throat.

"You're not a shitty person. You are just immature at times. Most of the time, actually. I'm hoping this situation will help both you and wiL to mature," she said and looked at her watch.

"Wipe your tears and rinse your face off. We've got to get back to work," she said and handed Jenna a tissue from her compact package in her purse.

They then stood up and made their way back inside the restaurant.

Jenna deeply exhaled as she urinated in a stall of the restaurant's restroom. Her shift had finally ended and all she wanted to do was go forth with everything and have it be over with. Scattered drops of urine splattered outside the rim of the small plastic cup the kit had come with as she struggled to keep a steady hand. She was nervously shaking and had made a mess around the stall's toilet. She managed to collect enough urine to dip the applicator in. She then carelessly cleaned the stall's surroundings and slipped her pants back on. As she read the instructions, she found herself hoping the result would appear as negative. Though she knew that wouldn't happen but maybe if she pictured it hard enough, it would. A few minutes later, a small blue plus sign appeared on the digital screen, indicating that she was indeed pregnant. Surprise, surprise. She stormed out of the restroom, flustered and angry, stuffing the pregnancy test back in her purse. As she rapidly walked, she bumped into Matt, her boss' chest.

"Whoa, why the rush?" he commented and coolly chuckled.

"What, I just want to go home. Long day," she said and pulled her hand from his.

"Can you take a few minutes from your rush?"

"For what? I really have to go. wiL's waiting for me."

"Oh, I think he can wait just a few minutes," Matt said and lightly tugged on Jenna's hand, leading her into his office.

"Sit," he instructed and closed the door.

"No it's fine. I'll stand. Why did you drag me in here?" she said in annoyance, glancing at her cell phone's clock.

"Oh come on, Jenna. It's been a long while and you know that. Plus, I got reports that you majorly fucked up today. Heard you even spilled hot soup on a customer's lap," he said, nonchalant.

"Oh please, Matt. Don't make me do that again. I honestly haven't been feeling well lately; have a lot of shit going on in my life right now," she said and tensed as she saw him walk around the room.

"That's not my problem, doll. We have a fucking deal and you know that every time you fuck up at work, you are obligated to make it up to me. It's my money you're blowing down the drain with each screw-up."

"Can't I make it up to you in another way? Like you can take money from my next paycheck. Sound fair?" she nervously proposed.

"No. Doesn't sound fair at all, bitch. Now get over here and pay your end of the deal," he roughly said and walked up to Jenna, harshly pressing his lips against her neck, cornering her against a wall.

"Matt, get off me! Stop!" she said as she struggled to get him away.

He disregarded her pleas and whimpers and proceeded to unbutton her shirt with one hand while sliding the other hand down her pants.

"Stop it, I'm pregnant!" she shrieked and managed to knee his crotch.

He instantly let her go, his face reddening as he bent down in anguish.

"You're, what?" he said, pained.

"Pregnant, you stupid fuck. So don't you dare put your fucking hands on me ever again," she said and buttoned her shirt back up.

Matt composed himself and straightened his posture.

"When did this happen?" he said, shocked.

"Uhhh, when my boyfriend and I fucked over and over again for three hours straight," she mockingly said.

"Not that it's any of your concern..."

She nervously looked towards Matt as he remained silent, brow furrowed in anger.

"Get out," he suddenly said.

"What?"

"Yeah, get the Hell out of here and never come back. No wonder you looked so fat with that round bump. I should have known," he said and looked at her in disgust.

"So you're firing me?" she said in disbelief.

"Just because I didn't let you rape me?"

"No, you idiot. Simply because I don't want a pregnant bitch slowing things down around here, that's why. Can you get the Hell out of here already?" he said and extended his arm toward the door.

"Well, are you gonna pay me what you owe me at least?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. You'll be getting your last paycheck in the mail soon. Now leave and don't ever show your face around here again. Got it?"

"Fine then. Fuck you and your mediocre restaurant. Not like I enjoyed working here anyway. Dealing with your sick little games, you sick fuck. I hope to never see you again, pervert," Jenna said and slammed the door shut as she practically ran out in angered tears.

wiL's headlights instantly became visible to her as she stepped onto the curb. She took a deep breath as she walked up to his car and got inside.

"Hey, babe," he greeted her and kissed her.

"How was your day?" he asked and began driving out of the parking lot.

"wiL, can you please pull into a parking spot? There's something I need to talk to you about," she hesitantly said and wiped her tear-stained face with the back of her hand.

"Oh? I'm not sure I'm liking your tone. Is everything alright, Jenna?" he said and pulled into a nearby parking spot.

"No, everything isn't alright," she said and sniffed.

"Well, what is it? You're starting to scare me, Jenna."

"I got fired," she began.

"Oh, that's it? Phew, I thought you were going to say something dealing with breaking it off with me. Not that you getting fired isn't a bad thing. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll find another job somewhere else. I'll help you. So don't sweat it okay, babe?" he tried to reassure.

"That isn't the only thing," she continued, lightly sobbing.

"Shit, what else is wrong?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"This," she said and pulled the pregnancy test out of her purse.

"Okay...?" he asked, knowing where this conversation was heading.

"Take it and look at it," she said and handed it to him.

"I don't understand this shit. What does it mean?"

"Oh please, wiL. Don't play stupid. There's a fucking plus sign on the screen. I think you know what that means," she said and continued crying.

"Is this yours?"

"No shit, wiL. If you really want to hear me say it, fine. I'm pregnant. Pregnant with your baby," she said and snatched the applicator from him, stuffing it back inside her purse.

"Pregnant? Jenna, seriously?" he said with wide eyes.

"Yeah, you think I would make this up? Want to look at my bump?" she said and lifted her shirt.

"Holy shit, Jenna," he said and put his hand over her abdomen.

"Holy shit?"

"Didn't you say there was nothing for us to worry about? That I didn't need to use protection? You told me you were on the pill."

"I never said I was on the pill. You just made that assumption."

"But you said not to worry."

"I got caught up in the moment, okay? And now I'm fucking pregnant and so scared. And I know you most likely want nothing to do with this baby, or me for that matter. I'll probably end up putting it up for adoption anyway."

"Hold on! I never said I didn't want anything to do with you and the baby. You just took me by surprise, that's all," he said and began rubbing her belly, a slight smile now across his lips.

"So this means you're not angry? Are you okay with this?"

"I'm not gonna lie, our lives are kind of complicated for a baby right now. Especially with the fact your parents hate me. I mean, what will they say? Whatever they say, I'm with you, Jenna. And I'm with the baby as well. We're not putting it up for adoption, just so you know."

"Yeah, I don't know how I'm gonna tell my parents..."

"Babe, let's go to your house and give them the news. Let's get it over with," he said and began pulling out of the parking lot.

"But--"

"Shh, don't worry. I won't let them give you shit for it," he said and brought her hand up to his lips.

As he parked the car near the curb, wiL unbuckled his seat belt and unlocked the car doors.

"Wait, let me go in first. To ease them in, you know?"

"Are you sure? I don't mind being there the whole time."

"I'm sure, just wait here. And thanks for not being a jerk about this," Jenna said and kissed him on the lips before heading towards the house.

"There you are," Rick said as soon as she walked in.

"Shouldn't your shift have ended over an hour ago?" he questioned.

She saw her Mom's face as she agreed with him, soothingly stroking his back.

"I got fired. So I obviously had a hard time dealing with that. But that isn't the main thing I want to tell you. You guys, I'm--"