Another Bloody Monday

--- Lizzy

I started on my way home from school before the end of last period. Since I went to an all guy’s school when they had health instead of gym class I could just go home early. I had already stopped at the grocery store to pick up some junk food.

The girls and I had a gig at one of the local bars tonight, and after our gigs we tend to pig out and eat all of the junk food we can find.

I opened the door and brought the food inside and threw the bags on the table. I turned on the CD player and cranked one of my Kill Hannah CDs. I put away the junk food and went upstairs to get changed from my school clothes into a pair of black skinny jeans with a black and red studded belt and a white tank top with ‘The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’ written on it in fading letters. I put on some more eyeliner and slipped on a few random wrist bands.

I went back down stairs and cleaned up the kitchen and living room because they were disaster zones, plus I knew they’d just get way worse after the show. I threw a bunch of our demos, some of our ‘posters’ and a bunch of our T-shirts in a duffel bag and put it next to the guitars and keyboard in the cases. We didn’t need to bring Rachel’s drums because the bar preferred to use the headliners kits so we just used them, because they let us of course.

---Rachel

God math is boring, I sighed and rested my chin on my hand and started doodling on pages of my notebook. The only thing worse than math class is having to suffer through it as the last class of the day. I can’t wait to get out of here and go to Lizzy’s, chill out for a while then go play a kick ass show.

Finally the bell rang and I left quickly. I made my way to my locker and threw my books inside. I grabbed my bag with clothes for the show and closed my locker. I went to find Violet and Stella.

---Stella

I was sitting in the ‘audience’ of my drama class watching the last group perform their yearend anthology projects. The bell had already gone but everyone had to stay until the last group was finished. God why did my stupid teacher make us stay, it’s not like we actually cared about what they were talking about. The last group to go was a bunch of preppy girls who spent their rehearsal time smoking pot instead of working, I know I’m not really in a position to talk but I only smoke once I’ve gotten everything done.

The girls stood there laughing every time they messed up or said something wrong. I sighed and slipped my head phones under my sweater and turned down the volume so only I could hear it. I sighed again and waited impatiently for the group of skanks to get off the stage.

Once the torture was finally over I went to my locker and grabbed my clothes for the show. I went to Violet’s locker and found Rachel was waiting there for her too.

---Violet

I just finished my poetry presentation for English class and sat back down at my seat in the back of the class. The class clapped and I slid down in my seat. I hated it when the people in my class clapped. I knew they didn’t really like what was being said they just clapped because they had to.

I sighed and put my books in my bag as the last presenter was talking. She had written a poem about a puppy, which sounded like she stole her little sisters poem and decided to change a few words so it sounded more intelligent.

The bell rang and I stood up. The class left and I was about to when Mr. Walker asked me to stay a minute longer.

“Could you come here for a minute?” He asked from his desk. I walked over and let my bag fall off my shoulder onto a desk behind me.

“Yes, Mr. Walker?” I asked.

“Is everything alright at home?” He asked curiously.

“Yes, of course, what makes you say that?”

“Well the poem you just recited was deeply disturbing.” He replied.

“I fail to see how it was disturbing.” I replied.

“Well your metaphors and general imagery were in some ways horrifying.” He said.

“I still fail to see the connection.”

“Well when you wrote, ‘like stabbing a knife in my throat, Making it impossible to breathe’ that sounds rather morbid.”

“I don’t find it morbid, but you have your opinion, if you’ll excuse me I must leave, I have a gig I need to rehearse for.” I replied and grabbed my bag and left.

I went to my locker and threw my bag inside. Rachel and Stella were waiting there for me.

---Rachel

We left the building and walked over to the Starbucks to meet Jazzy. We saw her waiting out front with a coffee in hand. She joined us and we kept on our way to Lizzy’s. Once we got there we knew Lizzy was already home because we could hear ‘Crazy Angel’ from half a block away.

We knocked on the door waiting for her to answer it. We knew she didn’t hear us so we let ourselves in. Stella and I went upstairs to get changed. I came back down in red skinny jeans and a black tank top. Stella was wearing a black and red plaid-ish skirt with leggings and a black ‘To Write Love On Her Arms’ T-shirt.

“SHIT!” I heard Violet yell from the living room.

“What?” I said as I ran into the room.

“I forgot my clothes for the show!” She said in a panic.

Jazzy to the rescue!

---Jazzy

“Well, you’re wearing ripped jeans, and you do have a tank top on underneath your shirt right?” I asked.

“Yeah, but it’s a little short.” She replied.

“So, just unbutton your school shirt. And wear that.” I said in a duh tone.

“You know you can just borrow my clothes right?” Lizzy interjected.

“It’s okay, I like Jazzy’s idea,” She said unbuttoning her shirt. “But can I borrow some eyeliner?” She asked.

“Sure no prob, it’s on my dresser upstairs.” She said letting Violet through to go up the stairs.

We all applied more eyeliner and pulled our hair out of the mandatory ponytails. We fixed our hair to the way we liked. We grabbed our instruments, well Rachel took Vi’s keyboard and Vi took the merch bag. Lizzy locked the door behind us and we took off for the venue, well bar.

Once we got there we got our guitars ready and set up the amps that they had for us. Once we did that we left since we didn’t even have to be at the venue for another two hours.

We went to the pizza place across the street. Rachel and Stella went to get the pizza and drinks. They came back a few minutes later with two pepperoni pizzas and five cokes. We pigged out on pizza, which is one of our pre-show rituals, then left. We still had a little over an hour until we had to be back at the venue.

We walked down the main street of our town until we found the CD store and went inside. We were instantaneously bombarded by pop music, hip-hop crap and Disney stars. We fought our way through the noxious ‘odeur du crap’, without throwing up our pizza I might add, and made our way to the incredibly small section of the store that had the music we liked.

We looked around for a while, while getting shifty looks from the store clerk. We saw they had nothing new and walked out of the store, once again resisting the urge to throw up as we passed the crap.

We slowly wandered back to the bar and went inside past the line of people waiting to get in. A roar from the crowd erupted as we walked by. We even signed a few autographs before going inside.

We all sat down at the bar, Stella, Rachel and I ordered a beer, and the other two girls ordered coke, since they couldn’t drink yet, well not legally. When the bar tenders weren’t looking we let them steal some of ours.

THE PERFORMANCE

---Lizzy

We walked onstage through the tangled cords from the amps and instruments. Stella, Jazzy and I walked up to the mic-stands next to our guitars. Violet adjusted the mic that hung over her keyboard.

“How’s everyone tonight?” I yelled into the mic.

Everyone cheered and applauded.

“That’s awesome; we want to have a real great time tonight! So get on your feet and enjoy.” I yelled as everyone who was sitting down stood up.

We started playing the first few cords of our song ‘Screwed’, the crowd cheered loudly.
As I played and started to sing I saw Mike standing in the audience. I saw a tear roll down his cheek.

Screwed was about one night nearly a year ago. We were sitting in my bedroom and we were shooting up, I had already lined up a small amount of cocaine. Mike had left the room for a couple of minutes and I nearly died.

I was under so much stress and our sister had just died that not even the high was helping; I took the razor blade next to the cocaine and slashed my wrists probably half a dozen times. I was losing a lot of blood.

When Mike came back in and found me, since he was high too, he wasn’t thinking so he didn’t think to cover it up and stop the bleeding. He went to get our father to bring me to the hospital. He basically turned around and slapped Mike in the face.

By then I had passed out from the blood loss.

Mike carried me out to the car and stole the keys and drove me to the hospital. It was two weeks before I woke up in the hospital.

Never in our lives was Mike happier to hear the beeping on a heart monitor then that night. I woke up and saw him half asleep sitting next to me, his warm hands wrapped around mine. He informed me that our parents didn’t want to even know if I was still alive.

Once I got home my parents wouldn’t talk to me for a few weeks. The only thing my father’s said to me since was that I disgusted him; he slapped me in the face and walked away.

Within a month or so we had gone to court and were legally emancipated from our parents. Mike and I lived together and our parents had to pay support until we’re 18.

---Jazzy

“Okay so now we’re going to play a song called ‘My Heroine’ by Silverstein.” I said and started to play, the crowd cheered.

‘The drugs began to peak
A smile of joy arrives in me
But sedation changes to panic and nausea
And breath starts to shorten
And heart beats are softer

You won’t try to save me
You just want to hurt me
And leave me desperate

You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can’t forget the times,
I was lost and depressed,
From the awful truth
How do you do it?
You’re my Heroine

You won’t leave me alone
Chisel my heart out of stone
I give in every time

You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can’t forget the times,
I was lost and depressed,
From the awful truth
How do you do it?
You’re my Heroine

I bet you laugh, at the thought of me
Thinking for myself
I bet you believe
That I’m better off with,
You than someone else
Your face arrives again
A hope I had becomes surreal

But under your covers
More torture than pleasure
And just past your lips
There’s more anger than laughter
Not now or forever
Will I ever change you
I know that to go on,
I’ll break all my habits

You taught my heart
I can’t forget the times,
I was lost and depressed,
From the awful truth
How do you do it?
You’re my Heroine

And I will save my self’

--- Stella

The floor of the bar was thumping, not only from the booming of the bass and the beats coming from Jazzy and Rachel, but from the crowd of people moshing all around us.

“Next we’re gonna play a song by Jimmy Eat World.” I yelled into my mic as the crowd cheered.

“It’s called pain!” Violet yelled into her own mic.

We started to play and the crowd started jumping again. Before we even started singing this guy jumped up on stage and jumped off hoping to crowd surf. It failed because even in the packed, small bar everyone pushed to the sides away from him. He smashed into the floor and security rushed over to get him up. We kept playing not sure what to do.

“The show must go on!” Lizzy said into her mic and the crowd seemed to agree.

‘I don't feel the way I've ever felt.
I know.
I'm gonna smile and not get worried.
I try but it shows.
Anyone can fake what I have built.
And better now.
Anyone can find the same white pills.

It takes my pain away.
It's a lie.
A kiss with opened eyes.
And she's not breathing back.
Anything would bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Never mind, these are horrid times.
Oh oh oh. I can't let it bother me.

I never thought I'd walk away from you.
I did.
But it's a false sense of accomplishment.
Every time I quit.
Anyone can see my every flaw.
It isn't hard.
Anyone can say they're above this all.

It takes my pain away.
It's a lie.
A kiss with opened eyes.
And she's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Never mind, these are horrid times.
Oh oh oh. I can't let it bother me.
I can't let it bother me.

It takes my pain away.
It's a lie.
A kiss with opened eyes.
And she's not breathing back.
Anything could bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Never mind these are horrid times.
Oh oh oh. I can't let it bother me.
Takes my pain
Takes my pain
Takes my pain.
Takes my pain away.’

We played a few more of our own songs, ‘Fuck Them All’, ‘Get up and Leave’, and ‘Free From You’. We still had time for a few more songs so we decided to play one of Lizzy’s favorites.

“Next we’re going to play ‘Unwanted’ by ‘Kill Hannah’.” I yelled. The crowed responded with their usual cheers.

‘I dedicate this song
To the boys who don't belong
To the girls who get it wrong
I'm dedicating this
To the ones who don't fit in
Are you hearing this?
Are you hearing this?

Unwanted, unneeded
You've always been mistreated
Hang on!
(Don't do what they say to)
Unwanted
And been for so long
Say, "Hey, Mom!
I'm never coming home again!"

I dedicate this song
To my boys who are strong
They just don't go along
I'm dedicating this
To the girls who don't exist
In the orphanage
Oh, now hear this!

Unwanted, unneeded
We've always been frustrated
Hang on!
(Don't do what they say to do)
Unwanted and been forever
Say, "Hey, Mom!
We're never going home again!"

I dedicate this song
To the ones who don't belong
Unwanted
(Wanted Wanted Wanted)
Unwanted
(Wanted Wanted Wanted)
Unwanted
(Wanted)
Unneeded
(Unneeded)
Unwanted
(Wanted Wanted)

Hang on!
We're never going home again!’

---Rachel

Jazzy took her mic off of the stand and handed it to me.

“Okay so this is our last song for the night, and it’s by one of our favorite bands, note Lizzy’s T-shirt,” I said with a laugh, “‘Misery Loves It’s Company’ by ‘The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’.” I passed the mic back and started to play.

‘Listen close as the rain falls down to the ground

It's true, we are
We are destined to fail
It's true, we are
We are destined to fail

That leaves a problem here with our society
The absence of my tears is my sobriety
I have a growing fear and you're not helping me
Am I the only one who realizes it's true?

Beat but I'm not broken
Guide me through with your hand
Leave with your words spoken
Show me how to listen

You're persecuting me, showing hypocrisy
I have a remedy for your insecurity
It's all the same, sadly
Nobody works for free
Am I the only one who realizes it's true

Beat but I'm not broken
Guide me through with your hand
Leave with your words spoken
Show me how to listen

Let your light shine through me
Take this hate I can release
Help me make the blood see
Misery loves its company

When I dream, I see dawn turn into dusk, into dusk

Beat but I'm not broken
Guide me through with your hand
Leave with your words spoken
Show me how to listen

Let your light shine through me
Take this hate I can release
Help me make the blood see
Misery loves its company

It's true, we are
We are destined to fail
It's true, we are
We are destined to fail’

The crowd cheered and applauded as we walked off stage. Jazzy, Lizzy and Stella all took their guitars with them. Once everyone was off stage on of the tech guys came up and untangled Vi’s keyboard, and brought it and the stand backstage. They put their stuff in the cases and went out to the merch table and got everything set up. People were starting to leave since the next opening band wasn’t all that great.

We sold everything by the time the other band was done and all we had left were pictures. A bunch of people were asking for autographs and pictures. We love taking pictures with our fans so we gladly agreed. Once most of the crowd was gone we stepped away from the merch table.

We went back inside and got our instruments. We also caught up with Mike. We walked back to Lizzy’s house and got our gear set back up in the garage. We all piled into the kitchen and collected all the food we could find, like we usually do.

--- Violet

We brought all the food into the living room and laid out what we had found on the table. We had found a few bags of chips, a few bottles of coke, cookies and various other things. We also made popcorn. I know we eat a lot but we’ve always been like that after shows. Well we all normally eat a lot any way.

Mike joked about how we should all weigh like three-hundred pounds. When really we all look practically starved. We normally throw stuff at him as a response. He just laughs and throws whatever it is back at us.

All of a sudden Lizzy jumped off the couch and ran over to the TV. She put a DVD in the player and ran back over to the couch. We all knew that she put in a scary movie, like she always does. Mike and I both get scared really easily at the movies. Normally we just watch and cover our eyes when something scared us. Everyone else normally laugh when we scream, unless they’re screaming too.

I screamed and hid my eyes in Mike’s shoulder. He screamed too and covered his eyes with my hair. I laughed a little at how a room full of girls was less scared then he was. Even I was less scared. To be fair, he hasn’t been in as many fights as we have, but he’s always there helping me and Lizzy through everything. Even when we’re being crazy.

I know what you’re thinking, I like Michael. When we first met I did, of course we were seven. But know we’ve grown so close that he and Lizzy are like family, they’re more family then my real family anyway. And I’m completely against incest, so nothing would ever happen between us.

Once the scary movie was over Lizzy put in ‘Blades of Glory’. We started watching it but soon we were all crashing from the incredibly high amounts of sugar we had consumed. We all fell asleep within a few minutes.