You're a Cute Type of Ignorant

Ambers P.O.V.

"Amber, Amber!" The teacher screeched at me. I looked up. "Honey, What's wrong? Go to guidance, okay?"

I stood up and left the classroom, all eyes on me. I hardly heard the whispers anymore, it was best to just dismiss them. When I did catch a word or two, it hardly mattered. Nothing Mattered.

I wasn't going to guidance. Three teachers had already sent me there, and it was just a load of shit. That fucking woman didn't understand me. How could she possibly understand the only person who never hurt you in your life, leaving, without a goodbye. What about when that person promised they would never hurt you? What the hell did she know about being gang raped by you're ex boyfriend and his friends. What did she know about those labels that marked her, the friends who left her, the Dad who died?

*
But she didn't think about that anymore. She didn't think about anything. Yes, occasionally Lyle would cross her mind, and break her heart. You can never forget someone you're in love with truly. Lyle haunted her. She swore, she could smell him sometimes. She could feel his presence while she slept. About a month ago, she thought she felt a cold finger brush her cheek, but when she woke up, it was just the memory of him. That haunting memory.
*

I walked in the door, expecting to be yelled at for ditching school early but my mom came up and greeted me with a hug.

"Happy Birthday, sweetie!" She exclaimed. I tried my best to smile, it was my birthday?

"Thanks, Mom."

"So, what do you want to do, You want to go out to eat somewhere? How about that nice Italian place in town? Their lasagna is so good."

"It's 11:30, mom."

"Oh, well then let's go out for brunch. It'll be fun come on, no need to get dressed everyone is in school right now." She rambled excitedly, dragging me out the door and me not bothering to protest.

*****
I came home from the local diner exhausted. I just lied to my mom about every aspect of my life. She wondered if Tully, that "guy who always hung around" was my boyfriend and I explained Anna, the "girl who sometimes drove me home." She wanted all the dirt on them so I "dished" meaning I made up random stuff about them. We didn't really talk, but they were always there. I appreciated they cared but, they just reminded me of Lyle so much, and Tully seemed to be hiding something from me. I knew he knew where Lyle was. I don't understand why he won't tell me. It hurt to think he made Tully promise not to tell me where, did he think I was obsessed with him and would stalk him?

No, stop thinking. No thinking. I need to sleep...

"Amber! You've got a letter!"

"Mom you don't need to scream, I'm right here!!"

"Oh, I'm sorry hun. I didn't realize you were sleeping. Here," She tossed me a heavy envelope.

Who would send me a letter? At first I thought it was some kind of company like "sign up for this and we'll give you free candy!" cue happy couple with thumbs up. However, it was a personal letter. There was no return address. I opened it.

For such a heavy envelope, you would expect at least a couple of pages, right? I got five words.

"Happy Birthday. I'm so sorry."

The object that made the envelope heavy was something wrapped in a bunch of bubbly paper. I opened it and found a necklace. It was beautiful. A golden chain with a locket heart that had pearls and diamonds all over it. It was really heavy and looked real.

I put it on and cried myself to sleep.