Here, Here, and Here

I had left the wet towel to sit on the bed so the blanket and sheets were wet. When I was sure Keev was asleep I went to take a quick shower. By the time I got out the bed was mostly dry and when I was completely ready for bed it was fully dry. I got under the blanket and curled up lying on my left side. I tried to keep my eyes closed but I just couldn’t. After about five minutes I got up and turned the radio on and kept the volume down low.

When the song that was first on ended an announcer came on.

‘Now all you listeners listen up. Tomorrow at 2:30 I’ve got an exclusive interview with……Tokio Hotel. And if you’re listening between right now and the next hour you have a chance to win tickets to come to the studio tomorrow and meet the band. All you have to do is be the first and tenth caller when you hear their song1000 Oceans play. So let’s get on with the commercial free hour.'

I just couldn’t stop thinking about what I was going to say to Tom tomorrow. I couldn’t figure out how I was going to say it or even what I was going to say. I had it all planned out and knew exactly what needed to be said and now I had no clue.

I looked over at my little Keevie and I knew why I had lost what I was going to say to Tom.

How am I supposed to tell a four year old that the person they’ve been calling Tom for the past month is their daddy and that the person they’ve called Bill is now Uncle Bill? How do you tell a little girl who has never had a father that now all of a sudden she does and that she always has she just never knew it? And that he never knew it either.

I guess I had been thinking very slowly for a long time because when I looked at the clock it read 1:00. I scratched the back of my knee and immediately felt a bump start to form. I got up and went to the bathroom. I turned the light in and shut the door as to not disturb Keevie. I looked at my leg and saw a large welt had formed with two smaller ones next to it. I went to my toiletries bag grabbed the Benadryl, filled a glass of water, and took the one.

I went back to bed after I turned the off the light. About the time the blankets got warm the Benadryl started to take affect and I got drowsy. Ten minutes later I passed out.

The next morning I woke up and looked at the clock. It was about nine-thirty and Caoimhe was still asleep. I would have to wake her up soon or she would be up all night. And then I remembered that at 5:26 tonight she turned four. My baby’s growing up.

I went over to her and kissed her lightly on the forehead. When I straightened up I pulled the hair tie off my wrist and quickly wrapped it around the frizzy mess I called hair. As I got dressed I thought about what I was going to say and what was going too happen. When I was done I picked up my cell phone and called Reaghan.

“Hey, can you come up a bit early to watch Caoimhe?” I asked.

“Yeah, when should I head up?” she said making me feel happy that I could count on her.

“12:30?”

“Yep, sure.”

I pressed the end button and stashed it in my purse for later. I figured I’d let her sleep a little longer. Part of my birthday present to her was that she could go to the concert tonight, her first one ever.

Ten minutes later it was ten o’clock and I was half done with straitening my hair. I had Keev’s bath already started and I decided to wake her up.

“Sweetie, come on wake up. It’s your birthday” I sat her up and rubbed her cheek a bit. When I said the word ‘birthday’ her eyes got a bit wider.

I let her wake up a bit before I put her in the bathtub. While she was playing and splashing around I finished doing my hair.

I got her out and I dried her off.

“Mommy” she said, “am I going to have a party for my birthday?”

“Well, there’s not going to be a party party,” I smiled, “but you are going to get to go to the concert tonight!”

“Yay!!!” she yelled bouncing up and down on the bed.

“Alright, Miss Birthday Girl, settle down so I can do your hair” I grabbed her around the waist and plopped her little butt on the bed, “Piggy tails, or braids?”

“I want…” she thought about it for a minute, “piggy tail braids!”

“Alright” I smiled

We got a late breakfast and then Reaghan arrived.

“Hey, why’d I have to come early I thought the interview wasn’t until 2:30-ish” she said as Keev ran up to give her a hug, “Hi Sugar Angel!”

“Well I’m talking to Tom at around one o’clock, but I need to calm down and think so I’m gonna go dance in the ball room” I say grabbing a pair of black socks and slipping on my flip-flops.

“Okay. See you at the concert” she says.

“Bye-bye mommy” Caoimhe wrapped her arms around my legs and hugged me. I patted her on the back and walked out the door, blowing her a kiss.