Rain That Covers the Feelings

After a week, everything was back the way it had been since Sam's death. Pete sat on the sofa of the hotel room, drinking a bottle of vodka a day. The famous smile of his had gone away what I hope was not forever. I just watched him cry and cry day after day until smothing clicked in my head that said I couldn't look at him anymore.

I walked up to him, toke the bottle out of his hand and just looked at him. He didn't say anything, he was just so facinated in the way the curtain played in the wind. Then he wanted to crab the bottle out of my hand what he didn't manage to do because he was just so drunk for that. I was getting angry and smashed the bottle againts the wall.

"Why did you do that for?"
"Pete, look at yourslef, you are killing yourself."
"Why can't I? My life has no meaning anymore. I lost the love of my life and my child. You do not know how much that hurts."
"I have lost the love of my life more than once and I've been glad that I have had the chances to get him back into my life. And as for losing a kid, I know that feeling the best."

I had now sat down next to Pete and he was looking deep into my eyes. He moved his body a little bit so he was now sitting face to me. I knew that he wanted to hear the story and I guess I had to tell him it, although I haven't said a word to nobody, even Brendon doesn't know.

"It happened when I was 14. Me and my boyfriend at that time were just making out and stuff when he stopped and asked if we could go futher. I just looked at him and nodded. Can you blame a girl for being curious? So we did it and it wasn't anything I thoughed it would be like. He was sweet and gentle and stuff. Well he had done it before. He was 17 at the time. So after a month, I didn't have my periods and I told him. He thoughed that I was pregnant and bought me a pregnancy test. And he was right, I was pregnant at the age of 14. We sat down after that in the park and talked about things. The only thing he said was that I should do an abortion. And I went trough it. A week later, I was a nobody to him. And I cried for months. Partly for losing my baby by believeing him, partly for killing my baby."

Pete couldn't say a word. I don't know if it was because he was just to drunk to talk or the story had made him speechless. He moved closer and pushed his lips on mine. I backed away, getting up from the sofa.

"What do you think you are doing?"
"I have wanted to do it since the day I saw you."
"I'm with Brendon."
"So?"
"So what? I'm not going to cheat on him if that is what you are getting at."
"Why not? He does it to you every single day."
"You know that that is a lie, so take it back."
"I'd never lie to you."

I turned around went to the bedroom and slammed the door as hard as I could. I couldn't believe what he had just said.