Pushing My Limits

Everyone clapped at the acoustic version of the new song everyone was working on. This is the first time anyone has heard something from the new album. We were excited, mainly because we felt this would be it. This will truly put Dad's band out in the open and make them really popular, "That was great," Grandpa Brian congratulated Uncle Brian.

"Alright, anyone else want to give it a go?" Uncle Jimmy asked, stepping away from the piano. My hand went up before Alex's and I smiled brightly.

"I do! I do!" My five-year old voice chimed and I raced to the piano, sitting beside Jimmy.

"What should I play?" He asked, placing his skinny fingers on the keys.

"That one song!" Everyone laughed.

"There's a lot of songs, Kathrine," Jimmy smiled.

"The one that says 'Noel' a lot," I replied and he nodded, laughing. He started to play the first chords and I waited until I was to start to sing.

"The first noel," At those first notes I had everyone's attention, "The angels did say," I continued, letting myself sing freely like I had done before in my room, "Was to certain poor shepherds in fields did they lay," I sang a sweet arpeggio on the last word, "In fields they lay, keeping their sheep. On a cold winter's night that was so deep," I took a deep breath, ready for the chorus, "Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel," I went high each not with each word, "Lord is the king of Israel," Jimmy stopped playing and I turned to everyone and grinned.

The room was in shock and applause erupted, "Baby-girl, when did you learn how to sing?" Dad scooped me in his arms and I giggled and shrugged.

"Well, she definitely got your talent," Mom hugged me and soon I was the center of attention at Christmas dinner.

I sat in the corner of the kitchen, bottle wrapped in one arm and cup pressed to my lips. Tears had mixed in with the sweet taste of coconut rum. My sobs had shook my body, and with every cup finished, I felt better.

I couldn't understand how I had come to this point. How I had become so dependent on a drink to make me feel better. My ways of being pathetic were getting old, and I put the bottle away before heading up stairs to sleep.

I sat on the bed and opened my mouth, as tears fell, I slammed it shut again. I longed to sing a note, I longed to be heard, but I couldn't. I guess it would be impossible anyways. All of the burning in my throat would just make raspy sounds. Nothing like the clear scales I could so easily sing like before.

"Kathrine?" Dad's voice called out as I heard the front door open. I quickly threw some pajamas on and slipped into bed. I slowed my breathing so by the time Dad reached my door, I seemed sound asleep.

I felt the edge of my bed dip and a hand ran down my hair. He sighed, "What happened to us?" He asked rhetorically. He bent down and kissed my temple before pulling the covers higher towards my shoulders and walking out of the room.

The next day at school, I sat aimlessly in French II, trying to understand the sentences that formed on the board, "Je vais à la bibliothèque," I muttered, but couldn't remember the conjugation for the life of me.

"Kathrine, please pronounce a sentence using the new vocabulary," Madame Florence asked and I groaned. I sat up straighter and looked down at my book. I read the first sentence I saw.

"Je vais prendre une promenade autour du parc," I pronounced in a horrible accent. I sang better in French than I did speak it.

"Humph," She was disappointed at my accent, but I guess I said the right sentence. As soon as the bell rang, I walked out of the class and to my locker to retrieve my English book. I shut my locker and was faced with the familiar new kid, "Hey," He smiled.

"Uh... Hi," I replied.

"I'm Adrian. I'm supposed to sit by you in English today," He informed me.

Like I didn't already know.

"Oh yeah. I'm Kathrine, but you can call me Kat," I replied. He held out his hand to me and I shook it pleasantly.

"I'm sort of lost. Can I walk with you to English?" He asked sheepishly.

"Yeah, sure," I smiled before leading the way.

The look on Millie Valentine's face?
Priceless.

"Hey, I'm Millie," She leaned forward to speak around my desk to Adrian. He flipped his long hair to the side and smiled.

"Adrian," He replied before glancing at me.

"Where do you eat lunch?" He asked.

"Oh. I usually go to the library at lunch..." I trailed off.

"Cool. I'm not a fan of eating in cafeterias anyways," He grinned before facing the board.

Forty-five minutes later, me and Adrian sat at a table near the front of the library. I opened my books and began to read the words. He peered over my shoulder and hissed, "You're in Calculus?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, what do you take?" I asked.

"Stats. A lot of word problems though. I don't really like it," He grimaced, "So are you a junior too?"

"Oh... No, I'm a sophomore," I informed him, "So what do your parents do?" I asked and he shrugged.

"My mom is a plastic surgeon and my Dad works for Google," He told me and I nodded.

"That sounds cool," I told him and he gave another shrug.

"I guess. What about yours?" He asked.

"Well, my mom doesn't work and she lives near San Diego. My dad is," I paused, "Well, he's in a band," I replied and he nodded.

"What band? Like Green Day or something? Or like My Chemical Romance?"

"No. Avenged Sevenfold," I answered and he nodded.

"I've only heard a few songs," He said shyly.

"Don't worry about it. So you listen to Green Day?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Not really. When you said band, I just figured something like that," He laughed and I smiled.

The bell rang all too soon and we had to walk our separate ways, but not before I gave him directions to his next class. I walked around the corner, thankful I had only two classes left. They flew by quickly and soon I was climbing into Dad's truck.

"Sorry I couldn't pick you up yesterday," He said softly and I shrugged.

"How did your meeting go?"

"Well, you get a week off in a while, so we scheduled some shows then. Only three, so it won't be too overwhelming," He paused, "Do you want to come with me or stay with your mom?" He asked.

"I'll come with you," I answered quickly.

"You haven't seen her since Thanksgiving, Kat," He informed me.

"I'll go see her next weekend then," I added and he sighed.

"Alright. I'll take you down there," He said before pulling into the driveway.

"Where are the shows at?" I asked, unbuckling my seat belt.

"Up north, Seattle, and Denver," He replied.

Denver? Of all places, why Denver?

I glanced up into Elliot's eyes and sighed, "You just like to bother me, don't you?" I muttered and he laughed.

"Only the pretty ones," He put a finger on my chin but I shook it off, "Why are you doing this to me?" He was drunk, I could tell.

"Because, you creep me out," I told him before pushing past him, drink in hand, to find someone to talk to.

As the night progressed, though it had only been half an hour, I was getting wasted. I didn't want to think about home, or school, or mom. I just wanted to let go for once. As I stumbled around, I found myself sitting on Chris' lap, Elliot across from him with a girl on his lap as well.

She was one of the merch girls, her name was Elizabeth, and I had known her for some time. She was only nineteen, but had been on every tour with my Dad since she was seventeen. She was sweet, and I had never seen her drunk or act like this before. She placed sloppy kisses down Elliot's jawline. Another girl was sitting next to him, who was also a merch girl. She was older than Elizabeth by a few years, and wasn't anything like her. This girl, Danielle, was known as the Whore of Tour. She partied a lot and screwed a lot of guys over the years. She was a mean person, and despised me for no reason.

"You okay?" Chris asked, his words slurred as well.

"Fine," I muttered and fell into his shoulder, burying my face in his neck.

"You can sleep if you want. You've had a lot to drink," He suggested and I shook my head rapidly, "I'll take care of you, Kathrine, don't worry."

With that, I slipped from consiousness.