Rain That Covers the Feelings

It's been ten months and a lot has changed. I was touring with The Academy Is..., Paramore and Cobra Starship. Marion was with me and everybody loved having her around. I wasn't missing my old life at all. I even cut my long hair to shoulder length and dyed it dark chocolate brown, which my boyfriend loved. yes, I have a boyfriend. We've been together for four months and we are still going strong.

As for Brendon, I know nothing about him. The last time I saw him was when I left LA for a new start and a new life. He hasn't contacted me. Which is funny, because I thought he would not give up on us or his daughter that easily. But it was for the best.

I woke up this morning with an empty space next to me. I got out of bed and put on a robe. I walked out of the bedroom to find Gabe playing with Marion. When he saw me, he picked Marion up and walked over to me.

"Happy 1th birthday baby," I said to my little girl and gave her a kiss.

Gabe toke her back and put her down and turned the TV on. Then he walked to the kitchen where I was drinking a glass of milk.

"Morning my queen."
"Morning darling."
"How did you sleep?"
"I slept so good. You should ware me out more before going to bed."
"You know, I try."
"I know you do."
"So what's planned for today?"
"Well Pete should be coming some time and Hayley and William have something planned for Marion's birthday, I just don't know what."
"Will he be there?"
"I have no idea. I guess he should, because it's his daughter too, although I went away with her and he never tried to find us or contact us to be with her."

Gabe just nodded and ate his toast that I had originally made for me.

"Babe, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, Gabe."
"Do you want more kids?"

I stared right in his eyes and didn't understand what he meant by what he had just said. The thing is, that I want more kids, but I have the impression that Gabe doesn't, even if he is so good with Marion.

"I would like to have more kids someday.."
"There's a but in there somewhere, isn't there?"
"But I don't know if I'm gonna have them, because I don't know if I'd have a man in my life in the future."
"Babe, you know that I won't go anywhere."
"Okay, let me re-say that sentence then. i don't think you want kids, although you seem to love Marion."

He got up from his seat and walked to me. He hugged me and I never felt safer.

"Babe, I asked you the question, because I want to spend my life with you and I want to have children with you."

He kissed me and his hands were starting to untie my robe, when there was a knock on the door.

"Always."

I laughed at his frustration and went to open the door. When I opened it, it toke a second when I was on the floor with Pete on me.

"I have missed you."
"Pete, get off."
"No, thank you, did it this morning. But thanks for caring."
"Not that... never mind, just get off of me."
"Where is my "hello, nice to see you my friend" hello."
"Why the hell would I give you that?"
"Because you love me?"
"No, I don't. I mean, I try, but nothing."
"You're mean."
"Get over it."
"Fine. I better go see if Marion likes me better."
"Pete, get off of my girlfriend," Gabe said with jealousy dripping down from every word.
"Hey Gabe, it's nice to see you too. Where's Marion?" Pete asked.
"In the living room," Gabe answered.

Pete got off of me and went to the living room.Gabe came to me and helped me up. We followed Pete to the living room where he was already playing with Marion.

"I bring bad news for you too," Pete said to me.
"What kind of bad news?"
"He is coming and he ain't coming alone."

So Brendon would be at his daughter's 1th birthday with some girl, who he probably had found on the street. But it didn't affect me in any way. I guess I have finally gotten over him and well, I have Gabe, who is the first man I have loved since Brendon. I just might love him even more than I did Brendon. But today isn't about me or Brendon or anybody else than my beautiful baby girl.