Here, Here, and Here

“So are you and Tom involved again?” Simone asks getting into girl talk mode.

“Yeah, you could say that” I tell her the half truth.

“Are you just trying it for Caoimhe’s sake or because you two have feelings for each other?”

“No, I wouldn’t try to force a relationship with Tom for Caoimhe. She’s gone four years without a dad and without her parents together, so I don’t see how now me and Tom would have to get together” I say real fast and it takes Simone a minute to comprehend what I just said.

“So you’re together for each other?” she asks again to make sure she got it right.

“Yes, we are together for each other.”

“How long have you been together” she presses.

“Um, about a month. Why?”

She sighs really loud and then looks me in the eye, “This is really awkward for me to ask but . . .” she pauses, “Are you pregnant again?”

I was completely stunned. How could she tell? Was it that obvious? What am I going to say? I begin to stutter, “I-I-I” and then I snap out of it, “Why would you think that?”

“When you smelled the onions you needed to throw up immediately” she moves her hand as if to comfort me, “Not to mention that Tom treats you like you’re going to break.”

“What do you mean?” I ask because I hadn’t seen anything.

“When you ran from the room he practically broke my dining room chair. He pretty much ran out of the room before he remembered himself” she smiled.

“Yeah” I decide to tell her the truth, “I’m about two months pregnant.”

“Now I’m confused, I thought you said you and Tom had only been going out for a month?”

“Yeah about that” I cock my head to the side, “The night Tom figured out that Keevie’s his daughter we got in a fight, things got heated, and here we are.”

“Is that how it happened the last time? Completely spontaneous or was there alcohol involved?” Thank goodness I’m comfortable talking to Simone or I would not know how to answer that.

“No the first time was a bit premeditated and there was no alcohol in our systems, just stupidity” I snort.

“I don’t know whether to say that’s a good thing or what, but it looks like the result is gorgeous” Simone smiles genuinely at me.

“Avina you’ve got to come hear this!” Bill bursts in excitedly.

“What now?” I sigh standing up too.

“Just get your ass out here” he swears getting a stern look from his mother, “Sorry Mami.” She just rolls her eyes and stands to follow him.

We walk to the living room where Tom’s got his guitar out and Keevie is sitting next to him. My first thought is that Tom has taught Caoimhe to play something on the guitar. Then when Bill forces me down into a chair, Caoimhe stands, and Tom strums on the guitar I can tell that she is going to sing.

Tom begins the opening guitar rift of An Deiner Seite and when Bill gave her the signal Caoimhe started singing, “Keiner weiss, wies Dir geht.” She continued to sing the first verse,

“Keiner da, der Dich versteht.
Der Tag war dunkel, und allein.
Du schreibst Hilfe, mit Deinem Blut.
Obwohl es immer wieder wehtut.
Du machts die Augen auf, und alles bleibt gleich.”

And then to my surprise, without missing a beat she starts to sing the chorus in English,

“Turn around, I am here
If you want it's me you'll see
Doesn't count, far or near
I can hold you when you reach for me”

When she finished a huge smile broke over my face and when she saw how happy I was her face lit up.

“What ’cha think Mommy?” she asked sheepishly.

“I loved it! When did you learn to sing that song?” I ask taking her into my arms.

“Bill and daddy taught it to me today” she said pointing at Bill and Tom.

“Wow it’s weird hearing you be called daddy” Gordon says to Tom.

“Try being me when she first called me that. I swear I was gonna hit the floor I was so happy” Tom said with the biggest smile on his face.

“She learned that song today? As in from the time you took her to the bathroom to now?” Simone asked Bill.

“Yep, she’s got a really good ear” Tom said proud of his daughter.

“It also helps that she’s been listening to your guys’ music since she was born” I say situating Caoimhe in my lap.

“What do you mean?” Gordon asks.

“Well since she was born songs by Tokio Hotel have been the only thing that puts her to sleep” I say.

“How did you discover that?” Simone asks like a mother wanting to know another’s secrets.

“About a month after she was born I couldn’t get her to sleep. It was three in the morning and I was about to fall over. I didn’t realize that the radio was on so when ‘Scream’ came blaring through the speakers I dashed as calmly as I could to then end of the hall where the radio was so I could turn it off. By the time I got there Keevie was half asleep so I turned it off and started to walk towards the nursery” I pause to catch my breath before going on, “Well when I turned away she woke up again and started crying. Now if I was completely awake I would never have thought to do this, but I turned back to the radio. It was at the end of the first chorus and I turned it up a bit and by the time it got to the second chorus she was knocked out.”

“Wow, that makes me feel so cool” Bill says clapping his hands.

“Don’t feel to cool” I laugh.

“Why?” he whines.

“Because when she got older and started to smile she always use to smile the biggest at the opening guitar rifts” I smiled looking at Tom.

“Oh yeah” Tom yelled pumping his fist in the air once.