If You Forget Me
Three...
“Jamie…” I say in an even voice but he doesn't seem to hear and if he does it only makes him more nervous. He started to back away but the table was behind him so he fell. I went to his aid but someone stopped me. The doctor. Ah, they had sent the white coats to help.
"No you shouldn't.." I said but the doctor was already down beside him. I felt the urge to knock the doctor over, to stop him from drugging Jamie. It was an odd feeling like a burning that just builds until you run it under cold water.
I see tears running down Jamie's face, he seemed so innocent, so.... Tainted. He began to struggle and scream to break loose, I remember the fight well, only to well...
Didn't he say he was an addict? Yet he didn't like drugs? The desire the want to know more cascaded over me, what I wanted I got and Jamie would never be hurt again. I walked through the white rooms to the mess hall. Another white antiseptic type smelling room.. I sit at one of the midget tables as a nurse comes over and gives me food. I didn't eat, unless there was food in front of me. I never went looking for food or drink there was no point.
I saw Jamie enter a nurse by his side, she handed him a plastic tray and walked him to a table by the corner. The tables began to slowly begin to fill up. He was frail and shaky. I stood up leaving my tray behind, someone else could eat it, and sat at Jamie's table the nurse gave a warning look and I shrugged at her.
"Hey.." I said softly but he never answered. That was okay, I got it. I never answered after the struggle either. He was staring down at the unappealing slosh on his plate, I wanted to know, what he was thinking. Why he wouldn't look up at me. He seemed to be thinking that I was a threat of some sort.
"Well the rain stopped," I said trying to get something out of him anything. Even just a frown on that pale, disappointed face. I sat there with a book for the remainder of the night. Jamie never said a word. The nurse came over supervising Jamie and handed him some pills. Another nurse came over to me again and looked pained.
"Christopher, would you come with us please?" I saw the doctor behind her. No way was I going somewhere with a nurse and a doctor, that had conspiracy written all over it. I saw Rachel looking over at me and gave her a nod. She smiled wickedly and walked over strutting her stuff. "
Hey Mr. stalker dude." She said to the doctor. She had been in the doctor's office a lot of times the past few days, because of fights.
"Rachel." he said with a nod.
"Chris?" he added.
"No I can't go with you and nursey." I said softly.
"Come on, Chris, this doesn't have to be difficult."
"Christopher, and no it doesn't, you could go away."
"Christoper... It's important."
"Why?"
"It's about your mum." She said with a resigned look. My mum? She was in the hospital with cancer, why would they need to tell me something about her? I was going to visit her tomorrow. She must of gotten out.
"What about mum?" I said softly not taking their sad awkward faces into consideration.
"Christoper, can you come with us." the doctor said.
"No. what about mum?"
"You should go with them, Christoper." She said in low voice. What was i missing couldn't they just tell me?
"Tell me what's happening with mum!" I said anger rising up, pushing all the caution aside. I wasn't going anywhere.
"She's dead." The nurse said blankly with an anger to it, that cut like the blade of a knife. I paused. Not moving. She wasn't dead, there was no way she was dead. I got up and walked to the phone. My hands were shaking. I dialed dad's number slowly and deliberately. Rachel was standing next to me. Someone else was with her. It rang out.
"I'm sorry Christoper." The doctor said and him and the nurse walked away. No way was mum dead. The last thing she had said... No she wasn't dead.. She can't be dead... She.. she... I dropped to my knees and gave a groan, but I wasn't seeing anything. Someone put a hand on my shoulder. I just remembered the last conversation I had with her. Over and over again those last words.
"No Chris, your not my son anymore. "
"No you shouldn't.." I said but the doctor was already down beside him. I felt the urge to knock the doctor over, to stop him from drugging Jamie. It was an odd feeling like a burning that just builds until you run it under cold water.
I see tears running down Jamie's face, he seemed so innocent, so.... Tainted. He began to struggle and scream to break loose, I remember the fight well, only to well...
Didn't he say he was an addict? Yet he didn't like drugs? The desire the want to know more cascaded over me, what I wanted I got and Jamie would never be hurt again. I walked through the white rooms to the mess hall. Another white antiseptic type smelling room.. I sit at one of the midget tables as a nurse comes over and gives me food. I didn't eat, unless there was food in front of me. I never went looking for food or drink there was no point.
I saw Jamie enter a nurse by his side, she handed him a plastic tray and walked him to a table by the corner. The tables began to slowly begin to fill up. He was frail and shaky. I stood up leaving my tray behind, someone else could eat it, and sat at Jamie's table the nurse gave a warning look and I shrugged at her.
"Hey.." I said softly but he never answered. That was okay, I got it. I never answered after the struggle either. He was staring down at the unappealing slosh on his plate, I wanted to know, what he was thinking. Why he wouldn't look up at me. He seemed to be thinking that I was a threat of some sort.
"Well the rain stopped," I said trying to get something out of him anything. Even just a frown on that pale, disappointed face. I sat there with a book for the remainder of the night. Jamie never said a word. The nurse came over supervising Jamie and handed him some pills. Another nurse came over to me again and looked pained.
"Christopher, would you come with us please?" I saw the doctor behind her. No way was I going somewhere with a nurse and a doctor, that had conspiracy written all over it. I saw Rachel looking over at me and gave her a nod. She smiled wickedly and walked over strutting her stuff. "
Hey Mr. stalker dude." She said to the doctor. She had been in the doctor's office a lot of times the past few days, because of fights.
"Rachel." he said with a nod.
"Chris?" he added.
"No I can't go with you and nursey." I said softly.
"Come on, Chris, this doesn't have to be difficult."
"Christopher, and no it doesn't, you could go away."
"Christoper... It's important."
"Why?"
"It's about your mum." She said with a resigned look. My mum? She was in the hospital with cancer, why would they need to tell me something about her? I was going to visit her tomorrow. She must of gotten out.
"What about mum?" I said softly not taking their sad awkward faces into consideration.
"Christoper, can you come with us." the doctor said.
"No. what about mum?"
"You should go with them, Christoper." She said in low voice. What was i missing couldn't they just tell me?
"Tell me what's happening with mum!" I said anger rising up, pushing all the caution aside. I wasn't going anywhere.
"She's dead." The nurse said blankly with an anger to it, that cut like the blade of a knife. I paused. Not moving. She wasn't dead, there was no way she was dead. I got up and walked to the phone. My hands were shaking. I dialed dad's number slowly and deliberately. Rachel was standing next to me. Someone else was with her. It rang out.
"I'm sorry Christoper." The doctor said and him and the nurse walked away. No way was mum dead. The last thing she had said... No she wasn't dead.. She can't be dead... She.. she... I dropped to my knees and gave a groan, but I wasn't seeing anything. Someone put a hand on my shoulder. I just remembered the last conversation I had with her. Over and over again those last words.
"No Chris, your not my son anymore. "