Here, Here, and Here

“She was what?” Simone finally manages to spit out.

“When Eibhlin left she was about one month pregnant, right?” he turns to make sure he was right. I nod my head as he finishes, “Caoimhe is my daughter, your granddaughter.”

“Wait, so you’re telling me her being pregnant with your baby is a selfless reason to leave?” she stutters. I guess she really hasn’t grasped what we just told her fully.

“It’s not what you think” I pipe up.

“What you think that my son would have made a horrible father or something? Did you think he was going to be angry or abandon you?” she says offended.

“No, the opposite actually. I left because I knew that he would step up to the plate and take care of me and Caoimhe and that he would quit his music in the process” I say my eyes starting to tear as I remember when I made the decision to leave. I continue before I cry full out, “I couldn’t let him leave Tokio Hotel, I couldn’t let him let down his brother or his band mates, and I couldn’t let him let me down.”

“So are you happy now Mom?” Tom asks leaning towards her a little bit. She nods her head and I see her reach up a split second before she smacks Tom upside the head.

“Ow, I thought you were happy?” Tom yells in surprise and pain.

“I can’t believe you were irresponsible enough to get her pregnant, at fourteen especially!” she yells now mad at Tom, “And I can’t believe that you are telling me now, four years later!”

“Mom weren’t you listening? She never told me, I just figured it out two months ago!” he says guarding his head from another possible smack.

“Sweetie, just take a deep breath” Gordon says to Simone as he walks over to her. She listens and I can see her chest rise and fall and I can feel mine doing the same. Just then Tom moves the onions closer to me and I gag. As my hand flies to my mouth I can feel myself start to retch. I stand up and run to the bathroom as fast as I can. I barely make it to the toilet. When I walked back downstairs I passed the living room where Bill was entertaining Caoimhe with some vocal games he sometimes plays with her. He’s already giving her vocal lessons.

I walk back into the dining room and Tom meets me in the doorway. “Do you want me to go and get you a Dr. Pepper from next door?” he asks holding me gently by the shoulders. I just nod my head yes and he walks out the front door.

“Are you okay?” Gordon asks concerned.

“Yeah, I’ve just been under the weather lately” I sit back down, “Actually the guys made me come home and take a break from the stress of tour because I fainted once on live TV” I say like it’s no big deal.

“You fainted on live TV?!” Simone kind of screeches.

“Yeah but I hadn’t gotten much sleep or eaten much that day and the day before” I explain.

“Well when do you go back on tour with them?” Gordon asks.

“When they leave for the American tour I’ll be leaving with them” I state with a smile plastered on my face, “I’m excited because I really miss touring and around America will be really fun because it’s my home country.”

“Aaahhh” we hear Caoimhe screech from the living room with Bill. Gordon stands up straight as we hear Caoimhe follow up with a laugh, “I’m going to go see what those two are doing” Gordon says as he walks out of the room.

“I wonder what’s taking Tom so long?” Simone says as she takes a sip of her ice tea.

“I think he ran to the store instead of next door. I think he’s afraid of you hitting him again” I joke and Simone chuckles along with me.

Simone get’s all serious, “How’s he handling it?”

“You mean Tom?” she nods her head yes so I go on, “Um when he first met her he was a little apprehensive but that was before he knew she was his daughter. It took Caoimhe one conversation to win him over though.” I smile at the thought.

“How’s she handling it? I can only imagine how hard it was for her to grasp the fact that all of a sudden she has a father” Simone asks again.

“Well before either of them knew Tom was her favorite out of the boys and we both think that in her own mind she either thought that Tom was or made him her father. When we told her on her birthday she started calling him daddy immediately like she had been wanting to do so for a long time” I explain a new smile playing across my lips.

“Sorry I took so long” Tom said a bit out of breath as he walked through the doorway. He sat back down and as soon as he did Simone smacked him upside the head again.

“Ow!” he yelled again, “What was that for?”

“Running away from your problems” Simone stated simply and I tried my hardest not to laugh, “Now” Simone continued, “Go in the living room with your brother and Gordon and play with your daughter.”

“Yes Mutter” Tom says smiling.