Pure Morning

9

"Are you sure you're alright? I mean, you suddenly got really pale. Jenna, hello! What's wrong?" Josie yelled over the multitude of voices.

Jenna stood on her wobbly feet and stared at her phone, debating on whether or not to reply to wiL.

"Come on, answer me! You've been staring at that phone for hours, jeeze. Did someone from home text? Was it Mom?" she asked, now slightly alarmed.

"No, no. It wasn't Mom. It's wiL, he's somewhere around here. He just texted me, saying he's looking for me," Jenna said, her mind still debating.

"Oh, him? I thought it could have been Mom because she found out we're here, or something," she sighed, relieved.

"Yeah, she's not going to find out so calm down," Jenna retorted and resumed staring at her phone.

"Okay, whatever. But why are you upset? I thought you would be happy since your pot head boyfriend showed up."

"Shut up and leave wiL alone. He's pretty much the most amazing guy I've met. Well, second to-- Yeah, but I just didn't expect him to show up. He said a couple of times that he wasn't coming so I'm just surprised, that's all," Jenna said, now feeling herself slightly perspire.

"You just seem, I don't know, flustered. Worried, maybe? And second to who?" Josie curiously asked.

"Huh?"

"You said wiL is the most amazing guy you've met second to someone. Who?"

"Oh, no one. You must have heard wrong. I didn't say second to anyone. I'm just gonna answer him."

Jenna didn't exactly know what to respond to wiL. She did want him to be with her during Placebo's set, yet after what happened in the morning, everything would seem awkward. Especially since she was now in such close proximity to the stage. In any other circumstance, she would have loved to be this close, taking in every moment, every lyric and expression she could. She would have felt like the happiest person on earth. But things were different. Funny how one mistake can change your perspective on any event. She reluctantly slid her phone open and slowly typed her response, now actually wanting to leave the festival more than anything.

"I'm all the way up front. Good luck getting through the people and finding me," she typed and sent the message.

She then turned her head to face the stage, which was literally a mere few feet from where she was standing.

"Are you ready?" she suddenly heard Josie say.

"Ready for what?" she retorted, irate.

"Uh, to see Placebo. What else? And what the Hell is it with you, anyway? This whole time you've been acting so strange. I mean, you're already odd to begin with, but right now you're just a sack of nerves, damn," she muttered and pressed the back of her hand against Jenna's slightly clammy forehead.

"Could you please not touch me?!" she hissed and harshly slapped Josie's hand away from her face.

In the utter state of paranoia she currently found herself in, the slightest touch from anyone was enough to set Jenna off. She gave Josie a bitter glare and began looking behind her, hoping to actually not see wiL anywhere around the premises. In a way, it was good that she was all the way up at the front; it would make it all the more hard for wiL to find her. The guilt she would have to deal with at seeing him was not the least bit appealing. How would she even look him in the eye? It was perfectly clear to Jenna that wiL truly cared for her. Sure, he may have sometimes acted like a complete jerk, but the fact of the matter was that he loved Jenna. She could always see it in his eyes, those yellow golden-brown eyes. At seeing he wasn't anywhere to be found within the tumult behind her, Jenna gave a weak smile and turned to face the stage once more.

"You know, you're pretty much a complete bitch," Josie said and irritably nodded.

"Why am I a bitch now?" she shot out.

"I just wanted to see what is wrong with you by feeling your forehead. You didn't have to slap my hand off the way you did."

"Sorry, it's just that it's really loud and the claustrophobia puts me in a bad mood. I already told you," she said, hesitant to look towards the now set-up stage.

Placebo would be coming out in a few minutes.

"Yeah, well that doesn't give you any reason to treat me like shit. Maybe all you need is to see Placebo already. Perhaps that will cool you down and you'll be less of a bitch afterward," she sighed and began rapidly tapping the barricade, clearly impatient.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm just not feeling well."

"I'm sure you'll feel a Hell of a lot better once Placebo comes out, which is literally in a few minutes. Seconds, I should say."

Before Jenna had the chance to respond, she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. Suddenly, progressive screams and hollers began erupting from every direction, particularly coming from Josie, who was now jumping up and down while excitedly swinging her arms in the air. Jenna didn't even want to look up but felt forced to do so. This was her dream, so she pretty much had to look. Even if Brian did catch a glimpse of her. He probably wouldn't even remember her, considering how inebriated he seemed.

"Yeah, he definitely won't remember, let alone even see me," she thought and turned her attention to the stage, where she saw Steve take his place on his drum set.

Stefan then smoothly walked towards his microphone and swung his bass over his head, his lanky figure looking even longer in person. Her heart began to flutter, beating very rapidly as she tried her hardest to compose herself before Brian came out. And there he was, lowly walking across the stage, the shades Jenna left behind crookedly placed on his face. She let out a low gasp and slightly looked down. Why did she have to leave those damn shades behind? She would have been able to wear them to conceal her appearance. That way, the likelihood of Brian recognizing her would be slim. Brian gave a slight wave and then resumed to take his place, pressing his foot over multiple guitar pedals on the ground. He then slowly brought his face to the microphone and clutched it with his right hand.

"We are Placebo, and we come in peace," he said and snatched a guitar pick from the microphone stand.

The intro to Infra-Red then began to blare right through Jenna's ears, only causing more loud girlish screams to arise. She looked over at Josie to see her wildly singing along on the tips of her feet. Jenna's own lips were tracing over each lyric without her even noticing. She was then slammed against the barricade as the torrent of people behind her crowded up in a cluster, screaming to the point where Jenna swore her arm would unwittingly raise and hit someone at any moment. She winced as she felt the rusted metal collide against her sternum and lowly cursed. She then looked back up at the stage with squinted eyes and couldn't help but smile. She was currently witnessing her favourite band ever on stage. How could she not smile? Once the song came to its closing, Brian turned around and walked towards the rear of the stage. Jenna stood, observing his every movement. Out of nowhere, two arms wound tightly around her waist.

"I'm coming up on infra-red," was whispered in her ear.

Startled, she flinched and jerked her head back. At seeing it was wiL, she gave him a lackadaisical glance and put her hands over his, attempting to unwind them from her waist.

"How the Hell did you manage to find me?" she angrily muttered and put wiL's arms down.

"Shoving, squeezing through, and crowd surfing. I'm a genius, what can I say?" he smugly said and kissed her neck.

She slightly pulled away and saw Josie glaring at the two of them.

"Aren't you gonna say hi?" she sarcastically called out and rolled her eyes.

"Didn't even notice ya there! But hey, anyway," wiL cockily answered and turned his attention back to Jenna.

"I have a surprise for you," he whispered against the side of her neck.

"Huh, what is it?"

"Not telling you right now. You wouldn't be able to hear me-- He was cut off by Brian's voice over the microphone.

"And just how are we doing today, San Diego?" he called out, earning wild shrieks in response.

"I'd take that as good. Now this song happens to be about something I personally wouldn't recommend for any of you. This is Special K!" He yelled, leaving Jenna completely mesmerized since she could now see his beautiful bright eyes.

"Our song, baby," wiL said and tightly clung Jenna against him.

Throughout the entire song, Jenna had her eyes glued to the stage. It was almost as if she had managed to block everything and everyone from her thoughts except for Placebo. Of course, she felt wiL constantly hold on to her, but she just couldn't believe she was currently witnessing this. It almost made her forget her stupidity of the morning. As she suddenly thought about what happened in the morning again, her paranoia returned. For a slight second, she saw Brian's eyes meet hers, confusion displayed in his expression. Had he recognized her? She instantly looked the other way and tried to ignore the situation. Throughout the rest of their set, Jenna tried her hardest not to directly look at Brian and looked everywhere else she could. Though a few times, she inevitably looked at him to see him looking right at her. Especially during their performance of Happy You're Gone. She wanted to disappear off the face of the earth. She now had no doubt he had seen and remembered her. Apparently he wasn't all that drunk. As soon as their set ended, she decided she would immediately leave. She couldn't remain there and risk having another encounter. He would most likely have a flood of questions for her. Not only that, wiL couldn't find out.

"We have one more song for you. Thank you guys for being so great. This is Song To Say Goodbye..." he trailed off, his eyes still somehow directed towards Jenna.

Maybe it was just her paranoia, but she felt his eyes were on her through most of the set. As the song ended, Jenna let out a stifled sigh of relief. It was over. Now she could leave and forget about what she had done. As she saw them walk off the stage, it then occurred to her that she would most likely never see them again. This was a once in a lifetime thing so perhaps what happened in the morning wasn't such a mistake after all. She had enjoyed it, so why was there so much guilt? Guilt was pretty much a word hat simply didn't exist in Jenna's dictionary. So why should she have bothered feeling it now? She took advantage of the fact Brian's back was turned to now look at him with freedom. He suddenly slightly turned his head and looked at her one last time, giving an irritable nod before fully departing. Jenna stood, frozen with a huge lump now at the base of her throat.

"Looks like Mr. Brian Molko may have had a little fun before playing this show," wiL commented and snickered.

"What the Hell are you talking about?" Jenna said, annoyed.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice. The man's neck, jeeze."

"What about it?" she said, trying to sound oblivious.

"It was covered in hickeys. You did see that, right?"

"I wasn't looking that closely," she lied and cleared her lumpy throat.

"That was amazing!" Josie yelled and nudged Jenna's shoulder.

"Get off of me. I want to leave, so let's go now," she said, her jaw tense.

"What's the matter with you? Didn't you have fun?"

"Yeah, but you know I'm not feeling well. Let's go!" she yelled and began tugging wiL's arm.

"Whoa, not yet, babe. Remember I told you I have a surprise for you? Well, here it is," he said and slipped three tickets from his pocket.

"And what the Hell is that supposed to be?"

"Three backstage passes to go meet Placebo! Don't you just love me?" he said and leaned forward to kiss Jenna.

She leaned back and turned away, speechless.

"What's wrong? Aren't you excited that we're gonna meet Placebo?" wiL questioned, concern visible in his eyes.

Josie then hovered over Jenna's shoulder and snatched the passes.

"There are three here. One for me?"

"Look, I know you hate me, but I also know how much you love them so I managed to get you a pass as well," he said and gave a dry smile.

"Wow, thanks so much! When can we go meet them?" Josie eagerly asked.

"Anytime we want. Want to go now?"

"No! I am feeling sick, have I not told you that?! All I want is to leave!" Jenna shot out and began tugging on wiL's arm again.

"But I got you a pass. Come on, we don't have to be there that long. This is your dream, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but I just feel shitty," she complained.

She couldn't go back there again, especially since Brian had definitely recognized her. She had to come up with any excuse she could not to go back there.

"Plus, isn't AFI playing later today?" wiL asked.

"Yeah, but I've already seen them. With you, remember?"

"Well, alright, we'll leave. But after meeting Placebo. Your sister also really wants to meet them."

Jenna turned to look at Josie giving her a pleading look.

"Fine, let's go meet them," she muttered and began making her way out of the crowd.

"Hold on, let's just get over the barricade since we're already this close," wiL said and helped Jenna and Josie hop over the barricade.

Jenna's nerves were on extreme edge. She couldn't afford a confrontation. How would she get herself out of this one?