More Interviews From Hell!

Xenophobe: "WHY WHY WHY WHY did you leave Panic!? It's not fair, Ryro. NOT FAIR."

Skellington: "Did you sign the pre-nup?"

Ryan: "Xena. I already told you. I'm not saying it again, especially if you're recording this."

Xenophobe: "Okay, okay. But please tell me. Why did you grow your hair out? I miss your pixie cut. That was the whole reason I was gonna get my haircut this weekend, because your hair was pretty."

Ross shrugs. "Oh well."

Skellington: "Look, sir. I don't like your attitude. Turn it around."

Xenophobe: "I'm sorry I was mean, man. I love you, Ryan."

Skellington: "Don't apologize to him."

Xenophobe: "No, no, it's okay. It's okay. Ryan, you're really pretty... I remember the time I kept calling you Rollo at that one party. Remember that?!"

Ryan is busy texting. "Uhhh huh."

Skellington: "He's not even listening."

Xenophobe nods. "Mmhm. Mmhm. That's why I hooked up with Brendon when you were in the toilet."

Ryan: "Uhhh huh."

Xenophobe: "And he was like, 'Oh, Xena, you're so sexy and pretty and you smell good.'"

Ryan: "Uhhh huh."

Skellington: "Did that really happen?"

Xenophobe whispers. "Of course not. I'm not trying to be truthful, I was passed the fuck out at that party."

Skellington: "When was this party?"

Xenophobe: "I don't even-- sometime last year. Boss was there... of course."

Skellington: "I still don't know how Stump was on tour while Boss was here."

Xenophobe: "Yeah, I don't know."

Ryan: "You talkin' 'bout Rob?"

Skellington: "Ohh. Look who's waking up."

Ryan: "I remember a few things between... 'Rob' and I..."

Xenophobe squints at him. "What the hell did you do to my baby?..."

Ryan: "Oh... nothing. A gentleman, he is. But he is an aggressive one. Quite curious too."

Xenophobe: "Ross,"

Skellington: "What the hell is this?!"

Ryan: "His voice is as smooth as his face. Gee-whiz. I melted in his clutch, I did, against the wall where he pinned me up. Gee-wizard."

Xenophobe: "That's not funny!"

Ryan: "Not so fast, I didn't even get to the part when he thrust his lips against mine--"

Skellington holds Xenophobe back from pouncing on him.

Xenophobe: "Ross, I swear to god, if you don't get over here so I can whoop your ass--"

Ryan looks at his watch and stands, making his way to the door.. "Welp, that about does it. Best get out of here. Cassadee's waiting for me in the car. Ne'er fuck with my home girl, Xena. Check and mate. Toodles." he shuts the door behind him.

Skellington: "You think he was making that up?"

Xenophobe: "Of course. I mean, not even Mr. Stump would go after Ryro."

Skellington: "Hell, I would."

Xenophobe: "What?! I thought you were... y'know, straight."

Skellington: "For the most part. But when a dude looks like a chick, I can't help but to get confused."

Xenophobe: "Hm."

Skellington: "Hm."