If You Forget Me
Thirteen
“What the hell are you doing?” Someone hissed to my left, bringing me back to this reality. I look up to see the male nurse standing at the foot of the bed with his hands on his hips.
“Who are you?” I ask stalling for a second.
“I'm Sebastian. What do you think your doing?” he said in an icy voice. I stood up and looked at he nurse shooting daggers at him for ruining my moment. He just shot daggers back.
“I knew someone had a hold on him.” Sebastian said lightly.
“What the hell do you mean by that?” I said in disbelief.
“You start talking to him. He has a breakdown. He gets better. You talk to him. He stopped eating. What do you think I'm talking about?” he hissed.
“Your blaming me for Jamie being sick?” I said dangerously.
“Yes I am.” He stated matter of factually. I flinched knowing he was right.
“Stay away from Jamie. Don't get involved.”
Involved? What the hell does that mean? “Huh?” I say unintelligibly.
“You are nothing but a toxin for Jamie stay away.”
“To hell with...” I was cut off by a whimper from Jamie I spun around and saw him frailly sitting up. Tears making their way down a loomed trail on his face. I sigh wanting to hold him. Wanting to wipe away the tears.
Sebastian beats me to moving. He advances on Jamie. Why cant I move? Why couldn't I comfort him. Jamie lets out a scream and I flinch. I shot a glare at Sebastian because it was his fault. But the same thought must of ripped through his head to because I got the same glare from him.
“Jamie, they told me, that you weren’t eating again.” He said softly and carefully soothing Jamie. I tried to say something but nothing came. Nothing would come.
“Sorry Bastian.” He said timidly looking at me oddly. Like you look at a stranger.
“It’s okay but you have to promise me, that you will start eating.” Jamie shook his head violently. I step forward he has to eat. He has to get better. Sebastian had something else to say but Jamie cut in panicked like a wounded animal.
“I-I c-can’t… D-Desmond w-will g-g-get m-m-mad.”
Desmond? Is this why I couldn't get involved. Why did the name sound so familiar? Why did I want to kill him?
“Jamie, Desmond will never hurt you again, I promise, now go take shower and get dressed, okay? Do you need help?”
Jamie walked out of the room quickly into the small cubical. I heard the water turn on and start hitting the tittles.
“Who's Desmond?”
“Christoper.” He said tiredly.
“Tell me who he is! What did he do?”
“Christopher just do as I say and stay the hell away from Jamie.”
“why wont Jamie look at me?” He hates me doesn't he.
“Like I said before your his new toxin.” You don't say that to a lunatic Sebastian I thought to myself. Pain splitting me in two.Just as Jamie walked in. I couldn't stand. I knew that even if I had of wanted to answer I couldn't have./ I knew that this was it, The same feeling you get when you lose a loved one but their still alive. The same feeling I got when they told me that I would never remember my old life.
Jamie reaches Sebastian and they embrace each other like family. Its to much I have to leave. Pain, hate jealousy. They rape my body. They rid me of physical sense. I Fall into the public bathroom and throw up. The bile sticks in my throat. I gasp waiting for the pain to ease it doesn't. I Begin to hit my head on the floor. If I cant see. If I cant hear than surely I cant feel.
I try and kick myself out. Continuously bashing my head against the cold tiles. I feel the warm liquid run down my nose down my face. Red stains the tears as I keep bashing my head. Just die God damn it!
Your a toxin.
Everything went black.
***
I sit by the window. Its raining outside and my days going as always. The chair was empty so I sat in it, what else would i do with a chair? It was raining so i watched it, what else is rain good for? I thought...
***
“Why wont Jamie talk to me?”
“He blocked you out.”
“Why?”
“How am I supposed to know?”
“I'm not a toxin.”
“To Jamie you are.”
“I wanna see him.”
“Stay away from him.”
****
These words stripped me of thoughts. They were my reason for life. I would kill Jamie's ghosts and mine and than will be finished. The boy I remembered took the seat behind me.
"Its raining." he said softly.
"Yup," Watching a memories trying to climb a tree.
"How long will it rain for?" He said turning away and watching a nurse hand out meds, splitting my soul in two.
"They said a couple of days..." I answered looking into his clear Grey eyes. REMEMBER ME
"Well this is the longest conversation I've had about the rain..” how ironic. Our first conversation both times. How ironic he doesn't know that he is splitting me in two. How ironic.
The boy I fell in love with.
How...
"Eh it could have been longer." I say softly looking out the window letting a tear run down my face.
"What happened to your head?" He said weakly,
"I banged it on the ground until I couldn't feel anymore"
He looked at me and smiled, "Why.."
I looked in his eyes and sighed.
“A boy..”
“Who are you?” I ask stalling for a second.
“I'm Sebastian. What do you think your doing?” he said in an icy voice. I stood up and looked at he nurse shooting daggers at him for ruining my moment. He just shot daggers back.
“I knew someone had a hold on him.” Sebastian said lightly.
“What the hell do you mean by that?” I said in disbelief.
“You start talking to him. He has a breakdown. He gets better. You talk to him. He stopped eating. What do you think I'm talking about?” he hissed.
“Your blaming me for Jamie being sick?” I said dangerously.
“Yes I am.” He stated matter of factually. I flinched knowing he was right.
“Stay away from Jamie. Don't get involved.”
Involved? What the hell does that mean? “Huh?” I say unintelligibly.
“You are nothing but a toxin for Jamie stay away.”
“To hell with...” I was cut off by a whimper from Jamie I spun around and saw him frailly sitting up. Tears making their way down a loomed trail on his face. I sigh wanting to hold him. Wanting to wipe away the tears.
Sebastian beats me to moving. He advances on Jamie. Why cant I move? Why couldn't I comfort him. Jamie lets out a scream and I flinch. I shot a glare at Sebastian because it was his fault. But the same thought must of ripped through his head to because I got the same glare from him.
“Jamie, they told me, that you weren’t eating again.” He said softly and carefully soothing Jamie. I tried to say something but nothing came. Nothing would come.
“Sorry Bastian.” He said timidly looking at me oddly. Like you look at a stranger.
“It’s okay but you have to promise me, that you will start eating.” Jamie shook his head violently. I step forward he has to eat. He has to get better. Sebastian had something else to say but Jamie cut in panicked like a wounded animal.
“I-I c-can’t… D-Desmond w-will g-g-get m-m-mad.”
Desmond? Is this why I couldn't get involved. Why did the name sound so familiar? Why did I want to kill him?
“Jamie, Desmond will never hurt you again, I promise, now go take shower and get dressed, okay? Do you need help?”
Jamie walked out of the room quickly into the small cubical. I heard the water turn on and start hitting the tittles.
“Who's Desmond?”
“Christoper.” He said tiredly.
“Tell me who he is! What did he do?”
“Christopher just do as I say and stay the hell away from Jamie.”
“why wont Jamie look at me?” He hates me doesn't he.
“Like I said before your his new toxin.” You don't say that to a lunatic Sebastian I thought to myself. Pain splitting me in two.Just as Jamie walked in. I couldn't stand. I knew that even if I had of wanted to answer I couldn't have./ I knew that this was it, The same feeling you get when you lose a loved one but their still alive. The same feeling I got when they told me that I would never remember my old life.
Jamie reaches Sebastian and they embrace each other like family. Its to much I have to leave. Pain, hate jealousy. They rape my body. They rid me of physical sense. I Fall into the public bathroom and throw up. The bile sticks in my throat. I gasp waiting for the pain to ease it doesn't. I Begin to hit my head on the floor. If I cant see. If I cant hear than surely I cant feel.
I try and kick myself out. Continuously bashing my head against the cold tiles. I feel the warm liquid run down my nose down my face. Red stains the tears as I keep bashing my head. Just die God damn it!
Your a toxin.
Everything went black.
***
I sit by the window. Its raining outside and my days going as always. The chair was empty so I sat in it, what else would i do with a chair? It was raining so i watched it, what else is rain good for? I thought...
***
“Why wont Jamie talk to me?”
“He blocked you out.”
“Why?”
“How am I supposed to know?”
“I'm not a toxin.”
“To Jamie you are.”
“I wanna see him.”
“Stay away from him.”
****
These words stripped me of thoughts. They were my reason for life. I would kill Jamie's ghosts and mine and than will be finished. The boy I remembered took the seat behind me.
"Its raining." he said softly.
"Yup," Watching a memories trying to climb a tree.
"How long will it rain for?" He said turning away and watching a nurse hand out meds, splitting my soul in two.
"They said a couple of days..." I answered looking into his clear Grey eyes. REMEMBER ME
"Well this is the longest conversation I've had about the rain..” how ironic. Our first conversation both times. How ironic he doesn't know that he is splitting me in two. How ironic.
The boy I fell in love with.
How...
"Eh it could have been longer." I say softly looking out the window letting a tear run down my face.
"What happened to your head?" He said weakly,
"I banged it on the ground until I couldn't feel anymore"
He looked at me and smiled, "Why.."
I looked in his eyes and sighed.
“A boy..”