Pushing My Limits

I eyed the different purses before me. One was large, encrusted with tiny jewels on the logo. The other was smaller with a quilted pattern and an anchor embellished on the side. The last one was a clutch, covered in jewels and a large 'K' in the middle, "We'll just take all three," Mom smiled at the sales woman before us. A look of excitement washed over her and she grabbed the purses.

"I'll wrap them up for you quickly," She smiled before taking off.

"I didn't need all three," I told Mom quietly and she shook her head.

"You can never have too many purses. Besides, it's getting late and I want to go look at the Seven Jeans store," She smiled at the woman as she handed Mom the bags. She handed the sales woman her card and she was off to pay.

I wandered around Seven, glancing at the various jeans. I did need some new jean shorts for this Spring, as it was getting hotter. I settled on three different pairs, all different shades of blue, and Mom had chosen several pairs of jeans and a few shirts.

By the time I got home, I sighed. In about an hour, I would once again leave my Mom and would not see her until summer. Our short days had concluded after long walks on the beach, girl talk, and bowls of Ben & Jerry's.

I love my Dad with all my heart, and I'll always be a Daddy's Girl, but sometimes, I wish I had a mom to have around. I wish it could be like this every night. I want us to sit down at the dinner table together, and talk about our days. I want to be able to confide in her about all of my boy troubles.

Mom had sat there for an hour as I rambled on about Adrian and Chris. Of course, she doesn't know the whole story behind Chris, but she understood for the most part. She let me vent to her about things I can't tell Dad. Like how I feel so much more stressed with it's that time of the month and that Dad doesn't understand that Midol isn't birth control.

"What are you going to sing me?" Mom asked as we sat on the couch, bare feet perched on the coffee table, heads touching, and her arm around me.

"You still want me to sing?" I questioned and she laughed.

"Sweetie, you always sing for me when you visit," She was right. I've never not sung to her on a visit. She always tells me how much she misses my voice.

"I don't know, Mom," I trailed off.

"Kathrine Michelle, not once have you been shy to sing before your own mother," She scolded playfully and I smiled.

"What do you want to hear?" I asked and she thought long and hard.

"Sing me I'll Be There. Such a shame Michael Jackson died this year," She shook her head and I stood up.

I checked my posture and started to control my breathing. I pinned my shoulders back, lifted my chin and eyebrows before opening my mouth, "You and I must make a pact," I took in a breath from my stomach. My voice was a little scratchy from now being used for so long, but it felt good to sing again, "We must bring salvation back," I almost wanted to cry at the joy of letting words be sung from my mouth again, "Where there is love, I'll be there," I gave a big smile and noticed Rosa stood in the doorway, eyes wide in awe as she listened to me, "I'll reach out my hand to you. I'll have faith in all you do. Where there is love, I'll be there."

Mom was proud, I could tell. She took me in her arms, tears in her eyes, "Why are you crying?" I asked.

"Because I would have never though that I would be lucky enough to have a daughter like you," She was almost sobbing now as she clutched my shoulders.

"I love you, Mom," I whispered.

"I love you too, Kathrine. Never stop singing, Baby. You were blessed with that voice for a reason."

"Okay, Mom."

An hour later, I sat silent in the car, stuck in traffic beside Dad, "Did you have fun?" He asked.

"Yeah. I really missed her," I replied and he smiled.

"I'm glad you don't hold a grudge about the divorce," He turned to me.

"I think because it happened when I was so young, I didn't understand so I couldn't really be mad about anything. If it had happened now, as a teenager, it would have been worse."

"How is she?" He asked softly.

"Fine. Gives Rosa a hard time here and there, but better."

"You know I really do love your mom, Kat. I just couldn't live with her anymore. Our parental ideas were so different. When you were born, we just started going off into our own worlds. She pictured raising you one way, and I had a totally different vision," He explained.

"Do you think, now that I'm older, you and Mom would ever get back together?"

"I don't know, Kat. I think I'd have to grow the balls to face her again," He gave a weak laugh and I smiled. At least he admitted that he can't always be the man of the house.

"So, what venue are you playing at for Denver?" I asked.

"Same on as on Taste of Chaos," He replied.

At this moment his cell phone rang and he answer, leaving me to my thoughts.

"Stop! Please!" I begged. Elliot took a fist full of my hair and pulled it back so I was forced to look into his deep green eyes.

"You're going to shut the fuck up, Punk. And if you don't, I'll make you," He growled and I gave a pathetic whimper.

When I looked back, Danielle seemed to be finished. Elizabeth lay there, still naked, shivering, and beat. I could tell by the awkward positioning of her arm, that it was severely broken. Her head bled badly and both eyes were black. Her once blonde hair was brown, due to the amount of dirt rubbed into it. She was fighting to keep her eyes open, "Please stay awake, Elizabeth," I whispered.

Finally, Elliot let me go, hands still bound, and walked over to the girl. He picked her up by the neck and examined her, "Shit, Danielle, you've just about killed this one too!" He yelled at his companion. Danielle's dark eyes flared.

"Well maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if you had kept it in your pants!" She argued back.

"I've just about had it with you bitch," He growled, "First, we have to take care of her," He nodded to the girl struggling to breath through his strong hold.

"We can't shoot her like last time. They'll for sure hear it," Danielle nodded in a certain direction, and I had some hope spark in me. Maybe if I ran in that direction, I could reach the party and Chris to tell him what's happening.

I moved slowly to stand up as the two argued on what to do. Suddenly, Elliot pulled out a knife from his pocket, "Fuck it. I've had enough," He took the sharp object and shoved it into Elizabeth's abdomen. I froze, glancing over at the girl's fading eyes.

She fell to the ground, her eyes cold and lifeless. They didn't move, they just stared at me. It was chilling, watching someone die before you. She didn't deserve to die naked, cold, and alone. She didn't deserve this. Maybe it should have been me. If I hadn't been so scared, then maybe I would have spoken up to take her place. Maybe if I weren't so drunk, I wouldn't be here in the first place.

Elliot and Danielle busied themselves spreading leaves across Elizabeth's body, starting with her female parts, then her face. The rest was covered with dirt and sticks. As they finished up, I could hear them talking quietly to themselves. Their backs were to me, and if I had a chance at all, now was the time.

I walked slowly out of the clearing, avoiding twigs and leaves. I made it to the edge, and just was I was about to run, a twig snapped underneath me, "Where the hell did she go?!" Elliot shouted.

And with that, I ran.

"Kat, we're home," Dad was shaking me awake and I jumped at his touch. A hand went quickly up to my chest, breathing rapidly I looked around.

"Are okay? What's the matter?" He asked. He turned my face so I could look at him. I was panting, sweating, and almost to tears, "Kathrine, what's going on?" He asked and I shook my head.

"Just a nightmare," I muttered, trying to get out of his reach. I didn't want anyone touching me right now.

"What was it about?" He tightened his grip so I couldn't look advert my eyes from his.

"Nothing," I felt my pulse start to quicken with every second he kept me in his grasp.

"Kathr-"

"Let me go!" I screamed before ripping away, jumped out of the car and into the house. Jimmy and Brian were in the living room, and I ran past them.

"Kat?" They both stood up and I could feel Dad trying to catch up to me. I ran up the stairs, two at a time, finally making it to my room just before he could reach me. With the door slamming in his face, he began to repeatedly bang on it.

"Kathrine, open the fucking door!" He demanded. I sunk to the ground, back against the door. I put a hand over my open mouth, heaving out sobs. Tears ran down my cheeks, over my hand, and down my neck and arm. My bangs were plastered to my forehead from the sweat that my body had let out, "Kathrine Michelle Sanders!" He yelled with all his might, but I didn't move. I just cried.

I had done so much in the past seven months to try to forget those eyes that stared back at me. I had tried to forget the fact that I had witnessed someone die. I had tried to forget Chris, Elliot, and Danielle.

Worst of all, I tried to forget myself.