Here, Here, and Here

“She’s going to hate me” I say as we cut across the dead lawn between the two houses.

“No she’s not” Tom says as we approach the front steps to his mom and step-dad’s house.

The closer we get to the steps the more I remember the first day I met Tom and I remembered how much I disliked him. Back then I would never have thought that I would be pregnant with his child, for the second time.

He opens the door and I take a deep breath. Out of the corner of my eye I see Caoimhe’s hand twitch as if she’s squeezing Tom’s hand tighter.

“Mom I’m here” he yells through the house and before he can finish Simone is already at the door.

“Tom” she starts to say but stops short. First she looks at me and then at Caoimhe.

Before she can say anything else Caoimhe yells, “Bill!!” she let’s go of Tom’s hand and runs for Bill who is now squatting behind Simone, arms open ready to catch Caoimhe.

Simone’s eyes widen before she speaks, “Tom, who is this?” She gestures toward Caoimhe and me.

Tom responds in a very calm voice, “Mom you remember Eibhlin right?” Simone nods her head as a disapproving look comes over her face. Tom continues, “Well that’s her daughter Caoimhe.”

“Tom when I said who is this I meant why are they here?”

“Mom I’ll explain everything over dinner. For now can we eat? I made lunch today so . . .” he trails off as he leans down to kiss Simone on the cheek. I follow him with a curt nod as she stares me down.

As I walk past Bill he smiles and mouths to me, “Its okay” I just force a strained smile and widen my eyes in disbelief. I pat Keevie on the back as Bill holds her in his arms.

Bill follows me into the dining room. I have a flashback about the first time I had dinner here. I pray that I don’t run out of the room crying again.

Tom signals for me to sit. Before they left I always use to sit next to Tom and across from Bill when ever I had dinner here. This time though Tom had moved the chairs so there was now three on one side and one for Bill on the other. Tom had taken the seat closest to Simone, to try and make me feel more comfortable I suppose. I sat Caoimhe next to him in the middle seat and then I sat down on the other end.

“Are Georg and Gustav sick because it’s awful quiet for the four of you in one house” Gordon says as he walks in, obviously expecting Georg and Gustav. It takes him a minute to register my face but then to my surprise he remembers, “Nice to see you again Eibhlin.”

“You too Mr. Tromper” I say nodding my head and smiling.

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Gordon?” he says sitting down.

“No more I guess.” He smiles and then looks at Tom who has his attention focused on Caoimhe.

“Who’s this?” he asks interested.

“This is my daughter” I say patting her hair down a bit.

“Daughter?!” his face is the epitome of astonishment, “How old is she?”

“Um, she just turned four the first of this month” Tom answers.

“Thanks Tom” Gordon says even more confused.

“Just nod your head and smile” Bill tells him. He does just as Bill suggests and nods his head and smiles. This is why I always liked Gordon; he was funny and easy going.

“So what brings you back to Magdeburg?” he says, “Assuming you ever left.”

“Well I did leave; I went to Hamburg for a while. I have a great aunt up there and she needed some help” I say trying to avoid what we would inevitably tell them. Simone walked in and sat down next to Tom. We ate in a tense silence for a few minutes until Keevie started to get fidgety.

“Caoimhe?” Tom asked. She grabs the Bill of his hat and gently pulls his ear toward her. She then whispers something in his ear.

Bill speaks up as she finishes, “Let me guess, she has to go to the bathroom?”

“Yep” Tom smiles at how much his brother know his niece.

“I’ll take her” Bill says motioning to Caoimhe and then he gives me a look as if to say that this is the opportune moment to tell Simone. To me there is no opportune moment to tell her, but what the hell.

“Okay” Simone says dropping her silverware to the dinner table with a little bit of force, “I would like to know how you two know Eibhlin’s daughter so well.”

“Well to start mom Eibhlin is our new assistant manager. She’s been on tour with us from the beginning. So has Keevie” he adds as an after thought.

She then turns to me, “What gives you the nerve to become their assistant manager after you disappeared like that. When you left I swear that Tom’s life crumbled . . .” she would have continued to rant and rave if Tom hadn’t have stopped her.

“Mom” he busted in, “She had a very good reason for leaving.”

“A completely selfless reason I’m sure” Simone says, her voice backed by sarcasm. I could tell that her actions and tone were upsetting Tom more than they were me. I was about to grab his arm and tell him to calm down when he spoke.

“Yeah it was completely selfless, she was pregnant” he shouted at her.

“Tom, sit down” I demand yanking his hemline down with force. I look at the stunned look on Simone’s face, she is completely speechless.