I Want Someone to Love Me for Who I Am

Once we were in my room, I shut the door and then went over and turned on my television. It wasn't very big, but it was large enough to watch films and play video games. I noticed that Cameron was being quieter than usual, but I didn't make a comment. I wanted to ask him if he was okay, if he was upset, but I wasn't sure if he wanted me to. But it upset me knowing he was sad. It hurt. "What do you want to do first?" I asked him. He shrugged.
"We could play video games first I guess," he said softly. "I mean, you're mum said we had 20 minutes, so no point starting a movie." I smiled and nodded and put in the game we were both currently playing. We sat on the floor and leant back on my bed, each of us holding a controller.

It was quiet as we played, neither of us talking, just occasionally groaning if we won, or cheering if we won. Eventually there was a knock on the door and I pressed the pause button. "Yeah?" I called out, turning towards the door as it opened.
"Hey, boys," mum said, holding a plate. "Cookies?" I grinned at her and jumped up.
"Thanks, mum," I smiled kissing her cheek. Mum just chuckled and shook her head as she walked out of my room again. I went and sat back down, placing the plate on the floor between Cameron and myself. "We could put a movie on now," I suggested and Cameron nodded.
"Which one?" he asked, looking at a couple of them on my shelf.
"I dunno, what do you want to watch?" I asked. He looked at the DVD cases for a while and then pulled out Iron Man. I smiled at him and nodded as he went and put it in the player. He then came and sat next to me again.

As the movie started we were both silent. Cameron kept fidgeting slightly and I wanted to ask him what was up, but I wasn't sure if he'd want to tell me. "Andy, can I ask you something?" Cameron said about half an hour into the movie. I sensed the importance of his question and turned to face him.
"Sure, what's up?" I asked him. He lowered his eyes.
"Have...have you ever...wanted something...something you know you shouldn't want?" he asked me and I frowned.
"Like what?" I asked him, trying to figure out what he would be talking about. "Like..when you want something your parents have told you you're not allowed? Like a pair of trainers or something?" I asked him.
"Um, kinda..." he said, frowning slightly. "But it's not only my parents...it's, like, everyone." I frowned, still trying to think of what he would want but isn’t allowed by everyone.
"What is it that you want?" I asked him, my voice soft, hesitant in case he didn't want to tell me.
"Do you like anyone?" he asked me instead of answering my question.
"You mean...like like?" I asked him. I could feel my cheeks warming up but I hoped he didn't notice.
"Yeah, like, is there anyone who you have a crush on?" he asked and I bit my lip.
"Maybe," I said and then realised how stupid I sounded. But Cameron didn't ask me who it was that I liked, to my greatest relief.
"Well, what if you know that you shouldn’t like the person you like?" he asked me. He finally raised his eyes and looked into mine. I saw conflict in Cameron's gaze, and lifted my hand and placed it over his comfortingly. I didn't even realise what I'd done, I had just done it because I wanted Cameron to know he could talk to me. "What if it's wrong to like the person you like?" he asked me again, desperation in his voice.
"Who are you not allowed to like?" I asked him, my voice coming out as a near whisper. He lowered his eyes again.
"What...what would you say if I told you that...I think I like boys, not girls?" he said quietly, ashamedly. I moved slightly closer to him.
"I would say; me to," I told him and he raised his head in shock. I didn't know where my sudden courage had come from, but I continued talking. "I would also say that no matter who you like, it's never wrong."
"How do you know that?" he asked me softly and I tilted my head.
"Because having those sorts of feelings, caring deeply about someone, no matter what gender they are, cannot be wrong," I told him and he nodded slowly. "So...who do you like?" I asked, my heart suddenly racing. I watched as Cameron blushed and lowered his head even more.
"I, um, I'd rather not say," he said and I mock pouted and he cracked a smile at me.
"I'll tell you who I like if you tell me who you like," I suggested but he still shook his head.

I felt like begging him. I had my suspicions, but they were just that. Just guesses, just hopes. I had no proof that Cameron felt the same way for me as I felt for him. And, I mean, he was gorgeous, funny, and kind. Someone like him wouldn’t like me. I'm plain and boring in comparison to him. I wished that he could, though. I wished that Cameron could like me. Because then our relationship would develop from best friends, to something more. And that would be incredible.