I Just Want You
Clarence
We were all in dads office for the second attempt at this band meeting. Anything that could cause drama -Claire- was gone, dad wanted to get this over with, so there was to be no interruptions. He started talking as soon as Dylan and Oli sat down.
Within the first three minutes I was dieing of boredom. My father was quite long winded when he was trying to be professional. When I looked over at Matty I knew he thought so too.
I took out the little notebook I kept in my back pocket at all times -in case inspiration hit me and I needed to write something down- and a pen.
is it just me or is this boring?
I slipped the note book and pen onto Matty's lap and nudged him under the table. He looked over at me, and I nodded towards his lap. Me looked confused, then looked down and smiled. That smile sent my heart racing, and set off the butterfly's in my stomach.
A minute later the note book was back in my lap. I smiled at Matty before I opened the note book.
it's not just you X) passing notes in a meeting is very unprofessional Ani
I slightly giggled causing my dad to glance at me disapprovingly, which was nothing I wasn't used to. I just kept on with my note.
well I'd rather be unprofessional then bored... you wanna write a story?
I placed the book on Matty's lap again. And moments later it was back on mine.
sure...
I grinned as I wrote you start before handing him the notebook again. And with that we began to write one of the most ridicules stories I'd ever written. We both almost started laughing a few times, but we managed to finish the story before the meeting ended.
“And I think thats all we needed to talk about... you guys can go do.... whatever,” dad said as he pulled out his phone and started to play around with it.
“Thank god,” Matty and I coursed as we stood up.
Matty still had my notebook and was about to hand it back to me, when Lee snatched it away from him.
“What's this then?” Lee chuckled as he started to flip through it.
I didn't really care if he read most of the stuff in the book, but there were somethings in there that I wanted to keep private.
“Please give it back,” I said as I tried to take it from him.
“I just want to see what you were writing the whole meeting,” he laughed as he dashed into the hallway, “I bet Jona a coffee that you were writing love notes.”
“Just give it back,” Matty said as he chased after Lee into the living room.
“Here we are,” Lee cried, “There once was a magical cupcake named Clarence. Clarence was baked my Rachel Ray on her TV show 30 minute meals- Gah!”
Matty had caught Lee and was play choking him. I didn't care if Lee read the story. As long as he didn't read things that were written more to the beginning of the note book I was fine.
“It's okay Matty... let him read it if he wants” I said as I sat on the couch.
Matty sighed and got off of Lee. Everyone except for my father had gathered into the room.
Lee got up and continued to read: “Rachel finished her show and Clarence was waiting for her to eat him, but for some reason she wasn't.
“'Uggh, I cant eat these cupcakes. I'm so fat!' Rachel cried, 'give em' to the camera crew.'
“'Clarence was terrified. The camera men were deformed and smalled of unwashed jock straps. You two are retarded you know that?” Lee looked up from the paper to Matty and I.
I just shrugged as Lee continued, “the camera men started to advance towards Clarence, so he jumped off of the plate he was on and ran for his life.
“Clarence ran until he found a door with a star on it. He figured the star meant the room would be safe. So he entered the room. the room was empty, so he decided to look around. Clarence saw a poster of Harry Potter.
“'Ah, this must me Harry Potters room. Harry Potter is worthy of eating me' Clarence thought. So Clarence decided to wait for Harry Potter on his dressing room table.
“Harry Potter... really?” Lee stopped reading and looked over at us.
“it gets better,“ Matty laughed, “just wait.”
Lee shook his head and continued to read: “'humm this table is quite low' Clarence thought, just as the door opened. Revealing Daniel Radcliffe.
“'Yay Harry- Oh My God!' Clarence cried.
“Daniel Radcliffe was completely naked. Really?” Lee laughed and looked over at us.
“If you're gonna keep stopping then let me read it.” Matty said, his hand outstretched.
Lee shook his head and handed Matty the book, before he took a seat on the floor.
Matty dramatically cleared his throat before beginning to read: “'Oh a cupcake!' Daniel said joyfully as he advanced towards Clarence. Mind you the table was just below waist height, so Daniels pubes were becoming very close to Clarences face. Clarence screamed in terror as the pubes came closer. They became so close that a particularly long pubic hair actually hit Clarence in the face. With that Clarences poor little sprinkle heart had a heart attack, causing him to fall off the table onto the floor.
“'Oh man, my incredibly course, dreaded pubes must have knocked it onto the floor... well I guess that makes sense... they are as course as a fisherman's rope,' Daniel said, as poor Clarence began to arouse from his unconsciousness.”
Everyone burst out laughing, but Oli was the only one so speak up: “Daniel Radcliffes pubes are as course as fishermen's rope?”
“Don't ask me,” Matty shrugged, “that was all Ani.”
I shrugged, and continued to laugh, as Matty stared up again: “as Daniel continued to talk to himself about his pubes, Clarence took advantage of this opportunity and grabbed a pair of scissors off of a nearby desk.
“'Ahh! Take that bitch!' Clarence cried as he dove at Daniels dread locked pubes, slicing them off with the scissors.
“They fell to the floor, as Daniel screamed in shock. He began to cry as he dropped to the floor to try and reclaim his pubes.
“'Aha!' Clarence cried as he grabbed one of the biggest chunks of pubic hair, 'this shall be my sward!'
“And so Clarence ran out of the room, his sward in hand.
“He dashed down hallways, desperately trying to find an escape from the scary TV building. He went from hallway to hallway, until he came across an old man floating in the middle of a hallway.
“'Thats amazing!' Clarence cried as he gazed at the floating old man.
“Why, yes it is my cupcake. Tell me, what is it you seek?' the old man asked.
“Clarence thought about this for a moment, then answered, 'I seek to learn how to defend myself from the frightening pubes of people such as Daniel Radcliffe.'
“'Well then cupcake-'
“'My name is Clarence.'
“'Okay then Clarence, I shall be your sensei. I shall teach you how to use that sward in your hand to defend yourself from the pubic hairs of others.'
“'Oh thank you sensei!' Clarence cried, as he bowed before his sensei.
“the old man quickly stuck his small old penis in Clarence and came, he then ate Clarence. The end.” Matty finished happily chuckling.
Everyone was laughing, whither it was at us or with us, I didn't know. But they were still laughing.
Within the first three minutes I was dieing of boredom. My father was quite long winded when he was trying to be professional. When I looked over at Matty I knew he thought so too.
I took out the little notebook I kept in my back pocket at all times -in case inspiration hit me and I needed to write something down- and a pen.
is it just me or is this boring?
I slipped the note book and pen onto Matty's lap and nudged him under the table. He looked over at me, and I nodded towards his lap. Me looked confused, then looked down and smiled. That smile sent my heart racing, and set off the butterfly's in my stomach.
A minute later the note book was back in my lap. I smiled at Matty before I opened the note book.
it's not just you X) passing notes in a meeting is very unprofessional Ani
I slightly giggled causing my dad to glance at me disapprovingly, which was nothing I wasn't used to. I just kept on with my note.
well I'd rather be unprofessional then bored... you wanna write a story?
I placed the book on Matty's lap again. And moments later it was back on mine.
sure...
I grinned as I wrote you start before handing him the notebook again. And with that we began to write one of the most ridicules stories I'd ever written. We both almost started laughing a few times, but we managed to finish the story before the meeting ended.
“And I think thats all we needed to talk about... you guys can go do.... whatever,” dad said as he pulled out his phone and started to play around with it.
“Thank god,” Matty and I coursed as we stood up.
Matty still had my notebook and was about to hand it back to me, when Lee snatched it away from him.
“What's this then?” Lee chuckled as he started to flip through it.
I didn't really care if he read most of the stuff in the book, but there were somethings in there that I wanted to keep private.
“Please give it back,” I said as I tried to take it from him.
“I just want to see what you were writing the whole meeting,” he laughed as he dashed into the hallway, “I bet Jona a coffee that you were writing love notes.”
“Just give it back,” Matty said as he chased after Lee into the living room.
“Here we are,” Lee cried, “There once was a magical cupcake named Clarence. Clarence was baked my Rachel Ray on her TV show 30 minute meals- Gah!”
Matty had caught Lee and was play choking him. I didn't care if Lee read the story. As long as he didn't read things that were written more to the beginning of the note book I was fine.
“It's okay Matty... let him read it if he wants” I said as I sat on the couch.
Matty sighed and got off of Lee. Everyone except for my father had gathered into the room.
Lee got up and continued to read: “Rachel finished her show and Clarence was waiting for her to eat him, but for some reason she wasn't.
“'Uggh, I cant eat these cupcakes. I'm so fat!' Rachel cried, 'give em' to the camera crew.'
“'Clarence was terrified. The camera men were deformed and smalled of unwashed jock straps. You two are retarded you know that?” Lee looked up from the paper to Matty and I.
I just shrugged as Lee continued, “the camera men started to advance towards Clarence, so he jumped off of the plate he was on and ran for his life.
“Clarence ran until he found a door with a star on it. He figured the star meant the room would be safe. So he entered the room. the room was empty, so he decided to look around. Clarence saw a poster of Harry Potter.
“'Ah, this must me Harry Potters room. Harry Potter is worthy of eating me' Clarence thought. So Clarence decided to wait for Harry Potter on his dressing room table.
“Harry Potter... really?” Lee stopped reading and looked over at us.
“it gets better,“ Matty laughed, “just wait.”
Lee shook his head and continued to read: “'humm this table is quite low' Clarence thought, just as the door opened. Revealing Daniel Radcliffe.
“'Yay Harry- Oh My God!' Clarence cried.
“Daniel Radcliffe was completely naked. Really?” Lee laughed and looked over at us.
“If you're gonna keep stopping then let me read it.” Matty said, his hand outstretched.
Lee shook his head and handed Matty the book, before he took a seat on the floor.
Matty dramatically cleared his throat before beginning to read: “'Oh a cupcake!' Daniel said joyfully as he advanced towards Clarence. Mind you the table was just below waist height, so Daniels pubes were becoming very close to Clarences face. Clarence screamed in terror as the pubes came closer. They became so close that a particularly long pubic hair actually hit Clarence in the face. With that Clarences poor little sprinkle heart had a heart attack, causing him to fall off the table onto the floor.
“'Oh man, my incredibly course, dreaded pubes must have knocked it onto the floor... well I guess that makes sense... they are as course as a fisherman's rope,' Daniel said, as poor Clarence began to arouse from his unconsciousness.”
Everyone burst out laughing, but Oli was the only one so speak up: “Daniel Radcliffes pubes are as course as fishermen's rope?”
“Don't ask me,” Matty shrugged, “that was all Ani.”
I shrugged, and continued to laugh, as Matty stared up again: “as Daniel continued to talk to himself about his pubes, Clarence took advantage of this opportunity and grabbed a pair of scissors off of a nearby desk.
“'Ahh! Take that bitch!' Clarence cried as he dove at Daniels dread locked pubes, slicing them off with the scissors.
“They fell to the floor, as Daniel screamed in shock. He began to cry as he dropped to the floor to try and reclaim his pubes.
“'Aha!' Clarence cried as he grabbed one of the biggest chunks of pubic hair, 'this shall be my sward!'
“And so Clarence ran out of the room, his sward in hand.
“He dashed down hallways, desperately trying to find an escape from the scary TV building. He went from hallway to hallway, until he came across an old man floating in the middle of a hallway.
“'Thats amazing!' Clarence cried as he gazed at the floating old man.
“Why, yes it is my cupcake. Tell me, what is it you seek?' the old man asked.
“Clarence thought about this for a moment, then answered, 'I seek to learn how to defend myself from the frightening pubes of people such as Daniel Radcliffe.'
“'Well then cupcake-'
“'My name is Clarence.'
“'Okay then Clarence, I shall be your sensei. I shall teach you how to use that sward in your hand to defend yourself from the pubic hairs of others.'
“'Oh thank you sensei!' Clarence cried, as he bowed before his sensei.
“the old man quickly stuck his small old penis in Clarence and came, he then ate Clarence. The end.” Matty finished happily chuckling.
Everyone was laughing, whither it was at us or with us, I didn't know. But they were still laughing.
♠ ♠ ♠
Thanks to KillingBarbie for commenting.Sorry for how random this is... I saw a random story that a friend and I had written before, so I decided to make Matty and Anakin write one for shits and giggles X)