Pure Morning

7

"And who might you be?" Brian questioned as he looked at Jenna with wide, puzzled eyes.

She softly closed the door behind her and stood staring at him, not quite able to control the wide grin the inevitably formed across her face. She stared at his pale face, particularly at his expectant large blue-green eyes that seemed to be burning a hole right through her forehead. She then began looking down towards his thin abdomen, his black button-up only making him look thinner, and down to his matching black shoes.

"You dropped something," he said and continued curiously looking at her.

"Oh yeah," she said, snapping out of her trance.

"Uh, that's actually the reason I'm here to see you; this shirt," she said and nervously bent down to pick the shirt up.

"A shirt? And what does that have to do with me?" he said and let out a low sniff.

He crossed his legs and leaned back against the navy blue sofa.

"A lot, actually. It's a Placebo tee. Wanna see?" she said and held the shirt up, her hand slightly shaking.

"Sure, bring it over," he said, making room for her.

Jenna eagerly walked towards him and sat down, resuming to stare.

"You wanted to show me something, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah, sorry. Reason I came here was to show you this piece of merch. I think you should add this design to your other ones," she said, now trying to come up with anything she could to validate her being there.

Brian clumsily took the shirt from Jenna's hand and unfolded it, staring at it with dazed eyes.

"So? What do you think?" Jenna asked and kept staring at his face.

She couldn't take her eyes off it. A huge urge to touch his face was now coming over her. But she had to refrain so as not to make the encounter all the more awkward. Brian continued looking closely at the shirt, turning it at every angle.

"Well it's a nice shirt. Looks hand-made. Did you make it?"

"Uh... yes! Yes, I came up with the design all myself. Pretty creative, aren't I?" she smugly said and put her hand on his knee.

Her eyes widened and she rapidly removed her hand.

"Sorry," she muttered and turned her head to casually look around the room.

"So, where are the other guys?" she asked while looking around.

"Eating. Then soundcheck. We go on in around two hours," he said and nodded in distaste.

"So you don't want to go on?" she said and slid closer to him without noticing.

"It's not that, it's just that I don't really feel in the mood, you know? Things have just happened and to be quite frank, I want to leave more than anything. You know?"

They sat in awkward silence for a few seconds, Jenna's nerves now starting to click in.

"So you're a merch girl, or something?" he suddenly said as he intently looked at Jenna.

"Hm? What was that?"

"You're not that great of a listener, are you? I asked if you're a merch girl," he said and lightly laughed.

His laugh, it was giddy, yet strangely soothing at the same time.

"Yeah, uh-huh. I've been looking to show you guys some new merch. Just wanted to know what you thought. So yeah, you could say I'm a merch girl," she said as she looked down at the shirt on his lap.

"That girl I stole this shirt from is pretty damn talented," she thought, her eyes now stinging from the bright shocking blue of the letters.

Sure this shirt was pretty much what had gotten her to this point. But at the back of her mind, she couldn't help but sense a hint of guilt for having stolen that girl's shirt and then taking credit for designing it. But hey, she was now sitting next to Brian Molko; was that not what she had longed to do for years? Now that she had actually accomplished her goal, why bother feeling guilty? In order to get where one wanted to be in life, one had to take advantage of every possible situation. If you can derive advantage from it, go for it. That was the belief Jenna held firm and stuck to since she was a little girl. It usually got her far, too; this being the primary example. She was already sitting a mere few inches from the man. Now what?

"Why so pensive?" he said and waved his hand toward her.

"Sorry. Kind of zoned out on you for a while there. Well, not on you. Uh, yeah... you know what I mean," she muttered, now wanting to slap herself across the face for acting so clumsily in his presence.

Why was she behaving so awkwardly? Was it because she was currently speaking to a man she considered to be her hero?

"It's fine. Want something to drink? Sorry for offering just now. Rude of me," he said and nodded towards the small cooler next to the sofa, on Jenna's side.

"Sure, what do you have?"

A sheepish grin was soon displayed on Brian's face.

"What, did I say something funny?"

"No, it's just that all I have in there is beer. Not sure if you drink."

"Ha, that's perfect! I drink all the time!" she excitedly said and opened the cooler, pulling two chilled beers out.

"Want one?" she said and extended her arm upward.

"Well I've been drinking quite a bit lately, but one more beer can't hurt, can it?" he said and held his hand up, as if to catch the beer.

"You want me to throw it?"

"Yeah, otherwise I wouldn't have my hand in the air, now would I?" he sarcastically said and rose his eyebrow.

"Okay, if it hits you don't blame me. I'm already a little tipsy so my aim won't be good," she warned and let out a stifled chuckle.

"That makes two of us. My catching will be shite. Just toss it over already."

Jenna loosely tossed the beer and closed the cooler, crookedly walking back towards Brian.

"You caught it?"

"Yep, but I haven't opened it yet. It will cause a huge mess all over the carpet. See how fizzed it is?"

Jenna sat down and turned the bottle so that the label now faced her.

"Hoegaarden? And where is this beer from?" she curiously questioned while turning the bottle.

"Belgium. Way better than that bottled piss you Americans call beer. Go ahead, try it," he said and snapped the lid off his beer, its contents fizzing to the top and running down all over the bottle.

"See, doll? Knew this would happen, tsk," he said and held the bottle outward.

"Bottled piss, nice one. Quick, drink it before it spills everywhere," she said as she opened her beer, slowly raising it to take a tentative sip.

She squinted her eyes shut as she felt a kick at the back of her throat from where the tough liquid had passed.

"Strong, isn't it? Big difference, I know," he said with a satisfied grin.

"Yeah, it's strong. Wasn't really expecting that burning sensation. But it's good, thanks," she said and continued sipping the beer.

A thought then occurred to her; they were completely alone. Yes, alone. And the more she looked at him; every gesture he would make, those big piercing blue eyes that seemed to only get bigger with each blink, just the way his lips would move as he spoke, the more she urged to get closer to him. She took the last few sips of the beer and set the bottle down on the ground. She slid closer towards him and took hold of his bottle, setting it down as well. Brian gave her a confused look and bent down to pick the bottle up.

"No, stop," she said and leaned towards his face, lightly pressing her lips against his. She opened her eyes to see his reaction and saw his eyes were closed so she didn't bother refraining. Pressing her lips closer against Brian's Jenna slid the rest of her body closer to his and wound her arms around his neck, her fingers entangling themselves in the back of his mullet-like hair. His hands soon came over hers and pulled them slightly away. Jenna froze and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Darling, now what do you think you're doing?" he said, regaining his breath.

"Now don't even tell me you don't want to do this. You want this just as badly as I do," she slurred and shrugged her hands from his grip, moving them towards his shirt.

She began unbuttoning his shirt, while giving him occasional seductive glances, seeing he had no intention of stopping her. Once his shirt was unbuttoned down all the way, Jenna resumed to start removing her own clothes, slipping her cami off and leaning back against Brian's now-bare chest. She tentatively kissed her way up from his abdomen to his neck and soon felt his hands roaming their way up to her pants, unbuttoning them. Jenna let out a low moan as soon as she felt his cool fingers caress her lower abdomen in his attempt to slip her pants off. She didn't exactly know what was running through her mind, but at this point, she only wanted to go further with what she had initiated. And the fact that Brian seemed to be going along with it, only fueled her desire more.

As soon as she felt the vibration of her jeans unzip against her skin, she instinctively straightened her legs out and slipped them off while simultaneously gently sucking on Brian's neck. He lightly put his hand against her lower abdomen, pushing her slightly away. Jenna looked at his every movement, her thoughts shifting back and forth. She knew her sister must have been searching for her and that she should have never come this far. wiL then came to her thoughts. Somehow, wiL was always present in her mind even when she didn't want him to be. The last thing she wanted to feel was guilt.

"We should stop this," she whispered, breathless.

Brian stood up in a crouched position and gave her a slight nod.

"Lean back," he said as he finished removing his clothes.

Jenna felt her heart rate elevate to the point where she could have sworn her heart would burst right out of her chest at any minute. She obeyed without fully processing her movements and soon felt the warmness of his smooth skin over hers. She gave a slight wince as she felt the pinching of his fingers against her thighs as he harshly slipped her panties off. As soon as her panties were fully slipped off, she parted her legs without thinking. Brian gave her a suggestive smirk and knowingly forced his erection inside of her. She let out a pained gasp as she felt the skin break inside her and reacted by pulling Brian's body closer towards her, nails digging trails across his back. His thrusts grew faster and repetitive, no longer hurting her but instead intensely satisfying her. He then swiftly extracted and collapsed against the other end of the sofa, his chest rapidly elevating up and down as he heavily panted. Jenna flung herself on top of him, heavily breathing as well and closed her eyes. She didn't even want to look at him. She had gone too far.

Tracing the curves of his lips with her index finger, Jenna looked into Brian's sleeping face. She moved on to outline every contour of his face wit her finger and observed closely; just how empty his expression was. Though she noticed his eyebrows were slightly furrowed, as if there might be some masked wprry roaming through his dreams. She then realized someone could have walked in at any given moment. No one could see her here, especially in this state. She slowly removed herself from on top of Brian and quietly slipped her clothes on, eyes cautiously scanning her surroundings. She then looked at Brian with doubt.

"No one can see him like this," she whispered and began picking his clothes up.

She put his clothes back on half-way, holding her breath throughout the entire time. She couldn't afford to have him wake up and see her. She couldn't be seen by anyone. Once finished, she gave him one last look and gave him a light kiss on the lips. She tip-toed her way to the door and made her way out to the increasing tumult of the now-crowded arena. Yes, doors had opened. Now to find her sister. Jenna suddenly remembered the shades she had stolen. She left them in the dressing room. But no, she was not going back in there. Brian was most likely awake and disoriented by now. Once discreetly making her way to the floor, she looked around to see if she could spot Josie. What would she come up with? She wasn't sure of anything at this point. What she was sure of, was that she had just lost her virginity to Brian Molko. And that was something she would not be able to undo.