That Doesn't Mean I Love You
006
By the time we had gotten back to the house I had heard so much about Kandy I felt if I put on a thick enough coat of lipstick, I could be her. Rose went straight to the window and looked out and clyde socked him in the back .
“Why don't you go talk to her?” he said quietly as I sat on the floor, sorting out a stack of money I had into Ones, Fives, Tens, and Fiftys. I only had one fifty, but it still deserved its own file.
“She's to good for me,” Rose mumbled blandly, turning away from the window to sit in front of me, watching me put the money in its specific location.
Clyde laughed, rolling his eyes and sitting by me, indian style and leaning back on his hands.
“You don't know that. I've heard she's quite a word on the street around here...” Clyde smirked, leaning over and watching me straighten up my piles nicely.
He fake coughed and blew my stacks of money all over the place. I growled and glared at him, and he just winked, looking back up at Rose.
Rose let a slight smile pass his lips and he came over and sat in front of us.
“Her name is A-mor, and she has more track marks than a rail road,” Clyde smiled, pulling a cigarette from his pocket, putting his hand out for my lighter. I handed it over to him, pulling my feet up to my chest to listen to Clyde's story about this mystery girl Rose was obsessed with.
“Oh really,” Rose said, not impressed. He took one of my fives and stuck it in his jacket pocket, because by then I had given up on them picking on me.
It was freezing, our place had no heater and even less insulation. I was shivering, and Clyde put his arm around my cold shoulders. To bad it meant something different to him then it meant to me. I leantinto him, hearing his voice thud through his chest.
“Yeah, I saw her the other day at Tony's house. She is sure a cutie up close, big lips with enough lipstick to pass as a clown,” he said halfheartedly, coughing, taking a drag from his burning cigarette, and flicking the ashes at Rose.
Rose rolled his eyes, blowing it off. “I'm not talking to her, end of discussion. Now lets stop this stupid love fest, I'm leaving.”
My eyes slightly widened and I pouted a little, crawling from Clyde up onto my knees looking at Rose. “Where are you going?” I asked quietly
“You can come,” Rose mumbled and I smiled, standing up, dusting myself off.
“While you lovebirds fuck in the dark, i'm going to go talk to that Amor girl, see how she feels,” Clyde winked and Rose socked him in the arm “Oh, ow, that really hurt skelletor.” Clyde remarked sarcastically.
Rose and I are were already out the door by the time Clyde started getting up, and he grabbed my hand loosely as he drug me down all the flights of stairs and out into the chilly Hollywood night breeze.
We walked in silence for at least 3 blocks, he would squeeze my hand occasionally or look over at me.
The thing that bothered me about Rose was you couldn't read him. I could look at Clyde and tell if he was mad, or happy, or sometimes he would give me a look of sympathy, when I was hurting.
But not Rose. You look at Rose and its like he's wearing a mask. He's hidden so far behind his emotions they don't even exist anymore. I wonder if he's always been like that or if something happened to him. Every time I try asking he blows me off.
Finally we stopped, in the middle of two shops, a tattoo shop and a hookah shop. It was dark and people passed us by like we blended into the night. He lent against the wall and looked at me. His eyes looked like deep black holes that went on forever, from the shadow cast over his face.
“Sometimes, I think about leaving,” he said in a hushed voice, dropping my hand. “I don't like living like this, but I can't get away. This life, its sucks you in... you can't... get away,” he said softly. He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it with a lighter he kept stashed in the box, taking a deep drag and blowing it away from me, but the wind swept it my direction and I just took it in, without budging.
“One day we will run away, Matthew. Me, you and Clyde. We'll get all better. Live a life of luxury, like those kings and queens in the story books. Clyde and I have talked about it, getting you away from this... it will happen,” he said softly and took another drag from his cigarette and sunk down the wall, pulling his knees to his chest.
“But for now, you work,” he said casually, motioning to a mail box across the street on the corner of the block. “We can't get anywhere unless you work.”
“Why don't you go talk to her?” he said quietly as I sat on the floor, sorting out a stack of money I had into Ones, Fives, Tens, and Fiftys. I only had one fifty, but it still deserved its own file.
“She's to good for me,” Rose mumbled blandly, turning away from the window to sit in front of me, watching me put the money in its specific location.
Clyde laughed, rolling his eyes and sitting by me, indian style and leaning back on his hands.
“You don't know that. I've heard she's quite a word on the street around here...” Clyde smirked, leaning over and watching me straighten up my piles nicely.
He fake coughed and blew my stacks of money all over the place. I growled and glared at him, and he just winked, looking back up at Rose.
Rose let a slight smile pass his lips and he came over and sat in front of us.
“Her name is A-mor, and she has more track marks than a rail road,” Clyde smiled, pulling a cigarette from his pocket, putting his hand out for my lighter. I handed it over to him, pulling my feet up to my chest to listen to Clyde's story about this mystery girl Rose was obsessed with.
“Oh really,” Rose said, not impressed. He took one of my fives and stuck it in his jacket pocket, because by then I had given up on them picking on me.
It was freezing, our place had no heater and even less insulation. I was shivering, and Clyde put his arm around my cold shoulders. To bad it meant something different to him then it meant to me. I leantinto him, hearing his voice thud through his chest.
“Yeah, I saw her the other day at Tony's house. She is sure a cutie up close, big lips with enough lipstick to pass as a clown,” he said halfheartedly, coughing, taking a drag from his burning cigarette, and flicking the ashes at Rose.
Rose rolled his eyes, blowing it off. “I'm not talking to her, end of discussion. Now lets stop this stupid love fest, I'm leaving.”
My eyes slightly widened and I pouted a little, crawling from Clyde up onto my knees looking at Rose. “Where are you going?” I asked quietly
“You can come,” Rose mumbled and I smiled, standing up, dusting myself off.
“While you lovebirds fuck in the dark, i'm going to go talk to that Amor girl, see how she feels,” Clyde winked and Rose socked him in the arm “Oh, ow, that really hurt skelletor.” Clyde remarked sarcastically.
Rose and I are were already out the door by the time Clyde started getting up, and he grabbed my hand loosely as he drug me down all the flights of stairs and out into the chilly Hollywood night breeze.
We walked in silence for at least 3 blocks, he would squeeze my hand occasionally or look over at me.
The thing that bothered me about Rose was you couldn't read him. I could look at Clyde and tell if he was mad, or happy, or sometimes he would give me a look of sympathy, when I was hurting.
But not Rose. You look at Rose and its like he's wearing a mask. He's hidden so far behind his emotions they don't even exist anymore. I wonder if he's always been like that or if something happened to him. Every time I try asking he blows me off.
Finally we stopped, in the middle of two shops, a tattoo shop and a hookah shop. It was dark and people passed us by like we blended into the night. He lent against the wall and looked at me. His eyes looked like deep black holes that went on forever, from the shadow cast over his face.
“Sometimes, I think about leaving,” he said in a hushed voice, dropping my hand. “I don't like living like this, but I can't get away. This life, its sucks you in... you can't... get away,” he said softly. He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it with a lighter he kept stashed in the box, taking a deep drag and blowing it away from me, but the wind swept it my direction and I just took it in, without budging.
“One day we will run away, Matthew. Me, you and Clyde. We'll get all better. Live a life of luxury, like those kings and queens in the story books. Clyde and I have talked about it, getting you away from this... it will happen,” he said softly and took another drag from his cigarette and sunk down the wall, pulling his knees to his chest.
“But for now, you work,” he said casually, motioning to a mail box across the street on the corner of the block. “We can't get anywhere unless you work.”