Undream the Echoes

Elle
01.08.2000

“You didn’t tell me they were identical twins,” I say and gawk at the two small girls standing before me. They’re both very small with extremely curly black hair, just like Liam and Landon’s, and I would think they were absolutely adorable if I wasn’t so terrified of kids.

“I didn’t mention that?” Liam says absently as Evie and Jane tackle his legs, chanting “Uncle Liam! Uncle Liam!” He gives me an embarrassed look and I just raise an eyebrow. I had expected him to be good with kids, seeing as how he’s so damn kindhearted all of the time, but I didn’t expect him to be something to be celebrated or anything like that. Liam seems to interpret my questioning look well, for he shrugs and says, “They only like me because I take them for plane rides.” But I can tell he’s just being humble.

“Girls,” he says after dislodging his legs from their deathlike grips, “I’d like you to meet Elle. She’s going to help me watch you guys today.”

They look up at me in what seems like a mixture of awe and scrutiny, and I feel unreasonably uncomfortable under the gaze of their big blue eyes. “Is she your…your…” says one of the girls, though I don’t know whether it’s Evie or Jane.

“Your girlfriend?” the other one finishes.

Liam shoots me a nervous look. “Well, er, she’s a good friend – ”

“Auntie Elle! Auntie Elle!” they screech and then it’s my turn to be tackled. Caught completely by surprise, I tumble to the ground with the two children practically jumping up and down on top of me.

“Um, Liam, a little help here?”

After Liam is able to contain his laughter, he swoops down and gathers the girls up, lifting one in each of his strong arms. “All right girls, why don’t we get something to eat?” he says and walks out of the room, carrying the girls under his arms like oversized footballs, acting as though they weigh close to nothing. I hear the girls scream a suggestion of foods, ranging from cake to grilled cheese to animal crackers. I’m not sure if I should be laughing right now or if I should be terrified of these two hyperactive little devils. Nevertheless I follow Liam into the kitchen.

It seems that they have settled on a meal of grilled cheese with a side of ice cream. I’m surprised when Liam puts out four plates and serves all of us the same thing. We sit around their Sesame Street table, which is made of plastic and only reached my knees. However, according to Evie and Jane, we have to sit at this table to eat because it’s the kid’s table and they refuse to dine anywhere else. Thus Liam and I are forced to curl our knees up to our chests as we eat grilled cheese and ice cream with the girls. By this point I’m pretty sure I’ve died and been sent to Hell.

But I eat my food without complaint; in fact I finish before anyone else. The girls stare at me for a long moment and I wonder why on earth they think I’m so fascinating. Then, without being able to stop it, I accidentally let out a small burp. I feel my cheeks glow a bright red and I cast an embarrassed look in Liam’s direction. He’s grinning from ear to ear and it’s easy to tell he’s trying very hard not to laugh at me.

Suddenly Evie – I think it’s Evie – gets up from her seat and walks over to where Liam is. She stands on her tiptoes and puts her mouth to his ear. “I like her,” I hear her whisper and secretly I beam. Suddenly my nervousness around these kids disappears.

Before I know it, lunch has been cleaned up and now we’re in their living room building a fort. Fortunately I happened to be a master fort maker back in my day, and to Evie and Jane’s great surprise and amusement, I construct a large fortress from several blankets and a vast collection of pillows. Soon the four of us are cramped inside the fort and Thing 1 and Thing 2 have somehow talked us into playing Princesses and Dragons or something like that.

Honest to god, these girls are the spawn of Satan. Their imagination is astounding; I’m the princess, of course, but they have gone to great lengths to make this game as real possible, and since I’m supposed to be held prisoner right now, they have fastened my wrists in handcuffs made from Twizzlers and string cheese tied together.

“And then the dragon tries to eat you – ” Evie says.

“But Uncle Liam – ” interrupts Jane.

“No, Prince Liam – ”

“He comes along and he kills the dragon with his sword – ”

“And a bazooka and grenades – ”

“And then the dragon is dead and he comes to rescue you!”

Knowing that’s his cue, Liam comes crawling into the fort, where I sit amongst a mountain of couch pillows, bound by the Twizzlers and cheese. “I’m really sorry about all of this,” he murmurs, too quiet for the girls to hear. But I’m blushing so much that it doesn’t matter anymore so I just laugh and say, “Please just rescue me already, Prince Liam.”

With laughter intertwining with his breaths, he bows his head and tears the Twizzlers off with his teeth, thus freeing me. I would find that pretty hot were it not for the fact that two five-year-olds are watching us. Instead I feel extremely creepy.

“Now the prince has to kiss the princess,” Evie says.

Of course Liam obeys. I expect the kiss to be something of a joke, with his lips smiling against mine, but instead it’s oddly soft and so, so gentle. Liam and I have always had this sort of fire and whenever we go at it, we really go at it, so this tenderness is something new to me. It’s like he’s trying to tell me something, but what his message is, I have no idea.

“And then he asks her to marry her,” Jane says in a shy voice.

I want to scoff and say, ‘All right you two, game’s over,’ but before anything comes out of my mouth I feel Liam slip something onto my finger.

A ring.

I look up at him, shock and wonder and astonishment overtaking me all at once. I swallow hard and open my mouth to say something, but the only sound I make is a weird guttural sound, so I immediately clamp my lips shut again. Liam is staring at me with such an intensity that is so overwhelming and gentle both at the same time. He kisses me again, just as softly as before but longer this time, and when he pulls away he says, “You don’t have to give me an answer now.”

Then it all clicks. I was not brought over here just to babysit Evie and Jane. They knew they were supposed to play this game because Liam told them to. And what Shelby had said in the kitchen – “Don’t let yourself be tied down unless you know it’sright....” That meant she knew all along too. Landon must have been in on the secret as well. For some reason I feel tricked, betrayed. I know that most girls swoon over proposal stories like this, most girls pray that something as romantic as this will happen to them, but for me this doesn’t seem romantic at all. But I’m not mad, either. I’m just too stunned to feel anything. And I’m confused. Very confused.

The rest of the play date passes in a daze. Landon and Shelby return home at dusk; Landon gives Liam and me an excited look, but it quickly disappears once he sees the grim expression on his brother’s face, indicating that what Liam had planned hadn’t gone as well as he had hoped. Liam has surely noticed the stupor I’ve been in all afternoon and I can tell he now has a bad feeling about what’s to come. He doesn’t think I’m going to say yes. I don’t think I am either.

Is he right? I ask myself once more. As we leave and we bid our goodbyes, Shelby gives me a knowing glance. It’s not a conceited look, nor is it an I-hope-you-know-what-you’re-doing-you-idiot look; it’s a please-make-the-right-choice look. I gulp because I know the car ride home is going to be a very long one.

We drive for about a half hour in complete silence. He doesn’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say. He’s afraid that I’m going to give the ring back. I’m afraid of how he’s going to react after I do that.

“I was hoping you’d say yes,” he says curtly. He’s gripping the steering wheel fiercely and his voice trembles with nervousness.

“I know,” I reply in a quiet voice. Guilt washes through my veins and I close my eyes so I don’t have to watch as I hurt Liam.

“I, um, you…” he stammers. “Listen, if you want to wait, it’s okay. I thought you would be happy, but I – I guess not. Maybe…” He chokes on his words. “If it’s not the right time, then we can just…”

“Liam, I don’t think it would be a good idea…” I begin, opening my eyes and turning to face him. I don’t think it would be a good idea to see each other anymore, I want to say. In my stupefied state, the only solution I can think of for this situation is to run away from it. The ring on my finger is weighing me down, and I can feel that it is not right, that we are not right. I know that it will not work now and it will not work out ever. So I might as well end it.

But as I turn to look at him I get lost in his amber eyes. The way he looks at me… It’s full of so much love and adoration and utter desperateness, and I know that if I say no I will crush him. I can see that he is scared right now. So scared. And Liam has never been frightened by anything. It suddenly dawns on me that I have never been loved like this before. There has been no one in my life that will be absolutely ruined if I reject them. Liam needs me more than anything. And with this thought, I give him my answer:

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes. Okay. Yes. I’ll marry you.”

Liam is staring at me in disbelief for such a long time that he almost crashes into a tree. Quickly regaining his senses, he veers the car to the side of the road and puts it in park.

“What did you say?” he demands as he cuts the engine.

“I want to marry you.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I want to marry you, Liam Berkshire.”

“Say it again.”

“Will you shut up and kiss me already?”

All of the sudden his lips are on mine and we’ve somehow found our way into the backseat. I’m clutching onto him and he’s clinging to me and I think, maybe I need Liam just as much as he needs me. And the ring doesn’t feel so heavy anymore.