Singing Out Love

"Hey, try not to worry Alex," she looked back at me from the rearview mirror.
It had been rough for the two of us since my dad left when I was twelve. Mom had lost
her job about a year ago and she just couldn't find anything else. Our only choice was to move
here, Seattle, where there were "a lot more opportunities" as Mom said. She was driving me to
my first day at my new school, The Music and Arts Charter of Seattle. My stomach was twisting
and knotting itself until I felt like I might throw up. I had to take my mind off of it. The first
thing I thought of was my father.
My feelings for my dad had always been mixed. Part of me was angry at him, angry at how
he left my mother and I. Angry that he expected me to be the man of the house when I was
only twelve. Angry that I had to start a new school as a high school senior and it was his entire
fault. In another way, I loved my dad. After all, he was my dad and I couldn't help but forgive
him, forgive him for all of the anger I felt towards him.
"Here we are Alex," she said pulling up to the curb.
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat , and I got out of the car. I walked into the
building through the large doorway and entered the main hall of the school. Happily, I
realized that no one was starring at the 'new kid'. I looked at the paper I had received which had
my locker number on it and began to search the halls for it. Deeper and deeper down the old,
cavernous hallways I journeyed to find it but I only found myself getting lost due to my nerves.
As I stopped to figure out where I was I heard a beautiful sound of music echoing through the
hall. It must have been a recording because the piano playing was flawless and the voice,
angelic.
Thought I knew it would make me late to my first class at my new school, I couldn't help
but follow the sound into an increasingly deserted passage. As I wandered further into the
hallway it turned into a dead end. I had two choices, turn around or open the door which I was
certain held the beautiful musician. I opened the door.
Not wanting to disturb whoever was inside, I silently opened the door and saw a lone
piano. The light that I let in from the hallway was the only illumination in the otherwise pitch
dark room. Curious, I pushed the door open further and that was when it made an unsuspected
creaking noise. A noise which made the form at the piano turn around quickly.
She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her long, raven hair and hazel eyes made
her look like something from an old painting. I stood still, unsure of her reaction. She looked at
me for a few moments but made no acknowledgement of me.
“Is someone there?” she said finally.
“ Why, yes.”
Wasn’t that clear? Hadn’t she been staring at me?
“I’m sorry to have disturbed you, you’re a lovely musician,” I added.
“Who are you?” she asked evenly.
“I-I’m new here, my name’s Alex, Alex Hawthorne.”
“Well, Alex Hawthorne, I’m pleased to meet you. I’m Delilah Cohen,” she motioned for
me to take a seat next to her on the piano bench.
She played and sang for me and I was at a loss of words.
“Do you come here every day?” I asked.
“Yeah, I have permission from the principal. There is no piano at my house and I’m
shooting for a music scholarship so, I have to practice sometime. The better question would be,
why are you here?”
Fearing that she didn’t care for my company, I stood up.
“I-I’m sorry. I was looking for my locker and I got lost. I heard your music and got
distracted and…could you please help me find my locker?” I hated it when I rambled on like
this.
She smirked at me and as the bell rang she grabbed something from the side of the piano
and held it out to me.
“Well, I’m not sure how much help I would be.”
She let out a small laugh and I looked down at the object she handed me. Long, and
narrow like some sort of serpent, it lay in my hand. I placed it back in her hand and watched in
awe as she began to walk across the room, using the serpent for her eyes.
“Can I help you?” I asked, rushing over to her.
“Perhaps you should help yourself first,” she answered through a smile and sure enough,
next thing I knew, I was crashing straight into the wall in front of me.
That morning, when she stood there, laughing at me trying to collect my stuff, that was t
he start of our friendship. A friendship that invited me and my mom over to Thanksgiving so it
wouldn’t be so lonely. A friendship that stayed up with me until two in the morning to study for
a midterm. A friendship that brought me to where I was now on that cold February day.
However, it felt like July inside of me.
That day, with a single rose and all of my pent up teenage ambition, I asked that
friendship to turn into a relationship. She agreed with a blush and her own share of pent up
emotion. That spring, the flowers never smelled more beautiful and the birds never sounded so
sweet. However, I took it with a grain of salt.
It was ten past midnight when I answered the door. I was shocked at the figure that I saw
standing in the dark Seattle fog.
“Um…Is Marie Hawthorne there?” he shifted awkwardly between his two feet.
“Dad?” I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
“Alex?” he said with a note of excitement in his voice.
“You’ve grown up on me son!” he welcomed himself in and hugged me tightly.
I heard a creaking on the stairwell and saw my mother, adorned in bathrobe and slippers,
almost faint of shock.
They quickly embraced each other and, in this happy scene, I couldn’t help but feel a
pang of…what was it? Was it jealousy? Anger? It was suspicion. I couldn’t help but feel
suspicious of my father, especially after he mentioned he had recently lost his job. How could I
be sure that he didn’t just come back to mooch of my mom’s newly found job or, heaven forbid,
leave us all over again.
The next day, I went to Delilah’s house. We lay on the roof of her building, side-by-side
and I was watching the stars above us. After a few moments, instead of a piece of advice on my
father this was her response:
“The stars, Alex. They’re beautiful.”
I gave her a quizzical expression .
“How can you know Lila?” I asked.
“I can hear them. I can hear the stars shimmering. I can hear the flowers blooming. I
can hear you smiling at me right now. It’s like the universe is singing a love song to me. The
universe is singing out love, Alex. Can’t you hear it?”
I sat in silence for a few moments, trying to hear this song. I couldn’t but I didn’t want to
tell her that.
“You’ll hear it too one day,” she said, reading my mind.
I was sitting on my bed, trying to get some peace and quiet the day of that fateful call.
All I can remember was running to the hospital, my heart pounding in my chest. When I got
there I frantically found her room, her parents waiting nervously outside the door. Before I
began my interrogation, a woman in a long white coat came over.
“Mr. and Mrs. Hawthorne? Please follow me.” the doctor said.
I followed along behind them into a small consultation room.
“As you may know, your Delilah’s blindness is only a part of a bigger condition. I’m
afraid that the condition is getting worse, “she said.
Mrs. Cohen buried her face in a shocked Mr. Cohen’s arm. I could hardly believe my
ears. I couldn’t let anything happen to her. I wouldn’t.
However, as hard as I tried, I could do nothing to lessen death’s grip on my sweet
Delilah.
I spent my summer sitting with her in room. I was amazed at how perfectly contented
she seemed, even though her next breath wasn’t assured. I remember one particular day when I
sat next to her, holding her hand tightly in mine.
“Someday, Alex, I want to see Carnegie Hall. I want to see Broadway and play at
Juliard.”
“I’ll take you there one day, Lila. I promise.” I gripped her hand tighter and tighter and
felt as though I could never let go. Unfortunately, the night that I finally did let go of her will be
burned into my memory forever.
It was just her and me, her parents went to get coffee and I knew the time was getting
close. I’ll never forget what happened next. Not as long as I live.
“Alex, remember Carnegie, when you see it, think of me.”
“No, Lila! Darling, no! We’ll see it together, remember.”
“Until we meet again, Alex, remember, whenever you’re alone, my voice will always be in the stars, wind, all around you.”
And with that she smiled at me with a look of contentedness I had never witnessed on the
face of any living soul and closed her eyes, that smile frozen on her face forever.
Now, many moons from that night, whenever I stare at the stars, I hear her enchanting
voice. When the spring flowers bloom, I hear her undeniable laughter. Even in the rain, I hear
her poetry. The universe was singing out a song of love song to me, a song of hope. It will be
this hope that will guide me through this life until I can see her face again and she can see mine
for the very first time.