Status: Hm...
Drowning Lessons
.01
Oli’s P.O.V
Except for the red exit signs and my computer screen the room was dark. The office room was dead compared to assiduous atmosphere during the day. Being the only sound in the room, the tapping on the keyboard sounded louder than a rock slide. I finished the email and sent it, pushing my stubborn hair out of my eyes. Turning off the computer plunged the already dim office room into darkness. I turned my cell phone on, bringing light back into the dark room. I hated working late, I wanted to be home with Nat and plan our wedding. Not to be dramatic, but I loved her more than life itself. I dialed home as I stepped into the elevator. The ringing bounced off the walls amplifying the sound. It rang twice before she picked up.
“Hey Oli, it’s been lonely here. Are you coming home anytime soon?”
“Yeah I’m sorry, I just finished. I’ll be home in twenty minutes.”
“Okay, see you then.”
I snapped my phone shut as the doors opened to the lobby. This room was lit by a single lamp at the security desk, when I went outside the street lights were still brighter. It was probably stupid to be walking the streets of downtown New York at night. Of course I had a car, but I’d rather walk. It was only 5 blocks and the night air of May felt good.
Madina’s P.O.V
I was standing in an alley. There was a gang conversing near me and one of the street lights had burned out. I was terrified. One of the gang members threw a bottle up. It hit the underside of a fire escape and shattered. Broken glass rained down and they laughed at it. I couldn’t imagine why they found that amusing. This was the bad part of town, a place that druggies and prostitutes called home. Music drifted out from an apartment above.
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
Off guard, red handed
Now I'm far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..
I need something else
Would someone please just give me
Hit me, knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh
All I want inside I still am empty
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
The gang was all quiet now. They seemed to be listening,like dogs. No, like wolves looking for prey. Stupid stupid gangs, they were nothing but stupid people doing stupid things to ruin other peoples lives. Stupid. They turned to leave the darkness of the alley. I followed these killers. It was why I was here wasn’t it? Someone is going to die. They kept going until they emerged on the street. It was completely deserted, except for one lonely man. He was walking without looking. His feet followed a familiar path with his head thrown back to study the stars. He was screwed. "Don't do it. Please don't do it." I whispered. No one could hear me. No one was listening. Without a sound I took her down. They infiltrated the shadows around him, enjoying his ignorance. He finally heard them, but too late. He turned around to get a fist in the face. I turned away. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to hear it. Shouting and thuds. Still nobody's listening. After an eternity of crouching in the ditch with hands over my ears it stopped. No more shouting. Laughing and footsteps fast on the pavement. Stupid people. I cautiously stepped over to his broken form on the ground. A kiss goodbye, your twisted shell. As rice grains and roses fall at your feet. Let's say goodbye, the hundredth time. And then tomorrow we'll do it again. He stirred and opened his eyes. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up with me. Pulled him away, away from the life he knew. We ran. I pulled him along as fast as I could, I didn’t want to see what we left behind, who we left behind. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away.
Oli’s P.O.V
I dragged her down I took her out. And back there I left her where no one could see and lifeless cold into this well. I can’t piece it together. One minute I’m seeing stars the next I’m running behind some kid. What is happening? I fell like I’ve left some part of me behind. The same words are whispering over and over again. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. I stopped dead, and shook my head trying to discern my thoughts. The only thing I’m thinking is WHAT THE HELL. The girl turned and looked at me. She had grey eyes and dirty blond hair. She was looking at me like I was missing something painfully obvious.
“Come on,” she said. “We have to go.” She grabbed my hand again but I wasn’t going anywhere.
“No.” I said. I wanted some answers. “What just happened? Who are you? Where do we need to go? Goddamn it tell me something!” Her eyes flashed with irritation.
“Why do you never understand? No one EVER understands!” I never thought it'd be this way just me and you, we're here alone and if you stay, all I'm asking for is. “Just trust me on this, please.” She said sounding exasperated.
“Why should I? Who the hell are you?” I always have been and always will be stubborn. She sighed,
“I’m Madina, happy? Can we go now?”
“Where are we going?!” I wanted to scream in frustration. I was getting no answers, I wanted to go home.
She was getting mad now. In that little kid you-don’t-understand-what-I-mean, kind of way.
“We don’t have time left! You don’t! Now will you just come with me? A thousand bodies piled up I never thought would be enough to show you just what I’ve been thinking.
“NO! Get away from me, I don’t need your help I’m going home!”
“Yes you do! Just come with me!” This was turning into a full out shouting match. The dreamlike quality in the air had turned back into a cold night in New York. I just turned away and went back in the direction I came from.
Madina’s P.O.V
He glared at me and turned around. Why do they never understand?
“Come back here!” I lost control of everything. He couldn’t go back. I ran after him trying to catch up. The air turned colder the farther he went. I reached hard pavement again and caught sight of him turning the corner. NO he can’t go back. I can’t let him go back.
Oli’s P.O.V
I kept running until I hit the corner. Stupid kid! That must’ve looked great, an adult shouting at a little girl like a teenager. And I’ll keep on making more, just to prove that I adore, every inch of sanity. I recognized where I was now. It kept getting colder, it didn’t feel like May anymore. I found the path I followed each night. That’s where I was. That’s where I am. I’m still there. It hit me like a sledgehammer. To see myself there, broken and bleeding, lying in the dirt, how is this happening? The girl, Madina was at my side again. I barely noticed. What happened? Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. I’m falling in the black, slipping through the cracks. Falling through the depths can I ever come back? Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. She slipped her hand in mine, breaking the trance. No, stop it. I don’t get it, I don’t want to understand. I wrenched my hand away from her, still staring there.
“Come on” she whispered. She grabbed my hand again and broke my gaze. “We have to go.” I ran.
Madina’s P.O.V
I came up behind him watching him crumble. I hate this part, but maybe now he’ll understand. “We have to go,” I whispered. He took a moment to send me a smoldering glare and ran. He didn’t bother looking where he was going. He just ran. No I guess he doesn’t understand. This is not going well. I have no chance of catching up with him though I still have to try. I have to make him understand. He can’t stay here. He doesn’t want to stay here. I ran after him, the soles of my shoes slapping on the sidewalk. The rhythm seemed to mock how much slower I ran compared to his aggressive speed. I was getting frustrated again. Nothing I can do is ever good enough. Finally I saw him. He took a turn onto a back street and ran up to a green door.
Oli’s P.O.V
I ran home, ran away from the freakish nightmare that could not be true. There is no way I’m – I’m not dead, just over-worked. Any minute I’ll wake up with piles of work to finish. I reached home, but couldn’t open the door. Why was it locked it shouldn’t be locked. I banged on the door, nothing happened. The solid green door was seemingly a barrier from my nightmare to the reality, a reality I desperately wanted back. I tried harder, where was Nat? Couldn’t she hear me? I ran around to the front of the house, she was standing in the window looking for me. I’m right here! I wanted to scream but I didn’t have the breath, I was suffocating. She couldn’t see me. She can’t see me. This can’t be happening. These hands stained red from the times that I’ve killed you and then, we can wash down this engagement ring with poison and kerosene.
Madina’s P.O.V
He stood before the window looking completely defeated. I think he understands now. I wasn’t sure how to approach him, I don’t want to send him off again.
“Will you please listen to me now?” He turned to me livid, shaking with rage.
“NO I WILL NOT YOU STUPID BITCH YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT! LEAVE ME ALONE JUST GO AWAY.”
He was taking it all out on me. I understand but he still doesn’t. We’ll laugh as we die and celebrate the end of things with cheap champagne. Please don’t run again. I begged silently. He seemed to read my thoughts.
“I have nowhere else to run.”
“It’s not my fault. I’m only here to help you.” I think I lost my last chance a while ago, probably a full out explanation is better at this part. This is my least favorite way to go, but sometimes it’s the only way. Even I don’t know the ‘why’ part of it.
“Ok, I’m dead, you are dead. I have to help you get out of this world because you can’t find your way on your own. I know you don’t want to, but you will understand. If you stay it won’t be what you want, you’ll be nothing more than a ghost. If you’re trying to be with who you love it will only torture them and you. Do you understand now? Please say you do.” He stared without seeing, pondering what I revealed to him.
Oli’s P.O.V
Dead. Not living. No longer here. It’s like walking into a dream, I don’t belong here I have to move on. If this is my new reality I don’t think much of it. She took my hand in hers and we walked again. I’ve become so numb I can’t feel her there. Through the street, through the world I wasn’t part of anymore. Natalie, leaving her behind in the world I’m not part of. I wish I’d died young and didn’t have anything to leave behind. The whispering is around us again. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. The lights overhead seemed to converge on us, the darkness was left behind. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. I can’t stay here. Life will move on without me. Natalie had better forget me and move on. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away.
Except for the red exit signs and my computer screen the room was dark. The office room was dead compared to assiduous atmosphere during the day. Being the only sound in the room, the tapping on the keyboard sounded louder than a rock slide. I finished the email and sent it, pushing my stubborn hair out of my eyes. Turning off the computer plunged the already dim office room into darkness. I turned my cell phone on, bringing light back into the dark room. I hated working late, I wanted to be home with Nat and plan our wedding. Not to be dramatic, but I loved her more than life itself. I dialed home as I stepped into the elevator. The ringing bounced off the walls amplifying the sound. It rang twice before she picked up.
“Hey Oli, it’s been lonely here. Are you coming home anytime soon?”
“Yeah I’m sorry, I just finished. I’ll be home in twenty minutes.”
“Okay, see you then.”
I snapped my phone shut as the doors opened to the lobby. This room was lit by a single lamp at the security desk, when I went outside the street lights were still brighter. It was probably stupid to be walking the streets of downtown New York at night. Of course I had a car, but I’d rather walk. It was only 5 blocks and the night air of May felt good.
Madina’s P.O.V
I was standing in an alley. There was a gang conversing near me and one of the street lights had burned out. I was terrified. One of the gang members threw a bottle up. It hit the underside of a fire escape and shattered. Broken glass rained down and they laughed at it. I couldn’t imagine why they found that amusing. This was the bad part of town, a place that druggies and prostitutes called home. Music drifted out from an apartment above.
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
Off guard, red handed
Now I'm far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..
I need something else
Would someone please just give me
Hit me, knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh
All I want inside I still am empty
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
The gang was all quiet now. They seemed to be listening,like dogs. No, like wolves looking for prey. Stupid stupid gangs, they were nothing but stupid people doing stupid things to ruin other peoples lives. Stupid. They turned to leave the darkness of the alley. I followed these killers. It was why I was here wasn’t it? Someone is going to die. They kept going until they emerged on the street. It was completely deserted, except for one lonely man. He was walking without looking. His feet followed a familiar path with his head thrown back to study the stars. He was screwed. "Don't do it. Please don't do it." I whispered. No one could hear me. No one was listening. Without a sound I took her down. They infiltrated the shadows around him, enjoying his ignorance. He finally heard them, but too late. He turned around to get a fist in the face. I turned away. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to hear it. Shouting and thuds. Still nobody's listening. After an eternity of crouching in the ditch with hands over my ears it stopped. No more shouting. Laughing and footsteps fast on the pavement. Stupid people. I cautiously stepped over to his broken form on the ground. A kiss goodbye, your twisted shell. As rice grains and roses fall at your feet. Let's say goodbye, the hundredth time. And then tomorrow we'll do it again. He stirred and opened his eyes. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up with me. Pulled him away, away from the life he knew. We ran. I pulled him along as fast as I could, I didn’t want to see what we left behind, who we left behind. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away.
Oli’s P.O.V
I dragged her down I took her out. And back there I left her where no one could see and lifeless cold into this well. I can’t piece it together. One minute I’m seeing stars the next I’m running behind some kid. What is happening? I fell like I’ve left some part of me behind. The same words are whispering over and over again. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. I stopped dead, and shook my head trying to discern my thoughts. The only thing I’m thinking is WHAT THE HELL. The girl turned and looked at me. She had grey eyes and dirty blond hair. She was looking at me like I was missing something painfully obvious.
“Come on,” she said. “We have to go.” She grabbed my hand again but I wasn’t going anywhere.
“No.” I said. I wanted some answers. “What just happened? Who are you? Where do we need to go? Goddamn it tell me something!” Her eyes flashed with irritation.
“Why do you never understand? No one EVER understands!” I never thought it'd be this way just me and you, we're here alone and if you stay, all I'm asking for is. “Just trust me on this, please.” She said sounding exasperated.
“Why should I? Who the hell are you?” I always have been and always will be stubborn. She sighed,
“I’m Madina, happy? Can we go now?”
“Where are we going?!” I wanted to scream in frustration. I was getting no answers, I wanted to go home.
She was getting mad now. In that little kid you-don’t-understand-what-I-mean, kind of way.
“We don’t have time left! You don’t! Now will you just come with me? A thousand bodies piled up I never thought would be enough to show you just what I’ve been thinking.
“NO! Get away from me, I don’t need your help I’m going home!”
“Yes you do! Just come with me!” This was turning into a full out shouting match. The dreamlike quality in the air had turned back into a cold night in New York. I just turned away and went back in the direction I came from.
Madina’s P.O.V
He glared at me and turned around. Why do they never understand?
“Come back here!” I lost control of everything. He couldn’t go back. I ran after him trying to catch up. The air turned colder the farther he went. I reached hard pavement again and caught sight of him turning the corner. NO he can’t go back. I can’t let him go back.
Oli’s P.O.V
I kept running until I hit the corner. Stupid kid! That must’ve looked great, an adult shouting at a little girl like a teenager. And I’ll keep on making more, just to prove that I adore, every inch of sanity. I recognized where I was now. It kept getting colder, it didn’t feel like May anymore. I found the path I followed each night. That’s where I was. That’s where I am. I’m still there. It hit me like a sledgehammer. To see myself there, broken and bleeding, lying in the dirt, how is this happening? The girl, Madina was at my side again. I barely noticed. What happened? Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. I’m falling in the black, slipping through the cracks. Falling through the depths can I ever come back? Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. She slipped her hand in mine, breaking the trance. No, stop it. I don’t get it, I don’t want to understand. I wrenched my hand away from her, still staring there.
“Come on” she whispered. She grabbed my hand again and broke my gaze. “We have to go.” I ran.
Madina’s P.O.V
I came up behind him watching him crumble. I hate this part, but maybe now he’ll understand. “We have to go,” I whispered. He took a moment to send me a smoldering glare and ran. He didn’t bother looking where he was going. He just ran. No I guess he doesn’t understand. This is not going well. I have no chance of catching up with him though I still have to try. I have to make him understand. He can’t stay here. He doesn’t want to stay here. I ran after him, the soles of my shoes slapping on the sidewalk. The rhythm seemed to mock how much slower I ran compared to his aggressive speed. I was getting frustrated again. Nothing I can do is ever good enough. Finally I saw him. He took a turn onto a back street and ran up to a green door.
Oli’s P.O.V
I ran home, ran away from the freakish nightmare that could not be true. There is no way I’m – I’m not dead, just over-worked. Any minute I’ll wake up with piles of work to finish. I reached home, but couldn’t open the door. Why was it locked it shouldn’t be locked. I banged on the door, nothing happened. The solid green door was seemingly a barrier from my nightmare to the reality, a reality I desperately wanted back. I tried harder, where was Nat? Couldn’t she hear me? I ran around to the front of the house, she was standing in the window looking for me. I’m right here! I wanted to scream but I didn’t have the breath, I was suffocating. She couldn’t see me. She can’t see me. This can’t be happening. These hands stained red from the times that I’ve killed you and then, we can wash down this engagement ring with poison and kerosene.
Madina’s P.O.V
He stood before the window looking completely defeated. I think he understands now. I wasn’t sure how to approach him, I don’t want to send him off again.
“Will you please listen to me now?” He turned to me livid, shaking with rage.
“NO I WILL NOT YOU STUPID BITCH YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT! LEAVE ME ALONE JUST GO AWAY.”
He was taking it all out on me. I understand but he still doesn’t. We’ll laugh as we die and celebrate the end of things with cheap champagne. Please don’t run again. I begged silently. He seemed to read my thoughts.
“I have nowhere else to run.”
“It’s not my fault. I’m only here to help you.” I think I lost my last chance a while ago, probably a full out explanation is better at this part. This is my least favorite way to go, but sometimes it’s the only way. Even I don’t know the ‘why’ part of it.
“Ok, I’m dead, you are dead. I have to help you get out of this world because you can’t find your way on your own. I know you don’t want to, but you will understand. If you stay it won’t be what you want, you’ll be nothing more than a ghost. If you’re trying to be with who you love it will only torture them and you. Do you understand now? Please say you do.” He stared without seeing, pondering what I revealed to him.
Oli’s P.O.V
Dead. Not living. No longer here. It’s like walking into a dream, I don’t belong here I have to move on. If this is my new reality I don’t think much of it. She took my hand in hers and we walked again. I’ve become so numb I can’t feel her there. Through the street, through the world I wasn’t part of anymore. Natalie, leaving her behind in the world I’m not part of. I wish I’d died young and didn’t have anything to leave behind. The whispering is around us again. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. The lights overhead seemed to converge on us, the darkness was left behind. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. I can’t stay here. Life will move on without me. Natalie had better forget me and move on. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away. Without a sound without a sound and I wish you away.