Here, Here, and Here

“You look gorgeous” Tom said to me as I buckled myself in.

“Tom Kaulitz are you trying to make me weak in the knees?” I ask as he presses the gas peddle.

“Yes” he says bluntly.

“Way to play along” I huff sarcastically, “You’re supposed to say ‘Is it working?’”

“Sorry” he says in fake surrender.

“What ever. Where are we eating?” I asked.

“You’ll see” he taunted me as he took a sharp left turn.

I stuck my tongue out at him like I always use to do with all the guys. I turned around to glance at Keevie and she waved at me and smiled her brightest smile I swear. I spun my upper body back around and wondered how this all would effect her. Would it make her happy or would it confuse her.

Tom turned on some music; some German artist who spoke to fast to really understand and then he took another right hand turn. We stopped at a spotlight and waited for about a minute.

“I hate never knowing when the light is gonna turn green” Tom burst out randomly. I gave him a weird look and was about to say something but I decided that a sigh and shake of the head would suffice.

“We’re here” he said turning onto a street and in front of a very fancy restaurant.

The valet takes the car to the parking around back and we walk inside and the hostess takes one look at Tom and tells us to follow her. She takes through the entire restaurant and into a more private area. I realize that there are a few tables around us and even less people.

“This is perfect Tom. Not many people and they’re all to old to care who you are and it’s calm and that means that Keeve will be calm” I say getting Caoimhe settled into her seat.

Thirty minutes later we had all ordered and eaten. We decided to tell Keevie over desert because we knew that the ice cream would be sort of a distraction. I was kind of expecting her to get really excited but to not understand it fully.

“Caoimhe?” I asked trying to get her attention. She turned her head towards me, her mouth full of ice cream and I drop of fudge on her chin.

“You know how when ever you asked about your dad I told you that he was away working?”

She nods her head yes and I see Tom get a bit more nervous.

“And remember how you always asked if he did work like grampa?” she nods her head again sensing the tension in the air, “Do you remember what I told you?”

“You told me that he was making the music I like to listen to. But Mommy,” she pauses waiting for me to respond. I nod my head and she finishes, “I never got it.”

“What music did she like to listen too?” Tom interjected.

“Her favorite song is Rette Mich” I said placing my hand on my cheek and resting my head on it.

“Let me try something” Tom said getting up and walking away. I look at Caoimhe and make a funny face at her, scrunching my nose. Five minutes later Tom walks back in with an acoustic guitar in his hand. I gave him a confused look but he just smiled. He sat down and strummed to make sure it was in tune and started playing. After the first cord I knew what song he was playing but I still had no idea why. Then when he sang the opening line when Caoimhe’s face lit up I knew why he was playing Rette Mich.

When he finished the song I turned back to Caoimhe. “Tom is the one who plays your favorite song Keevie. Do you know what that means?”

“It means. . . . .” she thought about it for a second, “it means that Tom is . . . that Tom is. . .” her eyes lit up with realization and then she got all shy. She hopped out of her seat and walked over to mine. She stood on her tip toes a bit and whispered in my ear, “Does it mean that Tom is my daddy?”

I turn my face to hers and touched noses with her, “Why don’t you go ask him yourself.”

She hurried over to Tom, to anxious about the answer to walk and tugged on one of his dreads. He lowered his head slightly so she wouldn’t have to stretch and she whispered in his ear. He then turned to whisper in her ear. When he was done she had the largest grin a four year old could produce. She stepped back nervously and I asked, “So what is Tom?”

“Daddy” she said and then ran and gave him a hug.

I swear I saw some tears on Tom’s eyes. I can’t believe I kept them from each other.