You're a Cute Type of Ignorant

Looking at myself in the mirror I started to laugh. I can never take anything seriously. I was getting so nervous just because some girl was coming to pick me up. Not just any girl though. Amber. Amber, Amber, Amber. I tried out my lovesick school girl swoon in the mirror. Then I laughed some more.

Amber is calling me on my cell phone. Should I pick up charmingly or just say hello in a cool tone?

"Heylow?" I answer, my voice cracking. Humph. Yoda's gone, now I'm a 12 year old boy.

"Hey Lyle, I'm outside."

"Oh... okay,be right out."

"Janet I'm going out," I say to my foster mom. She raises her head to answer.

I walk out to her car. A black BMW, I'm surprised her license plate isn't "PR1NC3SS." But, alas! She has pink seat covers. This girl is so tacky it's cute. I walk down the steps and trip. Mr. Smooth. Getting in the car, Tully isn't there. Shit. Ah my speaker, my translator. How will me and "PR1NC3SS" communicate? Will it be the ultimate awkward silence? Or maybe we'll have our first fight. Or make silent love in the backseat. It's roomy enough.....

"Lyle. Hello. Anyone there?" Amber asked, knocking on my head with her knuckles. I blushed and laughed, then held it back with a snort. I'm surprised a snot booger didn't shoot out, it would have made the situation so much better.

"Red's your color Lowry," she says, pulling out of the driveway. Her car smells like coffee and coconuts. I don't see any air fresheners though. She see's my looking for it.

"It's my hair bud. I use coconut shampoo," I nodded to show her I heard. "Do you realize I'm having a one way conversation?" She said 35 seconds later.That's right, I counted.

"Oh.. Sorry. Where's Tully?"

"Tully who?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Tully. Looks like the Hulk without the green tint. Red hair suited for carrot top if he would grow it out."

"Tully," She says, nodding her head "He's not coming,"

What?! "What?!"

"He said he was sick."

I know damn well that Tully is not sick. He's probably sitting at home playing video games or looking at porn. Or both. He probably plotted this because he sees how I act around her. God damn your good intentions Tully, damn them to the 9th level of hell!

"Oh. So where are we going?"

"My ex boyfriends house."

"For what kind of revenge?"

"That's where you come in," She turns to look at me and smiles.

" I can't just think of good revenges. It comes on an impulse randomly. What'd he do to you? Maybe that will help?" I was starting to get comfortable talking to her.

"He just.... hurt me," She answered, the smile fading. This was not acting.

Two hours, three cartons of eggs, and seven rolls of toilet paper later , we were back in Ambers car. She was a lot more then what I was expecting. She's smart. She's funny. She's beautiful. I'm falling for her. She notices me staring at her in the car.

"Staring is rude, Pube." she said, using my new nickname. I have no idea where it came from.

" You know how you said you watch people? I do too. I can read them. I've never found someone as hard to read as you. It's like one second I think I have it.. and then it's something totally irrelevant."

"Pubes, I'm so proud you're using full sentences now. You used to hardly mutter a word."

"Changing of subject much? And yes, I'm shy believe it or not."

"No I think you want me," she said, stopping the car in the middle of the road. It was late and there was no other cars.

"Wha-What? W-Why do you think that?"

"Calm down Jumpy I'm just teasing you," the car remained in the middle of the street.

I tried to look in her eyes. She noticed what I was doing and put the car in drive. We drove in silence for a few minutes until I spoke up.

"I do think your pretty."

She beamed. "Really?"

"Yeah.. Pretty ugly! "

She started bursting out in giggles. "What, are you 5?!"

"No I am just in the corny joke fan club. Like say hi to your knee."

For the rest of the ride we told each other bad jokes. When we got my house she got out and opened the door for me. I sat there looking at her.

"What? I'm being a gentleman."

I laughed. "Your so different then from what I thought of you," I told her walking up my steps. She stopped and looked at me.

"What, did you think I was a slut?" she said in a harsh tone.

"No! Not at all Amber. I haven't even heard you did anything with anyone ever."

"Well that's a lie. You've had to hear the rumors circulating about me," She started to tremble.

"No, really. People don't pay attention to me, vice versa."

"Oh. Sorry." She said,lamely

I hugged her. I couldn't help it, she looked so sad. Her body in my arms was so warm, and she smelled like coconuts. I breathed in her scent. "What did he do to you?" I asked about her ex.

"Just forget it," she whispered, her eyes cast downwards. "It's all in the past."

"I'll call you tomorrow?" I ask hopefully.

"Please do," She smiled and got into her car, and drove away.