Pushing My Limits

I sat in the clinic, Alex's hand wrapped inside mine. She shook violently, peering down at her stomach every five minutes. When we had left her house, she had been fine. All the way up until the protesting mob outside. They held signs with pictures of dead babies, and words written in red lettering that stated everyone in this building was a murderer.

I've seen murder, and the two are nothing alike.

"Baker, Alexandria," A woman with a clipboard called out.

"You didn't use a fake name?" I whispered.

"N-No... Was I supposed to?" She asked. I shook my head and stood up with her. We reached the woman and she peered down at Alex's baby-bump.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but you can't accompany her inside the operating room," She told us, a hint of attitude lying in the back of her throat.

"And why the hell not?" I asked.

"Kat, please. Don't cause a scene," Alex whispered.

"No, I want to know why I can't go with my own cousin in there because we both know she's scared to death. I want to know what's so wrong with that," I spat.

"It's just procedure, Ma'am. Please, you can wait out here and she'll be out in an hour or so," The woman ushered Alex away, without me giving a few words to her as comfort.

I wandered back to the chair I had once been sitting in, that was now cold, and sat down. I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest before starting to glare at the wall, "She'll be alright," A boy, who couldn't have been more than thirteen was sitting next to me.

"She's tough. I know," I told him.

"They wouldn't even let me in with my sister," He shared with me and I looked at him sadly.

"How old is she?" I asked.

"Seventeen," He replied, "She went to a party one night, got a little too drunk, and ended up being pregnant two weeks later," He spoke as if none of this had really mattered.

"So don't you want to find the guy that took advantage of her?" I asked, purely outraged.

"Of course, what brother doesn't. Even if I'm young. I wanted nothing more that to see that guy rot in prison, but how am I to find him?" He shrugged.

"I guess you're right," I nodded.

"So, you said that was your cousin. Did the same thing happen to her? I'm trying to find my sister a support group," He looked up at me.

"No. She went to school in New York and met a guy. After they dated for a couple months, he told her that everything would be okay if she had sex with him, and now we're here," I briefly explained.

"Sucks," He stated and I scoffed.

"You think?" I cracked a smile and he laughed.

The swinging door open on the opposite side of the clinic and a girl emerged. She was chunky, but not fat. She had brown curls and beautiful aqua eyes that held a depth of sadness. She walked over, slightly limping, before reaching the boy next to me, "Are you okay?" Was the first thing he asked her and she nodded.

"I'm alright, Champ," She sighed, "C'mon, I'll get you an ice cream for coming with me," She forced a much needed smile on her face and the boy grinned.

"Okay," He got up, linking to his sister's arm and turning back to me, "Bye. Thanks for the talk," He waved before leaving the building.

^^^^^

"I don't know how much more I can handle," Matt sighed, tossing the envelope to the side.

"About what?" Zacky nodded to the letter and Matt disappointingly shook his head.

"Her report card," Zacky winced and shook his head.

"How bad is it?" He questioned.

"She has one C, that's in her English class. She's failing Calculus and Physics, and she has a D in her history," Matt glanced over the small letters boldly printed in front of him.

"Sorry to hear that. You have to admit, though, that those are some tough classes. I mean, were we even close to taking Physics in high school?" Zacky turned around to grab a beer out of his refrigerator, "And she's only a sophomore!" He exclaimed.

"She took hard classes last year, too, Zack. I don't know what's going on with her," Matt dropped his head in his hands, "It's been a complete one eighty with her, you know? She was always on top of her game and now she doesn't even have a 2.0."

"I don't know what to say. Have you ever asked her what's bothering her?" Matt looked up at his friend, "And I mean specifically asked what's been going on?"

"Well, no."

"Why not?"

"I'm too afraid of what she'll tell me," Matt replied softly.

"It's time for you to step up and forget about your fears, Matt. Something is going on in your daughter's mind and you need to find out what. Facing your fears will help her."

"I know... I just don't want her to hate me," He sighed.

"Hate you? After everything you two have been through? Matt, you're practically her best friend. Not once have you two ever been in an argument and you're always there for each other."

"I guess you're right. I'll talk to her later."

"Good," Zacky smiled, taking a swig of his beer.

^^^^^

We sat on the dock, our feet swinging freely as we stared out onto the ocean. The sun was bright in the sky, glistening over the waves. The tide was high, a lot of surfers out. I sighed, leaning back on my hands and closing my eyes before opening them again to look at Alex, "You okay?" I asked and she sighed.

"I will be," She replied.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this, Alex," I looked at her sympathetically and she shook her head.

"It's not your fault. I'm the one who fucked up," She shrugged.

"You can't blame yourself. It takes two to tango," I nudged her and she gave a small smile.

"I just know that Dad will eventually find out. It's inevitable. I just know some day this will all come out, and I know he'll be disappointed."

"And Gena?" I questioned.

"Mom's always been understanding, and I kind of wish she were with us today. But I know she would never keep a secret from Dad. She loves him too much."

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" I screamed, running into his arms at the sound of the door opening.

"Hey!" He grinned enthusiastically before planting kisses all over me face, "How's my Princess?" He asked as he held me on his hip.

"Good," I giggled and he laughed.

"Good? Alright. Let's go see what Mom's making for dinner," He began to walk over to the kitchen.

"Spaghetti!" I yelled, waving my hands in the air as he sat my down on the counter.

"Hey, Babe," He leaned over to Mom, cooking at the stove, and kissed her lips lightly.

"How was the studio?" She asked, a hand on her hip as she stirred noodles on a pot.

"Awesome. We got some tracking done and completed Unholy Confessions," He smiled.

"Wonderful," Mom turned around and started to drain the noodles. Dad looked over at me, walked over, and grabbed a cookie from the box beside me. He handed it to me with a finger over his lips and I grinned, "Matt!" Mom yelled as I was mid-bite. She walked over and gently took the cookie out of my hand and setting it on a napkin.

"What? It's just one cookie," He shrugged.

"She hasn't eaten dinner yet," Mom snapped and Dad rolled his eyes.

"Val, it's one cookie," He emphasized and she glared.

"You have her so spoiled, Matt! Last week you went out and bought her that new special edition Barbie," She placed her hands on her hips and gave him a meaningful look.

"And?" Dad seemed confused.

"Will you look around!" Dad did so, glancing at the gloomy curtains and small two-bedroom apartment, "There's no money!"

"C'mon," Dad tried to hug her but she pushed him away, "We'll be on tour this summer. Warped is going to pay us a lot. You and Kat can come with us on that tour too. After when we come home, there will be money," Dad explained.

"And what if I don't want to go on tour with you, Matt?" Mom asked.

"Why wouldn't you? You went to the last two."

"I don't want to go because I know I'll be running around selling shirts and demos to kids. And what about, Kat? You want to take her on Warped Tour? Jesus, Matt, she's only seven!" Mom threw her hands in the air and sighed.

"Everything will be alright, Val. I promise. I promised I would take care of you," He put a hand on her shoulder.

"It's been eight years since you've said that, Matt."

"Are you okay?" Alex nudged me this time and I nodded, snapping out of my thoughts.

"I'm fine. Just thinking," I sighed.

"Life's tough isn't it?" She said and I scoffed.

"You have no idea."