More Interviews From Hell!

Pete, Patrick, Joe and Andy rush into the room while Xenophobe, Skellington and Tyranny sit on the sofas.

Xenophobe stands, patting herself down (in case there is dust on her "for some reason.") "Hey, guys..."

Patrick awkwardly gives her a hug. "Hi, Xena..."

Xenophobe: "Have a seat, guys..."

The four sit down in various places; Patrick and Pete sit on the sofa with Skellington and
Xenophobe, Andy stands in a vacant corner, and Joe gets comfortable lying on the table.

Patrick: "So where's the emergency? We got here as soon as we could."

Xenophobe: "About that..."

Skellington: "She's just wondering; you remember that party last year... y'know, the party... you know..."

Patrick: "I... don't follow..."

Tyranny: "Did you or did you not hook up with Ryan Ross?!"

Xenophobe: "Shoo, Tania. You is beast."

Tyranny: "Hell yeah, I know."

Patrick: "Ew! No! Xena... is that why you called us here? I'm leaving."

Xenophobe: "No-- I'm sorry, Mr. Stump. I'm just scared."

Patrick: "Where are you getting these ideas?"

Xenophobe: "Ryan said!"

Pete: "Why are you listening to anything Ryan says? That cheap bastard."

Patrick: "What?"

Pete: "Don't even ask. You already know."

Patrick: "Oh no, not now, Wentz."

Pete starts sobbing. " I will never be able to forgive that bastard for what he did!"

Joe rolls his eyes. "I'm really tired of this." He sits up.

Xenophobe: "Joe, I never get around to calling you. What it do?"

Joe: "I don't even know anymore."

Xenophobe: "Is that a bad thing?"

Joe: "It's very positive."

Xenophobe: "Well, I'm happy for you."

He smiles brightly. "Andy."

Andy pulls the lamp shade off from over his head.

Joe: "You're bright and all... but you don't make a very good lamp."

Andy drops the shade onto the floor and subtly starts crying.

Tyranny gets up to comfort him. "Poor baby. I like you the way you are, Mr. Hurley."

Andy: "Thank you, Tania."

Xenophobe: "Hey, J.C., How's it going with Paige?"

Skellington: "No comment..." he blushes.

The door slams open.

Xenophobe: "Who is it?!"

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz storms in. "Pete. In the car. NOW."

Pete: "I have a problem."

Ashlee: "I do too. It's called 'clean the goddamn kitchen before you leave the house', starring Pete Wentz. GET IN THE CAR."

Paige hops into the room. "Hey, hey, hey! Hope I'm not tardy for the party!"

Skellington attacks Paige with a hugs. "Paigey-Baby."

Paige: "Jakey-Quakey."

Xenophobe mumbles sarcastically. "Yay, love."

Tyranny: "Stop lying."

Andy: "You know you're in love."

Xenophobe: "Shut up."

Joe laughs and points at Xenophobe. "Ha ha, you're in love!"

Xenophobe laughs and points back at him. "Ha ha, so are you! And you said 'urine'!"

Joe: "Oh, you got me again." he faints.

Tyranny: "Oh no!"

Andy: "Don't worry. He's just a little tired."

Xenophobe: "Mr. Wentz, Mrs. Simpson-Wentz, who's watching the baby?"

Ashlee: "Don't worry. Hemingway's got it down."

Xenophobe: "Which reminds me! Rob's taking me to the pet shop after work. I'm so excited."

Tyranny: "Are you sure it's not to get rid of you?"

Xenophobe lunges at Tyranny, and the two begin to run around the room.

Paige: "OH MY GOD, IT'S PETE WENTZ."

Skellington: "You didn't just notice that, did you?"

Paige: "PETE. I NEED TO HUG YOU." she approaches Pete.

Pete stands. "Well, I need a hug."

Paige squeezes him until his eyeballs pop out.

Patrick: "God dammit, lady. I just replaced those."

Paige is sorry. "I'm sorry, Mr. Stump."

Patrick stands, picking up Pete's eyeballs and dusting them off. "It's okay... it's always okay." he puts them back into Pete's eye sockets.

Pete: "Um... Paige... You're, um... Very... um..."

Ashlee turns red with rage. "Dammit, he thinks you're cute."

Pete: "NO. You're... down-right sexy! Umph. What is thisss. God-damn." he checks her out. "I say we should go into the closet."

Ashlee grabs his arm. "PETE--"

Pete: "Relapsssse, baby. I wasn't gonna exclude you in this."

Ashlee twirls her hair with her finger. "Ohh... okai!"

The three go into the closet.

Skellington sits down next to Patrick. "Dammit... what a tool."

Patrick: "You think you're hurt, my girlfriend knows about Xena."

Skellington: "Sheesh. How'd she take it?"

Patrick: "I have bruises. Lots of bruises."

Skellington: "...Oh."

Xenophobe pounces on Tyranny, and they topple onto Skellington's lap.

Xenophobe yells. "I'VE GOT A GOLDEN TICKET!"

Skellington: "You smell like rum."

Xenophobe: "Dammit, it leaked. Tania, you're done for."

Tyranny doesn't respond.

Xenophobe: "Tania.... TANIA..."

Skellington: "Tania... Satan's here... Tania?"

Xenophobe elbows Tyranny in the head. "Wakey, wakey, sleepy head..."

Skellington turns to Patrick: "So you didn't fool around with Ryan Ross."

Patrick: "Once."