Sinking Faster

“You should wear this,” Courtney suggested, tucking a strand of her auburn hair behind her ear. She held up the dress from where she stood on the other end of the room.

I leaned over the twin-sized bed and retrieved it from her, examining it closely. It was a cotton jersey-style dress. The bodice was striped navy and white and the skirt was colored with only navy. It was a good thing that the material wasn’t too thick, which meant I wouldn’t be sweating my ass off in it, because apparently the party we were attending tonight - alongside with the guys, of course - was supposed to be outside. That meant no air-conditioning, but instead, muggy heat, which inevitably made us susceptible and exposed to all of the insects that crawled along the dry ground. Normally under such circumstances, one would not be bothered by this, but spiders, wasps, millipedes, desert snakes, and scorpions seemed to be the only things on my list that could terrorize me to no end. When I was seven, I was bitten by a black-necked garter snake that seemed to be trailing around in the backyard underneath the shrubs where my sister and I were playing innocently. Even though it wasn’t venomous, I was still terrified to death, and it managed to traumatize me ever since.

“Do you like it?” Courtney inquired slowly, standing up and scratching her head curiously.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I actually like it a lot,” I piped up, holding the dress in front of me in the mirror. I slipped into it and grabbed a pair of flats. In no time, I was ready to leave. I waited on Courtney’s behalf, as she had to look “good enough” for John’s approval, although we both knew he’d still like her either way.

It was one thing I didn’t understand about relationships - the idea of having to be impeccable and flawless for someone. It was a waste, in my opinion. There were days where I’d wake up with yesterday’s eyeliner piled on my face and I didn’t give a shit about it, whether it was due to my idleness in the early dawn or because of the overwhelming feeling of apathy that came from within myself. It almost made me feel nauseated when I’d watch Courtney spend minutes in the mirror applying various foundations and bronzes over and over again, or agonizing over the freckles on her face. She was a pretty girl, and it was quite obvious that John seemed to agree, since he was always coddling her with nice comments and affection. The reasons for her insecurities would remain unknown.

We finally did leave, forty-five minutes later, in Courtney’s minivan; we were supposed to meet the guys when we arrived there, which wasn‘t going to be anytime soon.

“Don’t get too trashed tonight, okay?” Courtney glanced over at me from the wheel, her soft face concerned. “I, uh - I know your mom’s been pressuring you lately, and I know about what happened with Tom, but I just don’t want you doing -”

“I know, I know. You don’t want me doing anything stupid,” I finished dully for her, staring straight ahead at the road through the windshield.

Courtney bit her lip, fiddling with the phone in her lap. “That’s not exactly what I meant,” she replied tediously. “I just - I just don’t want anything drastic happening tonight, you know?”

I shrugged. “Don’t worry so much, Court. Everything will be fine,” I told her confidently, opening the car door as it came to a stop in the driveway. I noted that both John and Garrett’s cars were parked idly along street, so I figured that most of the guys were here already.

“Oh, damn, look at you, Nicole,” John whistled from behind the gate as Courtney and I walked up the path into the back yard. “You look good.” While saying this, he wrapped his arm around Courtney’s shoulder, whispering softly in her ear.

I giggled awkwardly. “You don’t look so bad, yourself, John.” He stuck his tongue out at me while Courtney laughed uncontrollably about something he’d said.

I soon walked over toward where the coolers were, fetching myself a wine cooler. I figured I’d start off light, since the sun was not close to setting anytime soon. I saw Garrett across the lawn, by the small pool, chatting with some guy that had black shaggy hair. I could only assume that he was one of the many people I didn’t know here.

“Nicole!” Kennedy greeted me, bending down to get a bottle from the cooler. “What’s up?”

“Kennedy!” I laughed, moving out of his way. “Not much. We just got here. I was surprised we didn’t get lost.”

Kennedy nodded, rubbing his face. “Yeah, me too,” he agreed. “Me and Pat had no idea where Garrett was driving. He blasted his music up really loud so he couldn’t hear anyone. He‘s a bitch and he was driving like he was on acid.”

“You talkin’ about me?” a voice none other than Garrett’s came from behind Kennedy. He was wearing a white v-neck, a leather jacket on top of it, black shades covering his eyes. He then proceeded to hug me, slowly squeezing my side.

“Yeah, we are,” Kennedy smirked at him, sipping his beer.

“Oh, really,” Garrett observed, glancing from him to me. “What exactly did you say?”

“We were talking about how crazy you drive,” I informed him, smirking.

“Psh,” he said, “Don’t mock my driving. You know I’m the only sane one out of all of you.”

Kennedy shook his head, laughing. “You’re one crazy ass. I’m going to talk to Jared now.” He proceded walked over to Jared was, over near the deck.

“You know he’s the crazy one, right?” Garrett asked, taking his sunglasses off, sliding them into his pocket.

I rolled my eyes, chuckling. “If you say so, Gar.”

“Believe what you want, Freeman. After all, it‘s not my fault that you go around fucking people,” He replied half seriously, a playful grin slowly spreading across his mouth. “And you call me crazy.”

“Really, Garrett?” I asked him, startled. “Do you really want to go there right now?”

He said nothing but continued to stare at me, his blue eyes indifferent. I shook my head and began to walk away before he grabbed my elbow. “Wait,” he called out.

“What?” I snapped. “That was really uncalled for.”

“I know…” He muttered, pausing to look me up and down, stepping closer to me. “You look really good today.”

“What?” I asked in disbelief, shaking his arm off of mine. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I’m sorry,” he replied insincerely, rolling his eyes. “It just slipped out, I -”

“That‘s what you always say,” I stated flatly, crossing my arms. “Bye, Garrett.” I walked away, toward Kennedy and Jared on the deck, where they were talking animatedly about some chick that Jared was interested in. I wasn’t in the mood to pry at all, so I walked up into the kitchen through the glass door, where various people were situated around the island, playing flip cup.

I noticed that someone was approaching me, but it wasn’t someone I instantly recognized. “Drinks for the pretty lady?” he asked, holding out a red cup in front of me.